For those affected by Alzheimer's disease

As many of you know, my mother is in the mid- to late stages of Alzheimer's disease. If we can afford to go to the States, I fear she won't recognize me, as she already thinks I'm her sister, and is rapidly declining. I'd like for others affected by this disease to throw in their input and support, as it's tearing me apart. I'm not there during the last phases of her disease. Thanks.

Newsweek recently had some very good articles about Alzheimer's and caring for a parent with Alzheimer's. I'm sure you've done research to beat the band, but I thought their approach was very sensitive to the issues of being a carer and the emotional toll the disease takes on a family.

http://www.alzheimersnotes.com/newsweek-on-alzheimers/

My maternal grandma had Alzheimer's, and she lived with us during the last year of her life.  I was about 13 at the time.  My younger sisters didn't really remember what she was like when she could remember their names, but I did...albeit vaguely.

Back then, I spent a lot of time wishing that I didn't have to see her like that.  I think it's one of those situations where you just really can't win.  If I wasn't around her, I'd have been feeling like you and regretting that I couldn't be there for her.  But I don't think that I felt any better being there and having her call me Rhetta or Mary (two of my aunts' names) every day.

I'm not sure if any of my babblings make sense, and I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but you definitely have my sympathy.

Thanks, Sarah and Candice. I'll check out the link, Sarah. As it stands now, Candice, my mom still knows my name but thinks I'm her baby sister. She also thinks two of my five brothers are her brothers. The other three she acknowledges as her own children. She doesn't recognize my father as her husband, and sleeps in the master bedroom with the door locked, while he sleeps in another room.

She changed shockingly quickly. She went from being occasionally forgetful to practically forgetting everything in no time flat. The pace of her Alzheimer's has been crushing to see and hear about. Anyway, I'm not trying to gain pity or bum anyone out. I just wanted to tell my story and hear from others. Thanks again.

Suzanne

My grandmother is slowly getting worse with Alzheimers. She has a hard time remembering whats going on and yesterday told me she didn't know how to cook a frozen pizza. It's so sad.

There are several support groups for families of those with Alzheimers. Have you ever looked into any of those?

hi Suzanne , my mother died last year from  cancer, but before she died she was diagnosed with the early stages of  Alzheimer's, she used to forget little things like when she had lunch, but she still remembered who her family were and where she lived, so in a way I'm glad she died when she did. i know its sad and i know your mother is in a worse state than mine was, but try to remember all the happy times you had together. good wishes to you and your mum.

We have early-onset Alzheimers in the family, or something else as well... they're not sure.  One great-grandfather went down in his 30's and ended up in an insane asylum/prison.

Grandmother got it in her 50's, and was put in a home after trying to drive  the wrong way on the highway.  She was severely injured, but thankfully nobody else was.  She had almost set the house on fire a number of times, so I think a home was the best choice.. Nobody could watch her 24 hrs.  (She'd wake up at 3 am and start cooking... then wander away.)

At the home, sometimes she would recognise visitors, but it wasn't a good thing.  At the point where she  remembered who you were, she'd realise that she had forgotten loads of stuff.  Then she would cry and get agitated.

Anyhow, this disease is horrible.  It doesn't kill people... at least not quickly.  Noni was in the home over 20 years.  No advice here.  I chose to stop visiting, some relatives continued.  She was part of a UBC study on the disease, hope they get some useful results.

Suzanne, do what you think best. 

suzanne-  i'm so sorry that you & your family have to go through this.  unfortunatly/fortunatly, you're not alone.  this family of diseases effects so many families now.  i'd suggest finding a support group here in the UK- or perhaps another friend who's going through similar things.  you're dilema, confusion, not knowing what to do is normal.  you're trying to balance what's best for you, your family, your mother.

my aunt is 60.  she has pick's disease-a frontal lobe disorder.  yeserday she was picked up by the wilmington police department.  my father had to get down and get her from the station.  this isn't the first time.  my parent's are now thinking of putting her in a home becuase the 12 hr/day care they have arranged for her isn't suitable.  the guilt, confusion, turmoil is horrendous. 

ImissEngland. I'm going to find an internet support group. There must be a lot out there. Whiteknight, I'm so, so sorry to hear about your mom. If it's any consolation, she didn't have to suffer the worst of Alzheimer's. Madeira, thanks for your support. I guess the worst part is missing out on what memory she does have left. Meggles, I'm also very sorry to hear about your aunt. I know that putting her in a home is a hard decision.

My dad is 79 and singlehandedly takes care of my mom, who's 80. He's not speaking to me for some mysterious disrespect I've shown him, and he doesn't listen to the rest of the family regarding getting in-home care, etc., goes. I guess we'll take it day by day...