How do you adapt and adjust?

You introduce yourself to the neighbours BEFORE you buy the house?  

I've had people do this on several occasions-usually to get an honest opinion about parking, the neighbourhood, etc.  
And on two occasions I've had people ask to look aruond my house to get an idea of the floor plan of the house next door that was for sale  

It's a good idea, I just thought it sounded a very "un-English" thing to do!

You introduce yourself to the neighbours BEFORE you buy the house?  

When we were looking at our house, wondering whether to buy, the neighbor was almost in our face wanting to know us. After living here, and subsequently having to hire a lawyer to tell the neighbor to back off, we probably should have looked into them a bit harder first.

Sheesh, Lisa!   That *does* sound bad...Hopefully you're out of that place now, and on to somewhere happier and better?

~Christa

We're still here, but it's gotten happier and better since we sent the lawyer's letter ...

We've really been put "through the wringer" by our neighbours.  All the problems seemed to start when we elected to live our lives and look after new home in the way that we chose, and not in the way that our neighbours thought we should; instead of agreeing to disagree with us, they started using every means at their disposal to make our lives difficult.  It was REALLY nasty for a while as we got flooded out with bureaucratic paperwork and processes, but cutting a long story short we were vindicated on each count.  Oh - and any further complains along the same lines will now just be laughed at - they've "shot their bolt".

Odd things do still happen - we came back from a few days in DC at the end of December and I suspect that our neighbours thought we were away for the new year ... there "he" is as we come into the drive dumping the red hot ashes from their coal fire onto our driveway.  He skuttles inside as soon as he sees us - silly man - and I pour some water on the ashes to cool them down so we can bring our car up our drive to our house!

But mostly I just look at them in pity - I pity them that they're so narrowminded that they can't see that others have different views to theirs.  I pity them that they have so little to do that they watch everyone coming to and leaving from our house (and their other neighbour's too).  And I chuckle when I realise just how much money they've lost through their actions and attitude - we work from home and frequently have overnight guests in the area (there will  be 5 next week), and they're trying to run a Guest House, but complain at the lack of business.

I'm sure 2003 will bring fresh challenges, but we've been somewhat hardened by our experience - we can cope much better now.  And "she"s now off onto other matters - I understand from friends that the local paper carried a letter complaining about the noise of fireworks in early November.  No prizes for guessing who wrote it

Correction (I'm being slightly pedantic, but I should get it right):

We were in error in placing a portable spa in an enclosure of about 11 cubic metres in our back garden.  The limit is usually much higher and we were advised by the people we bought it from that it was well within planning law.  Unfortunatly, due to our home being of historic interest we (unusually) required planning permission for an enclosure that exceeded 10 cubic metres.

I've had neighbours from hell, both here and in the USA. We bought a house many years ago here in the UK, lived in it for almost 20 years. The day we were moving in the guy from next door introduced himself and said, "You will have to raise my chimney as the smoke blows onto his house", unbelievable! Over the next few years this guy became a major pain in the but. Fortunately he died, so sticking needles into a doll worked for me. Now it was as a result of this experience I learned to check out my neighbours a little more carefully. The tell-tale signs that something is potentially wrong are:

1/ No eye contact when talking to you... you'll find these people tend to treat every question like an inquisition and probably do have a lot to hide.
2/ Too much eye contact when talking to you... the person is psychotic.
3/ Too much enthusiasm...these people give too much too quickly and expect a lot in return too quickly.
4/ Gives vague responses about the neighbours...either is the neighbour from hell or knows who it is, the fact remains, there is a neighbour from hell in the area.
5/ Wants to be too helpful...Usually the person is really being extremely nosey, these people are usually harmless but can be a pain the ass if you let them into your life.
6/ Doesn't want to be helpful at all...this person is the neighbour from hell.

The physical signs that you should not live in the area are...

If you hear gun shots when you are talking to the neighbours...this is really a very bad sign...I had this problem when I returned to the States for an extended period and rented an apartment in Florida.

If you can't walk on the pavement because it's like a dog turd obstacle course....something like the area I currently live in, of course I've got great neighbours so I don't mind this too much

The neighbours keep more than ten cats...usually the house you're looking at will be the local cat loo (toilet in American), particularly if no one has lived in the house your thinking of buying for a while...I'd know this because the house I bought and am currently renovating had, and occasional still has, this problem.

If the house next to the one you're interested in looks like a builders yard and has weeds growing up through the rubbish piled outside...the house probably belongs to a builder/DIY'er from hell...I would know this because I'm one of them

Finally, if you find you have mistakenly moved into the wrong area get a degree in psychology....it won't help but it will keep you occupied for a while.

Seems that the topic took a veer here, but to get back on the subject...  I have just passed my 3 year mark in December of living in England.  I feel that I have adjusted well.  I went through the first two years of never meeting another American and wondering if there was any other American here.  I finally met Gina at work, believe or not.  I work for a large building society and believe it or not, now I have found another one!    Through Gina, I found expats sites that could help when I feel the 'lonely' come upon me...

My first 6 months was the hardest.  I think mainly because I wasn't prepared to live in England.  I didn't find out enough and didn't know what to expect.  I was so wrapped up in other things, I just 'figured' England would be much like America.  Silly me!
Once I stopped comparing the two countries and had a long talk with myself, I grew by leaps and bounds.  It occurred to me that England and the US were NOT the same, NOT a bit like each other and were never going to be.  It was a freeing feeling, actually.  Comparing is hard work!
Even after living here for 3 years, every once in awhile, I still smile a big smile and say to myself....'hey, you, you are actually living in England!'  and really liking it!
I have grown children back in California and I do miss them terribly at times, but we keep in contact and I know they have their own lives and are learning and having their own life experiences.  They will call if and when they need me.  I talk and email them weekly.
I have made friends here, both American and English, like where I work, have a nice place to live, and best of all, a wonderful, supportive husband/best friend. What more could a girl ask for?  
Life is what you make it.  It is up to you to make yourself happy.  I have  

Adapting to a new country is different for everyone. For me, I started settling in right after I got a job. I'd been here 7 months, didn't work, couldn't drive, didn't know my way around, had no friends, etc. I spent my days watching DIY and cooking shows on TV! ("Oh my God, people paint their walls lime green?")

Driving helped me to adapt, too, though it brought me to tears many times and I swore I'd never learn. Slowly, I was being exposed to the people, culture, language and general lifestyle. It didn't happen overnight. I've been here just a little over 2 years and I think it's safe to say that I feel pretty settled in now.

I guess I'd say you need to give it time. And that's different for everyone, too. Some people are more adaptable than others..one person may adapt after 6 months, but for other people it may take years. It helps to have an open mind and to remind yourself what a fantastic experience this is! As Jody said, many times I stop and think to myself, "Wow, I'm living in ENGLAND!" I love the countryside, the people, the language. Yes, I still get homesick sometimes but I still wouldn't give this up. I think it's cool!  

Finally, if you find you have mistakenly moved into the wrong area get a degree in psychology....it won't help but it will keep you occupied for a while.