mfredericka,
I know exactly where you work. I went to Maryland, used to go to Bennigan's and Jasper's, not to mention the lake there. I've lived there, Beltsville and College Park. Small world.
I think the toughest thing about September 11, as an expat, was not only aching about the devastation, but wishing you were in the States (I'm from D.C.--the Pentagon attack hit me as hard as the WTC one did). To be here on the anniversary brought that same feeling back. In my lifetime, September 11 has been the most significant thing to happen to the States. But I wasn't even in the country to know how everyone there dealt with it, and I don't have American neighbors next door.
One of the nicest things about the date, both this year and last, was the fact that my mother-in-law came by with flowers and a card saying she knew how painful it must be to be an out-of-country American, that she felt for me, my family, and every American citizen, particularly those in Britain, and that justice would be served. Bear in mind that we're not close, generally speaking. But my husband and his parents were as outraged as anyone about it, believe me.
Anyone, enough about that. I just wish everyone would consider the pain and fear of all the people on the four planes, and in the Pentagon (there are MANY people still in hospital care for third- and fourth-degree burns from that, but no one seems to know it), instead of thinking only the people in the WTC suffered.