advice?

hi everyone

im new to the site. and kind of new to the LDR im in. we had talked online for a year before our first meeting. we spent a week together the first time we meet. but neither of us wanted to handle a LDR. he want back to the UK and got a girlfriend. and i got a boyfriend. we stayed friends and always wished things were different between us. a couple months later he broke up with his girlfriend, i was the good friend through it all. i soon left my boyfriend. he asked me to come visit him so i did. i spent 3 weeks with him. i met his family and his friends. but we never became an official couple. i went home nov and it was so hard to be apart. so for christmas he bought be a ticket back to spend it with him. i stayed for a month this time. we became an official couple this time. i spent christmas with his family. it was a perfect holiday.

but now its hard. there is a lot of stress on us. we fight often because neither of us ever thought we would be in a LDR. we went from spending everyday together for almost 2 months to talking online. we are going back to NYC this summer, but its taking forever to get here.

is there anything that can make this easier? he is scared i wont be able to find a job in the country to stay there long term. i still have my hopes up about that though. i try to stay positive but its hard. no one i know understands my situation. if anyone would like to talk to me about this they can message me. i feel so alone sometimes.

(((((hugs)))))

So many of us have been there and know exactly how it feels. My boyfriend and I would argue a lot when we were really missing each other and feeling the strain of the distance. Using webcam helped us a lot because we could see each other as well as hear each other. Worrying about when you will finally be able to be together and ending the distance is a huge worry in an LDR, but if you read through this section and the Visa and Citizenship section, you will see loads of success stories and it may help to learn how other people made it happen.

Welcome!

thanks for the welcome.

we try to use cams. sometimes it helps, other times i feel it makes it worse. its one of those i can see but i cant touch kind of things.

ive been looking around on this site. it looks like a lot more people are going through this then i thought.

thanks for the help

we try to use cams. sometimes it helps, other times i feel it makes it worse. its one of those i can see but i cant touch kind of things.

Hi Nienna and welcome

I agree with the camera thing, it's something we never did for the very reason you've stated.  We relied on the phone, we had regular times when we would talk as a minimum and then phoned at other times with the full knowledge that the other person may or may not be there to answer (at the start I used to get in a huff because he should be there whenever i call, day or night, right!!!)

I can't remember arguing with him, maybe we did but it's gone from memory if it ever happened.

We knew pretty much from the start that we were going to be together so there was pressure as to when, but once that got decided it was plain sailing.

One thing - Now that he's here, I absolute HATE speaking to him on the phone now!