Spouses of Academics Unite!!

I am the spouse of an academic and a wanna-be academic (PhD student) myself.  Boy do I have a lot to vent!!!


Ahh, that's better...  Sorry for the "little" vent-- it did help though.  For now.  Thanks for listening.

Christine..  you are definitely among friends here!!!  All I can say is *hugs* and I understand every single word you said!!!  We have been there done that in three countries!!  Except we didn't wait to have kids - we did it at the same time. 

I grew up in an academic ghetto. All my parents' friends and the families I grew up with were academics at the University (except my parents).  Very ivory tower and boy they led great lives.  They had it all:  the nice house, only one spouse working, comfortable pension..  etc..  And it was all on the PUBLIC DOLLAR!!!!! 

Now they're all retired and they really look down on DH because he's 40 and hasn't reached the upper echilon of academe that they had reached at age 30.  One thing they over look though, DH has waaay more publications and a better CV then they had AT THE END of their careers.  And it's those lay-abouts who have made it virtually impossible for the next generation of academics to get established. 

Don't get me started on this issue... oh wait, I already got started.  I could go on and on and on about this. 

10 years ago, the road was very clear.  If DH followed the steps, it was predictable as to where he would wind up.  The rules have changed so drastically that who knows where he'll wind up.  it's a horrible industry that eats its young.  I loathe and despise it. 

At least one of my kids will wind up an academic, I know it! 

Now they're all retired and they really look down on DH because he's 40 and hasn't reached the upper echilon of academe that they had reached at age 30.  One thing they over look though, DH has waaay more publications and a better CV then they had AT THE END of their careers.  And it's those lay-abouts who have made it virtually impossible for the next generation of academics to get established. 

10 years ago, the road was very clear.  If DH followed the steps, it was predictable as to where he would wind up.  The rules have changed so drastically that who knows where he'll wind up.  it's a horrible industry that eats its young.  I loathe and despise it. 

I'll join you in your loathing.

Yeah, per the ages of academics of a generation ago vs. today...ok, I'm 30.  My current advisor earned the rank of full professor by the age of 34.  34!!!!    We have postdocs in the lab who are older than that who are just getting their FIRST jobs!!

10 years ago, I was a senior in college with no inkling of what I'd be in for now.  Back then it was more clear, and it was drilled into me to earn the bachelor's, the master's, then the doctorate and postdoc, all in a row like that.  The system is broken but I wonder if it's beyond repair these days...sometimes I feel like I'll never get the chance to flourish and end up another jaded victim of the system.

I just noticed this thread.

(hand up) Me me!

My husband has been in the academia game since 1987. His is a pretty staid area--mathematics (what's more, statistics), so I think his career has been a little more cut and dried. There don't seem to be a lot of post-docs in maths. You're more apt to be on the tenure clock as soon as you start a job after your phD, and then you've got six very unpleasant years ahead. After that, people seem to stay put for decades and decades. Or, if they're a prima donna they go looking for other offers and play these to get massive pay rises. (It makes me sick.) We'd been living in the same town for 19 years. Yawn.

This move to England was just the kick in the pants we needed!

But, no question, the golden age was at least a generation ago. It's seems much more cut-throat and competitive nowadays, with not enough cooperation and support.

The thing that always gets me is when people outside academia say, Oh, so he has the summer off? They never seem to get that it's about so much more than the teaching. There's a whole lot of pressure on publishing and chasing grants.

There's a whole lot of pressure on publishing and chasing grants.

So true, I hear about one or the other almost every night from my husband who is still submitting papers from his PhD which he finished in July and at the same time he's applying for NIH grants to take back to the States when he finishes his post-doc.

It's funny because he talks to me about work the same way he does to colleagues but half the time I have no idea what he's talking about.  When he says "I got into Blood", I just have to assume that's a really good thing...as I have to idea what the good journals are   

I'm dredging up this old thread with some good news!  My DH has been selected for a post-doc position at Yale University starting this fall.  We are thrilled he was chosen as it was competitive and he was their first choice.  This also means we're moving back to the US!!   

Congrats! That is very exciting news, Geeta.

Fantastic news! Congrats to him.

Great news! Congrats to him.

Congratulations to your DH Geeta, hope the move home goes well...are you still organising that meet up...we could have a going away party 

Thanks everyone! C, we are definitely going to do the meetup, even if it's just you and me . I will likely try to have a leaving do in London too for all the UKYers I am going to miss!

I've told you already, but congrats again!!

Congrats!

That is fantastic!  Always new he was a brain!

We'll miss you.

Vicky

Thanks everyone! C, we are definitely going to do the meetup, even if it's just you and me . I will likely try to have a leaving do in London too for all the UKYers I am going to miss!

Excellent, although I'd have to bring the american boy with me so that he can finally meet an american in the UK (even if it is one that's just leaving!).