How do I explain the speeches to my American bridal party?

We're not getting married until next September, so there's plenty of time, but I'm having a hard time explaining the concept of wedding speeches to my Dad and Man of Honour (both Americans). Trying to get across that it's a prepared speech, the length of time, the tone, etc, is quite difficult... The Groom and Best Man are English, so there's no problems there, at least.

Does anyone have any links to good explanations or transcripts of typical speeches? I mean, I want them to say what they want about us, but I don't want them to be embarrassed by going a bit too far, or not preparing something, etc... They only get one shot at it.

Every wedding Ive been to in America has had speeches.  Especially from the Best Man and Maid of Honor... sometimes from the parents...

I've never heard a Maid of Honour speech in either country!

I don't think the members of your wedding party should feel an obligation to make a long speech. We're not doing it at our wedding (even though everyone is British) just because most of them hate speaking in public!    I think just a few words of thanks is all we'll be doing. Short and sweet!

The only speeches at my wedding were my Dad, my DH and his best man.  I went to a wedding in Canada once where virtually everyone in the wedding party did speeches! 

Not sure if this is a good website or not but give this a go (I'm pretty sure my Dad used this one to help him):

http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/speechhome.aspx

every wedding i've been to has had at least some speeches- both in the US & UK.  last year I gave a Maid-of-Honor speech- in the US.  short, sweet & to the point.

It's ony really the groom, best man and father of the bride who need to make speeches - your maid/man of honour doesn't need to.

As far as I recall, the job of the father of the bride is to welcome everybody (especially important if people have travelled a long way), thank the parents of the groom for all their help, and to propose the toast to the Bride and Groom.  It certainly doesn't need to be very long.

Vicky

My dad, husband and the best man gave speeches at our American wedding.

My brother and the maid-of-honor both gave speeches at my niece's American wedding this summer....

Having sat thru about 25 sets of speeches this summer, I am pretty qualified on this subject, lol.

The order of speeches tends to be:

Father of the Bride, (since the bride's family traditionally hosts the reception I guess)

He will welcome the guests, and the groom to the family, speaks about his daughter a bit, etc, then pass to the groom. He toasts the couple,

Groom's biggest job is to say something about how beautiful his 'wife' is (to the sounds of lots of 'ahhh's',  since that's the first time he's called her his wife, lol). He also thanks both sides of the family, and the wedding party for all their help and hard work. Most of the time, a bouquet of flowers is given to both mothers, and little gifts to the bridesmaids. Toasts to the mothers, wedding party, and to his lovely bride.

Then it's the best man's turn, and part of his job is to speak on behalf of the bridesmaids, (it's tradition here, go figure). He tells embarassing stories about the couple, mainly the groom, and toasts the happy couple. The best man also reads any cards or telegrams (emails) from anyone who was unable to attend.

Sometimes the father of the groom says a few words, and lately the bride has spoken. But the three main ones are the FOB, Groom, and BM. If someone wants to speak, it doesn't seem to be a problem, a couple of maids of honour's have spoken this year, but they were both sisters of the bride.

Hope this helps, and have a great wedding

Teri

Yeah I don't mean to pile on, but every American wedding I've been to has had speeches, too.  I was expected (well, asked) to give one as my best friend's maid (oops matron!) of honour last year, as well

My personal tips:

- explain who you are, as only half of the people there will know you, if that.  Try to fit in a fun story here.  I did some bit about the two of us going to lots of hair metal shows when we were kids.  This got a good reaction, as her family still remembers our black nail polish days.

- if you're a family member then this means telling some potentially embarrassing story from the childhood of the person you're representing.  Don't go too far, though. 

- don't mention their exes.  This never ends well.

- Talk about what a great choice the bride/groom is.

- only quote something if you think you can work it in easily and can remember it all.  The  best man at this particular wedding just went up and read part of a poem, a not particularly romantic one, at that.  He didn't mention the bride at all.  He wished the groom good luck.  I think it took the bride weeks to get over it. 

Anyway, here are some links I just found:

http://weddings.about.com/od/theweddingparty/a/toastwriting.htm  (appears to be an American site)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A695324  (A British version)

I think if you explain to them that it's essentially a long toast, they should understand.

Thanks for all the tips! It's all really helpful. I know they don't have to, but I really want them to!

Maybe it's a regional thing in the US? I've never been to an American one that's had anything more than 30 seconds of mumbled thanks, whereas all the English ones are full-on comedy stand up routines...

Every American wedding I've been too (too many ) have had speeches at the reception. But only by the best man and the father of the bride and sometimes father of the groom (or mother if there isn't a father). And they're always the same mix of humor and emotion meant to leave everybody smiling and with a tear in their eye. I've never been to a wedding where the maid of honor gave a speech. I've been a maid of honor and would have hated giving a speech, but that's because I hate making public speeches.

Thanks for all the tips! It's all really helpful. I know they don't have to, but I really want them to!

Maybe it's a regional thing in the US? I've never been to an American one that's had anything more than 30 seconds of mumbled thanks, whereas all the English ones are full-on comedy stand up routines...

That reminds me of one of the funniest best man speeches,, he announced that now that 'Bob' was a married man,, all the girls should return their copy of his flat keys back to him. He got a few chuckles, and then full out laughs when several girls went over to the groom and desposited (relunctantly) keys, and got a goodbye kiss. Then all hell broke out when two guys also joined in the key return, and got their 'goodbye kiss',, it was hysterical, lol.