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Hi all,

Now that Emma and I are engaged, we've been wracking our brains trying to find a place to have a wedding that is easy to get to for both our North American and European family and friends.

We haven't found one.  Would anyone like to share how they resolved the issue?  Did you have multiple ceremonies?  Did you just pick one and let everyone figure out how to get there on their own?  Did you just run off by yourselves and not invite anyone? 

Any advice appreciated.

thanks,
Carl

We went out of town (UK) and only invited our witnesses and their partners. DH's oldest sister and her oldest daughter refused to stay home, so they turned up too, LOL. But that was it for the actual wedding - just the ceremony at the registrar's office and then a nice dinner out. The weekend following we had a big party for our UK friends and dh's family (basically a traditional Engish reception - DJ, buffet, etc). Then on our first anniversary my mom gave us a big party for my family and friends in the US. It all worked out perfectly for us! 

We married in my home town in the states, and everyone we invited from the UK, except for my husbands cousins, came. I figure if people really want to come, they will find a way to get there. We had about 25 friends from the UK come to the wedding. The whole thing was awesome!

Once we had that sorted out, we offered our out of town guests as many lifts, and planned journeys as possible. I sent out maps and organised meetings for everyone who came. Lucky for me, my family only live about 30 miles from New York City, so that was also a big draw as it was a built in holiday for them also.

I don't know if that helps, but thats what we did.

Ha, this was a difficult one for us, as well.  They should have a little island right in the middle of the atlantic ocean for all the US/UK couples!

We ended up having our main family wedding in the US, and we're having a second reception in the UK next week for DH's extended family who couldn't make it to the wedding.  This arrangement was not really my choice, though- was pressured into it due to the fact that my parents paid for the wedding. [We did end up eloping with no family at the registrar's beforehand, actually so our family wedding wasn't legal- that decision was due in large part to immigration circumstances, but also because we really just wanted to do things our way.]

There isn't really a perfect solution, but my ideal would have been to have a very small immediate family and super close friends only ceremony in Scotland/Ireland, with two bigger receptions for the extended families in England and Texas.  Turns out that's actually really close to what we did/are doing after all was said and done, but if I had planned it that way ahead of time I would have skipped all the epic family drama!  

We settled on a small wedding in the US, and my husband only had 3 people on his side there. For us, it didn't really matter - because we'd been separated for so long prior to the wedding.

Your situation is obviously a bit different - Good luck planning it! I'd vote for a wedding on one side and a 2nd reception on the other. 

We had two receptions: one in the US and one in the UK.

We had our ceremony and a reception with the US guests and my husband's immediate family in New York, and then a month later we had a reception in the UK.

I consider myself very lucky that everybody was happy with this plan. For a variety of reasons it made more sense to get married in the US. My mother in-law decided right away that she wanted to throw a UK reception, which took the pressure off of trying to get a large extended family (including elderly grandparetnts) to the US. It also worked nicely because my mom got to plan the US event the way she wanted, and my mother-in-law got to do what she wanted in the UK. And my husband and I just let them run with it!

Edited to Add: One of the hits of our UK reception, was that we had photos of our NY wedding blown up and hung up around the room.

We don't have to worry about visas since I've lived here for 6+ years on a work permit, and since most of our friends and his family are here, we opted to hold our ceremony and reception here in the UK (with my immediate family and Man of Honour coming over), with a smaller reception in the US a week later (which his immediate family are going over for, more as an excuse for a holiday than anything else). The US one will strictly be a reception - we'll wear our nice duds and have a cake, but we won't re-enact any vows or anything as that just seems cheesy to us.

It's still 10 months away so it's too early to say if it's the right choice or not, but it is certainly making my life easier just allowing my mom to take care of the US reception while we deal with the UK side of things!

I don't have a large family or friend network back in the US, so that made things slightly less complicated.

We wound up having a small, private wedding (18 guests) in Scotland - this meant that BOTH families had to travel a little bit (since his family is from the Home Counties), which we felt was 'fairer' and made for neutral turf .  My extended family that couldn't come didn't feel so left out since the guest was miniscule anyway.

But of course, you have to do what's right for your own situations and circumstances.  Some people wouldn't dream of having that small of a wedding, but we really wanted to keep things fun and small.

We're having the actual wedding in Seattle (in less than two weeks!) and then a party in Glasgow for the local folks who can't make the trip...probably sometime in January.  The thing is, we haven't even begun to think about the (MUCH smaller) January party, but people keep pestering us for details about that.  So that's a bit frustrating.  But they'll both be great events, I'm sure.   Good luck picking a spot for yours!

We had a small-ish wedding in my family's church in US (having it other than a church would have shocked his parents)  He had only his mother and father come.  His friend he asked to be best man couldn't make it so he had to ask an American colleague who happened to be in the US at the time anyway.  Very small reception in the church parlor.  I had to make a fruit cake as the cake my grandma got was a white cake and not "traditional" by British standards!  No celebration when we got back to the UK 

Thanks everyone for the advice and suggestions!  At the moment we're leaning toward having the ceremony & reception in Italy, and everyone will just have to make their way there as best they can.  Of course, we've only been engaged for about 2 weeks, so we're very early in the process.

Thanks again!

Carl

p.s. Anyone else who wants to chime in, please feel free. 

We had ours in Texas, with only a few of my family members.  No party or anything in the UK.  His parents were pretty upset that their son had met some American on the internet and was getting married in America, so we decided to keep a low profile and do what we wanted to do. 

Just do what the two of you want to do, don't worry too much about pleasing everyone.   

I don't have a large family or friend network back in the US, so that made things slightly less complicated.

I'm the same. Our wedding is in June and it's going to be in Wales, where most of my family and friends live. My fiance has a very small contingency of Cornish family and friends, so it's not such a big deal for them to travel up to Wales. The only people I have in the US are my father and stepmother, and a few very close friends who are being really lovely and making the big trip over.