Regretting Repatriation

I'm in Michigan right now.

I'm from Michigan and he's from North Yorks.  We've been married for about 2.5 years and lived in Manchester, UK straight off the bat.  I left the UK on 08 May. I have my full ILR (still valid as of this point) and was hoping to get my citizenship soonish but it didn't work out with our plan that I'm now really regretting!

I had a stable job and he is finishing his PhD.  Since we're wanting to have kids in probably the next 3-4 years, we got it into our heads that moving back to the US would be a "now or never" senario. You know like get jobs, eventually settle and buy a house, etc.  So we've decided that I would move back early May, find a job, finish my requirements to take the CPA exam and set up shop.  He then was going to move back when he's done with his PhD Jan 2010 and we will see each other in-between. I'm living with my parents right now trying to find a job and sitting here COMPLETELY REGRETTING IT!!! And it's not just because I'm with my parents - they've been wonderful which is why I'm feeling even more guilty!  I don't feel at home at all here anymore and it is SO EXHAUSTING trying to keep up with everyone!  I know for a fact that I could go back to the UK right now and find some kind of a job (I was looking to switch jobs before I left and was talking to recruiters, etc). 

So I've been here four weeks and like I said my family has been more than supportive.  They are so happy we're planning on moving back and I would feel SOOO GUILTY telling them I've changed my mind.  I'm just regretting it so much right now I want to hop on a plane and go back. I feel like the UK offers a better way of life in terms of quality. 

Anyone else have thoughts?  I'm trying not to do anything brash but I'm totally homesick for the UK!!  

I don't know what to say Lynzie, but I wanted to send you a hug because I well remember how difficult it was when my husband and I were in transition between the US and UK (with all the accompanying stresses) and living with an ocean between us.  Good luck in working out what is best for you and your husband. 

It must be so hard to be separated and the stress of trying to get settled and find a job.  You haven't been back in the US for all that long so give yourself a break and some time to breathe.  Remember the reasons why you decided to give it a go in the US and then see if they still apply, but not right away because these things are always so stressful. 

Thanks Tin and bookgirl - nice to know there's people out there who understand!  It's really hard to explain to someone how it feels who hasn't been in a similar situation.

I'm feeling a bit better now.  I thought it would be so much easier than it has been the past four weeks but it's really difficult coming back.  I think it's making it all that much worse because I don't have DH here so I feel really unsettled which leads to the insecurity which leads to the homesickness.  I'm trying to tell myself all this and that it can only get better.  After all I am supposed to be "HOME!"  Just doesn't feel like it yet..... 

I think I only take about 40% of my emotions seriously on any one day.   Lord above, I have cried on public transportation here and been all stupidly weepy.    

I hope it gets easier Lynzie!  Please let us know how it goes. 

If it were possible I would pack my bags and leave right this second. The only way for my husband and I to be together was for me to move to the UK. I was naive and really did not do my homework when making that decision.

So off I went and now I felt my life was so much better in the U.S. I still do. We plan on going through that grueling process of going back in about 5 years but I am afraid for everyone. I feel soon anyone who meets and falls in love who are from different countries are going to find it difficult if not impossible to be together. With all the scares and so many countries wanting to close down borders I believe free movement will come to an abrupt end. People will not be moving from one country to another without it literally destroying the family unit completely.

I find the most difficult thing here is the huge lack of respect for each other. Employees are paid poorly and treated very poorly here. If you are lucky enough to just find a job at all.

Yes we pay dearly for health care in the U.S. but I found it to be much more humane than here. I learned that I am willing to pay for that proper service again.

I find it so sad that here they can't see that providing horrible customer service is draining to all. Again the lack of mutual respect is the biggest downside here in my opinion. So on that note I dream of the day I will go home and be normal again. Visiting is lovely here but to live here well you really need to be prepared. Again only based on my own experience.

I know I will not regret going back home in the future.

Although many people ask me was it worth it? That was a very big price to pay to be with my husband and had I had a clue how I would feel I would not do it again. Finding someone in my own country to be with would have been easier. But no one said life was easy either.

It's shocking that your experiences are a dead ringer to mine! Have got to chat with you please. Here again, I am in total agreement with what you say here and am in total respect, because I am also in the same boat. I regret every day. like you if I had known then what I know now, I would have not thrown away my life.  :\\\'(