Worried Sick

I just got back from the doctor, I have officially developed anxiety.  All this missing my fiance, visa stress of getting things together, working two jobs to save for the visa...and us fighting over meaningless things..has driven me crazy. Sometimes I just cant stop crying, cause I miss him so much and want this to just be settled already.  Long Distance relationships are so hard, and it doesnt help when you fight...and cant just look the other person in the eye and be like "I love you, just stop it".  I just really hope in 3 weeks my fiance visa is approved, so I can have something positive.  Lately things have just been alot to handle, and Im ready to get over this hump.  Thanks for letting me vent! 

First off, ***hugs*** I've been there and I know what you're going through and it sucks. No way around it.  Take a deep breath and try to relax. I know it's impossible, but hey, you have to say it right?  Sorry, not being funny. I know it didn't help me either when the folks around me would tell me to just chill out about things or try not to worry.  I worried, constantly.  Long distance relationships are one of the hardest things you can do.  Add to that, the problems encountered with an international move, getting married, the financial strain and it can all really be too much. 

The only advice I can give is to try and break things down to one thing at a time.  No matter what, don't let yourself worry about more than one thing at a time.  It took me a bit to get the hang of that, but it does help.  If you can break it down that way and just focus your worry on one problem at a time, it helps to keep it from being so overwhelming.

As far as fighting long distance, that bites too.  Hubby and I fought terribly for a bit before the move and it was over silly little things that just spun out of control into huge arguments leaving us both feeling unsure and hurt.  Just because you're not face to face doesn't mean that you can't just say "I love you, just stop it".  You might just have to be more creative to get your point across.  Just remind your fiance and yourself that all the stress is happening so you two can be together.  Don't let the stress ruin the end result you're going through all the stress for!

Hope it gets better.   

Thanks tristessa, I think its been the fighting that has pushed me over the edge.  I was handling the whole visa, and missing him situation..or at least it was bearable.  Then we just started having these silly fights and it just was the straw that broke the camels back so to say.  I know we will make it through this, and I keep telling him things wont be this way forever, and that once im there..our arguments wont be so frequent.  Ive never experienced a long distance relationship before, and neither has he..so its new for the both of us. 

At times though, it just becomes so overwhelming...so at least now in those situations where my mind is running away with me, I will have some medicine to calm me if I need it.  We both love eachother very much, and think since we are getting closer to the move the stress is just piling high.  Cause we are on a very strict timeline now, where as before it was just..whens the next visit?  Now, its I have 3 weeks till I apply for the visa..do you have this, send me that, dont procrastinate.  I feel like im hounding him sometimes, but I just dont want anything to not be thought of.  And I guess its a typical woman thing to take charge in a situation like this lol. 

I know exactly what you mean about the fighting...and how it makes things so much worse.  I don't deal with stress all that well but my hubby is EXTREMELY horrible at it.  Even though our visas were approved, he's been stressed about trying to find a house and preparing for us to be there...plus he's been having a bad time at work with negotiating contracts and a possible strike in the workings.  The other day we got into a huge argument over a tattoo (long story).  Yeah it's not fun...but I love my hubby to death and unfortunately, he is never going to be good at dealing with stress...so I know this is something I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life.  And I'm ok with that.  Just keep your eye on the prize and your chin up.  Remember how much you love each other and why you're going through all this stress to begin with.

 

Sorry you're so stressed, Erika! LDRs suck big time. Working extra and everything just add fuel to the fire. Just remember it's temporary!

And if that's your fiance in your picture there, hubba hubba! Definitely keep your eyes on that prize.

Hugs to you!

Yes that is him in the picture lol..he is a hottie! lol.  I just dont know what the deal is lately, I just hate arguing.  I have never been one of those people who likes to argue, I would much rather just calm down and deal with it later.  But in this LDR its like impossible to do that, cause I all we have is communication right now.  I sincerely hope things turn the corner once this whole visa process is over. After that is approved, im going to be so busy I wont have time for much but preparing to move. 

I seriously do not know what I would do if I didnt have this place to vent, I would of been bald from pulling my hair out or something   

Thanks tristessa, I think its been the fighting that has pushed me over the edge.  I was handling the whole visa, and missing him situation..or at least it was bearable.  Then we just started having these silly fights and it just was the straw that broke the camels back so to say.  I know we will make it through this, and I keep telling him things wont be this way forever, and that once im there..our arguments wont be so frequent.  Ive never experienced a long distance relationship before, and neither has he..so its new for the both of us. 

At times though, it just becomes so overwhelming...so at least now in those situations where my mind is running away with me, I will have some medicine to calm me if I need it.  We both love eachother very much, and think since we are getting closer to the move the stress is just piling high.  Cause we are on a very strict timeline now, where as before it was just..whens the next visit?  Now, its I have 3 weeks till I apply for the visa..do you have this, send me that, dont procrastinate.  I feel like im hounding him sometimes, but I just dont want anything to not be thought of.  And I guess its a typical woman thing to take charge in a situation like this lol. 

I think I am correct in saying you only met him in the Spring and got engaged in the summer after a whirlwind visit?  Perhaps things are going at too quick a pace for your fiance and you and this is why you're suffering the results with lots of arguing and bickering.  It seems such a shame that you have to result to medicine to control this situation.  LDRs can be completely consuming and over dramatic but eventually you're going to be sat side by side with no drama and the opportunity to really get to know your future husband. Hope it all goes well but being a few years older than you I can say that rushing is never the best of ideas for relationships. The very best of luck.