Adoption

Greetings all--

I'm just wondering if anyone has had experience with adoption in the UK.  I know that the Brit government does not allow an American couple (or any other non-Brit couple) to adopt a Brit babe and move it to a different country, and I know that adoptions are different in MANY other ways in the UK vs the USA (the fee system, background checks etc).  Here's my question though:

If a couple (one American one Brit) were to adopt a Brit baby while living in Scotland then wanted to move to America for a while, would that be allowed?

Just a small disclaimer, NO, I am not looking to adopt in the next short while.  It's just that we can not have children of our own and may think about the possibility of thinking about the posibility of adopting at some point.  I just don't want to say "yeah, we are going to adopt one day" then find out (when we are ready and have our hopes up) that it is not posible.

Hope this makes sence....

oooh, i love this topic!  thank you!

we have talked about adopting a brit child (one american and one brit) when we are living in the states after our london stint.....i am curious to see what people say!

i've done a little reading on it....but am curious...

I can't help much with adoption, although the government has been saying its trying to make it easier I believe its still very difficult.However,have you considered long term fostering?,much easier and pretty much the same result.

Dave.

Sorry I'm off track,but we need as many foster carers as we can get.

The problem with fostering (even long term) is that you can't just up and move to one country or the other.  We don't want to live the rest of our lives in one country...will want to have the option of living in each for a few years at a time. 

The one thing with adoption (if we were to do it) is that we would want an older "baby"--2-6 years old.  I also know that long-term foster care can have terrible heart aches if for one reason or another the child is removed from the home (I've seen it happen for a varriety of reasons).  Nope.  If we get a kid, we want to know that we have that kid in our lives for now and for always.

I know it sounds corny, but my thoughts are that everyone wants the infant children, so the older ones end up "unloved" and "in the system" for indeffinate periods of time.  I've always been one to root for the "underdog"... 

I know it sounds corny, but my thoughts are that everyone wants the infant children, so the older ones end up "unloved" and "in the system" for indeffinate periods of time.  I've always been one to root for the "underdog"... 

You and i would be great friends.  my thoughts EXACTLY.  I would want from 2-6 as well for the SAME reason.

The problem with fostering (even long term) is that you can't just up and move to one country or the other.  We don't want to live the rest of our lives in one country...will want to have the option of living in each for a few years at a time.  

Good point,of course fostering would pose problems.

The one thing with adoption (if we were to do it) is that we would want an older "baby"--2-6 years old

This hopefully may make life a little easier,We considered adopting years ago,and I do recall several agencies who used to send us lists of children,but for the life of me I can't remember who the agencies were.Maybe a web search may help.Anyway best of luck.

Dave

Great topic!  I am passionate about adoption.  We brought home a 3 year-old from Korea 8 months ago.  I have wanted for years to adopt an older child.  We had already adopted an infant from Korea a year and a half earlier.  It is a wonderful way to build a family!  We love our kids very much. 

There are so many resources now, that make the transition easier.  The internet, books, agencies, other adoptive families online...without all that, this would have been even more difficult.

One thing to remember with older child adoptions:  it takes a while to truly feel attached to the child, and that is normal.  If you've had friends over who have children, and they messed with your stuff or pulled your dog's tail, it gives you about the same feeling.  They don't FEEL like yours for a while.  So if you go into it with low expectations about the time it takes to FEEL the love, it is better. And it does come!  Love, after all, is a choice, no matter what the movies say.  ;-) 

One thing to remember with older child adoptions:  it takes a while to truly feel attached to the child, and that is normal.  If you've had friends over who have children, and they messed with your stuff or pulled your dog's tail, it gives you about the same feeling.  They don't FEEL like yours for a while.  So if you go into it with low expectations about the time it takes to FEEL the love, it is better. And it does come!  Love, after all, is a choice, no matter what the movies say.  ;-) 

I hope it is ok to post this here, as it is not about adoption per se, but I have been wondering about what it will be like for my fiance and my twins (just turned 4 this month) as we form a family. Will it one day seem like it has been all of us together since the beginning? We lived with him for a month...all went well...but I am sure it was like what you described with "another person's" children. I have told him many times that it will probably feel very similar to what adoptive parents go through since they are so young. Anyway, what you wrote about love made me feel better. I don't know any adoptive parents to talk to, and a few days ago I thought that I wished I did, so this thread came along at just the right time.

We're back to the UK next month...I just want them to feel comfortable, and for him to also...'cause I love all three of them!

My children were 7 and 12 when they first met my husband - the photos we took on the first day all three of us were together look like we've been a family all along.  They were 8 and 14 when we made the move and quite honestly, there has never been a day when anyone has questioned whether we're a *family* or not.  Except for the accents, I don't think anyone would question whether Phil was their father at all.  They both look a lot like me, but strangely enough they share serious personality traits with Phil as well.  I know I'm very lucky - Phil has even lamented missing out on the early times with the kids.

As well, his parents and brother have taken to the boys as if they've just always been related, simply living in two different countries!  Again, I know I'm lucky.  A lot of "blended" families don't work out as well.  But keep the faith!

I am new to this board, so hope you don't mind me butting in.  I will have to go introduce myself on the intro board too.

However... DH is UKC I am USC... we are currently in the USA and planning to move to the UK.  We are at least a year away from the move but are planning and preparing.  We have been TTC for 7 months and since I am 36 we are currently getting some assistance.  However, we have always wanted to adopt.  I looked into adoption in the UK... and here is what I learned.

1) Have to be stable and in the same place for at least 2 years.
2) If one parent is not a UKC, then you must be married for at least 2 years and possibly longer depending on age.  Must have IRL.

I did not see anything about not being able to leave the country for another country with your child once the adoption is final.  I have a really good link about UK adoption that I will be happy to post when I dig it out.  It was very helpful.

Heck, I am researching adoption through the state system here in states, and trying to find out if an adopted child will be entitled to dual citizenship, just like a bio child will.  Anyone know?

Adoption is wonderful and we can't wait to be parents!

Best,
Christine