Here's hoping we're making the right decision ....

So I just found out today that DH's and my references have cleared so we'll be signing the lease on our own flat on the 1st of February.  There are lots of reasons why this is good, not the least of which being that we'll finally be able to move out of his parents' house after more than a year of living with them.  I was really determined that we should move as soon as possible this year, because my ILR is looming and I already have some major hurdles to overcome (entered via Dublin, so no stamp to prove my original entry; 6 months living away from DH during the week so I could work in another city) so I wanted to be sure that we had the required proof of cohabitation and of supporting ourselves for as long as possible.  Plus, the flat is lovely, newly refurbished, small but with generously proportioned rooms and a little garden, in a quiet neighbourhood of a nice town, and in the lowest council tax band.  AND I can commute with one of my co-workers or on the train, so no more renting a room during the week and only seeing DH on weekends.   

So what's my problem?  I should be happy, right?  Well, first of all, the flat is unfurnished, so we have to buy a lot of stuff in addition to making the deposit and first month's rent.  I mean basic stuff like a refrigerator and a bed.  This wouldn't be so bad except I won't be working steadily for at least another two or three months.  So we have to get by on DH's salary and the odd week or two that my school needs me for until May.  That means that we don't have any money for extra anything.  Neither DH nor I is any good at frugality, so living simply is going to be a challenge for us.  Some friends of ours are getting married in Hawaii next October, the day after our anniversary, so we'd really like to go and celebrate our wedding as well as theirs, but it's looking more and more like we just won't be able to afford it and that makes me sad.  Then there's the cost of ILR.... Right this minute, in my bank account, is enough money to pay for a postal ILR at the current rates.  Every single penny of it is going to have to go towards this move.  I find myself opening my internet bank statement and just looking at it, thinking how nice it would be if I didn't have to spend that money, so I would be sure that it would be there to pay for my ILR in November.  I'm so worried that we'll have to put the ILR on the credit card, and then how long will it take to pay that off?  Particularly if they raise the fee through the roof?  Last year at this time what with our wedding and my visa and then Christmas nearly all at once, DH was living out of his overdraft, overusing the credit card and only paying the minimum each month, and I wasn't earning.  Since then, we've gotten a bank loan to consolidate the debt and make it manageable, DH hasn't touched his overdraft but has stayed well in the black, if the credit card has been used, it's been paid off in a month or two, and I've built up my savings.  I am terrified that we've bitten off more than we can chew with this move, and that we'll lose control of our finances again and won't be able to bail ourselves out.  But if we keep living with DH's parents, I fear that my chances for ILR will be slim.  There's no work in the area, and I don't drive, but I can't keep living away from DH during the week, or UKBA will think that I only married him so that I could work in the UK.  So I think that moving out is the best thing to do, I just can't help worrying and wondering how we'll manage these next few months. 

Anyway.  Thanks for reading my long and rambling post             

Do you like camping?    You could treat it as an extended adventure camping trip - the unfurnished place.

When DH and I moved into our house (5 years ago), we didn't have a stick of furniture between us.  We slept on an air mattress for several weeks & a friend loaned us a couple of dining table chairs to use, plus we had pillows & blankets, etc (and his very old TV & stereo). 

Maybe you can find a small mini-fridge for not too much money?  Or maybe try looking for stuff on Freagle (Free Cycle)?

Good luck!

Carolyn's right - Think of it as an adventure! After all, what else can you do?   

Start going to car boot sales and auctions - you'd be surprised at the amazing deals you can get on furniture. And Free Cycle for appliances, definitely! Or do your husband's parents have any extra bits and pieces you could borrow until you get your own?

The good thing is that you'll be out of your in-laws' house! To me, that would make up for everything! 

We've always lived in furnished flats, and just moved into an unfurnished one. We've managed to get quite a bit off of family members. Just by putting the word out to my husband's extended family we've gotten two sofas and a bedroom set that people were replacing. Granted we'll be replacing some of it, but it's definitely saved us some money up front.

I agree with the others! Just go for it! It's always rough at first. DH and I didn't have any furniture either when I moved in. We sat on the floor for the first few months. We ended up getting a sofa and chair on credit and we just pay a small amount each month until its paid off. It's another bill, but at least we have somewhere to sit! And if you have to use your credit card for a few things, as long as you don't get out of control with it, I'm sure you will be able to make payments until its paid off. I know that's not ideal, but we had to do the same and we are now paying off the card, so it's worked out ok. Of course, there is a lot to consider, and maybe a trip to Hawaii isn't on the cards with your ILR coming up (we can't take any holidays this year since we have to pay for mine) but there will be other trips in the future, of course. It sounds like the positives outweigh the negatives here, so just put a smile on and try not to worry too much because it sounds like having your own place will be so great! I'm sure it's worth being frugal for a while until you start earning more money in a few months so you can live on your own and get to spend more time together! Congrats on your new place! 

Yeah, I'm going to say - you'll be surprised by what friends and family mysteriously have to spare!  We got a lot of bits and bobs off of my in-laws when we moved in here, and before that, my entire flat in the States was furnished by co-workers, to include a king-sized bed! 

Anyways, best of luck - it will totally work out for the awesome, 'cause erm.. positive thinking, yes!

Welcome to the world of being a grown up...sometimes we have to do things that are good for us that don't feel quite nice.

After our daughter was born DH & I had to cut WAY back on what we did...we stopped going out, I stopped having coffee (which for me was very difficult to do) out and started drinking instant made at home, DH gave up Pepsi and started drinking the cheapest diet lemonade he could find, DH drove to work & back and we basically did nothing outside of home unless it was taking a walk (not driving because then we'd use petrol & pay for parking) to the park and DH took his lunch to work and we managed to cut our weekly shop from £50/wk to £20/wk by buying nothing but cheap store brands and 'value' line foods...and it sucked.

But we made it through and we're better off for it. We had savings to use in an emergency but we managed not to touch it except for a car repair that had to be done. We were forced to be frugal because we had no choice, we have no family here that we could depend on to take care of things that we needed.  And now that the rough patch is over, we find that we've kept a few of those habits that we resorted to...and we actually end up with extra £100-200 left over each month so that we can do those fun things again.

Have you also thought about taking a part time temporary job at a shop or somewhere so you can have an income that is steady and reliable whilst you wait for something better to come along? So you don't have to be as 'frugal' and be able to furnish without resorting to credit?

I've always been the sort who took that Oscar Wilde quote about only boring people with no imagination living within their means a bit too much to heart. 

I've gotten a lot better now we have kids, but before that . . .

Thanks for the advice, everyone.  WHW, I used to live by that quote as well.  DH and I both tend to be extravagant, which makes it doubly hard to tell ourselves "no."  Things are looking a bit better, though.  There's a fair chance I'll have work for most of February, one of my colleagues is giving us her old sofas, the in-laws are giving us their old TV, there are nice bed frames on e-bay, and inexpensive mattresses at Tesco.  So at least we'll have places to sit and sleep, and a bit of breathing room financially, though we'll still need to be frugal.  I don't mind living simply if I feel like I'm working towards something, and if I can have an occasional treat.  But I've been in situations before where I was desperately broke and struggling just to fill my stomach, and the idea of being in that situation again frankly terrifies me.  But I think we'll be OK. 

We're moving on Monday!     

Good luck with the move and just remember although it may feel a bit rough in the beginning you will feel so much better being in YOUR own home. 

Enjoy your new place, historyenne! I'm sure it will be great! 

I'm happy for you historyenne...good luck with the new place! We'll be over in 9 days beginning the search ourselves so glad to hear it worked out!