Feeling like a child

Well DH is home for a shorter period due to ash and this time I am feeling very selfish and childish.

I havent said anything as I am decided the best way to state it without coming off like a complete lunatic.  I am sure once I type it out as well I might see clearer.

Here we go...
DH got home Thursday morning and 1st day home is always a waste as he is super tired and wants a beer so we ended up at the pub.
Friday - Monday AM we had both kids (Sat we did go out to pub for a do)
Monday night - suppose to be date night but the movie we wanted wasnt playing so we stayed home to watch Glee
Tuesday - out with friends
Tonight Wed-Fri AM - Kids
Fri night - out with everyone
Sat night - couple night at a friends
Sunday - BBQ or bike riding with the kids
Monday - he leaves

Dh has gone to his moms to take care of her bits - painting ect..
Gone to dads to bring plants ect.
Taking the kids and niece to the beach and they go on rides - we watch

So I feel like a child and want to say what about me? us? Everything is about everyone else and I want you to fit me in..Is this so selfish? Its about MIL,FIL,kids but where am I?

I am not sure how to say this without coming off like its all me me me me which is NOT me but I want us to do something as US

Any ideas? am I totally crazy?

Also I am now working on my laptop upstairs in bed b/c he decided he wanted to paint where my computer is and I need to work lol gotta love the OCD

Awww, it's not selfish at all. That's a pretty tight schedule. And being that he is away a lot, of course he has to spread his attentions around to his children, family, and friends, but you are also his family and it is important that the two of you have some time alone together. Why not ask if you can cancel your plans with friends on either Friday or Saturday night so that the two of you can have a date or spend some alone time together at home? I mean, you are alone for 2 weeks out of every month, and you are a strong independent woman who keeps herself busy as much as possible, but you still need a little TLC, and I dare say, many others would be far more clingy and whiney in the same situation. I think you are very understanding about it all! So, just show some leg and tell him you need some alone time and I bet he will rearrange some plans ASAP.

Ha you are too funny...

It wont happen - Friday is the first night out with friends since 3 weeks ago and this has been planned as its all of us.  Saturday has been planned for a month now since we did everyone here <sigh>

At least I know I am not crazy and yes trust me I dont want to be clingy but I dont want to stomp my foot and say what about me ;-)

I will have to say Sunday is our day/night since he leaves Monday - now to find something to do!

You're not the only one Jenn...

My husband works long hours 60+ a week and commutes up to 3 hours each day (and we only live 12 miles from where he works!) so when he gets home our 2 year old is his first priority and by the time she's in bed he just tries to zone out and usually ends up playing RCT3 with the expansion packs. Of course all I want to do is have adult human interaction after being with a 2 year old all day long and I'm teetering on exhaustion as well.

On his days off (when he gets one here or there) Sunday's are spent at his Mum's and then taking DD out to the park or a playcentre and we have the occaisional lunch out. If he manages to get a day off in the week, because I don't drive & I have the munchkin all the time, we usually end up going grocery shopping and any errands that need to be done. Plus he tries to get caught up on some sleep too.

I feel like I never get to spend any quality time with him anymore and so yeah...I know how you feel.

I don't think you are being selfish in the slightest.  THat schedule would have me screaming.  I think it is super important to have one on one time with a spouse.  Two nights out of the month is not enough.

ETA: My BF and I were basically doing nothing together for a long stretch of time.  We would work like mad during the week and then veg all weekend.  We both needs alone time as well.  We came to find that we didn't really care about spending time together, as a result of just having this hectic work centred existance.  It was horrible.  We had to sit down and really talk about reprioritising.  We now plan our weekends and always have at least one outing together, even if it is a walk. It has made an amazing difference and we can't wait to spend time together.

That's not selfish at all!  My dh and I because our schedules are so opposite now and we have lots of plans with people, we have to steal time when we can.  In fact, this weekend just passed, we turned down a barbecue and a film because we just hadn't seen each other or been alone together and we made Sunday 'our' day.  Our friends are great, and we love them dearly, but we love each other a little more.  Maybe you could let him know, you want to do you two things on Sunday, so he doesn't make other plans and then you could spend your time together.  I think he should understand if you say that since your time together was shorter this time, you feel like you've hardly seen him.  Hope you two have fun on Sunday!  But please, no details if you go with Jewlz's plan.  

I will have to say Sunday is our day/night since he leaves Monday - now to find something to do!

I feel for you Jenn, since I feel this way often too and dont even have any kids in the mix.  Like Sara, we have started to plan things for JUST US to make sure we have some quality time together.   I recently found a website (that everyone may already know about, but its new to me) called www.wherecanwego.com.  You put in your postcode and it gives you things to do in your area - anything from dance classes, wine tastings, art exhibitions, local performances, village fairs, etc.

ETA: I did a search for you and you found a very unusual event that would totally creep me out, and is not romantic in the least but goes to show there are some unsual things out there!  You could do a "bat walk" and play the scared woman who needs protection from her man  Hamsterley Forest is an important home for a number of bat species, who have taken up residence in some of the older, gnarlier trees. Join us on a talk and guided walk to find these elusive flying mammals. Booking 01388 488312 Forestry Commission: 0845 3673787
Time:8.20pm-10.30pm   Meet:Hamsterley Visitor Centre

ETA: I did a search for you and you found a very unusual event that would totally creep me out, and is not romantic in the least but goes to show there are some unsual things out there!  You could do a "bat walk" and play the scared woman who needs protection from her man  Hamsterley Forest is an important home for a number of bat species, who have taken up residence in some of the older, gnarlier trees. Join us on a talk and guided walk to find these elusive flying mammals. Booking 01388 488312 Forestry Commission: 0845 3673787
Time:8.20pm-10.30pm   Meet:Hamsterley Visitor Centre

I would love that! What's wrong with me?! 

But please, no details if you go with Jewlz's plan.   

You can dish the details to me on gmail. 

Thank you thank you - so not alone

WebJ - not sure how you do it but I give you major props!

I dont mind the kids and I understand they are kids but yes we need some us time that is why they have babysitters.  I will have to label Sunday as US day ;-)

mirrajay - you are too funny - I will check that out as it may be fun to watch/do for S&G's

Its so hard to find something to do as I dont want to just go to pub as see I am trying to lose weight and drinking all the time doesn't help

Jewelz - yeah thats why they make Gchat

Its so hard to find something to do as I dont want to just go to pub as see I am trying to lose weight and drinking all the time doesn't help
 

Can you go for a walk in the country? Even if DH and I have nothing to do, we'll always go for a walk somewhere. Going for a walk on Sunday is one of my favorite things that I picked up when living in England. Plus, you don't feel so guilty stopping in a pub on the way home since you just walked!

I agree with Bmore_2_UK, a walk is a nice, simple, romantic thing you could do.  And it's easy to coordinate since you can just walk out the door whenever you have a little spare time    And it would give you guys some time to talk as well.

Don't feel bad for wanting to spend time with your husband!  That's not selfish at all.  It's definitely important to have some time to yourselves.  I agree with internet addict in that sometimes it's best to turn other invitations down just so the two of you can have some time alone.  Maybe if you explain all this to your husband, he'll get it.

Good luck!

Insult to injury - I am working and I am told they are having their "tea" now eggs and wedges - whatever its 5pm and I am working and I am not hungry!

So I will stay upstairs and work then I think I might need to take a drive

Well obviously we needed a good chat and life is back on track. Oh was I pissy yesterday and I did come downstairs about 615 and went for my own 30 minute walk and came back made my own dinner and relaxed.
The kids stayed up way to late - I didn't open my mouth they are his kids so he can say its bedtime.  We did talk this morning and he was quiet but I laid it out and he said what can I do to fix it or change it.  That was a good answer as I stated I need to be a priority and he said he feels as he has to please and see everyone and as I pointed out that I am the wife and here for the long haul and you need to make me happy as well ;-)

Sunday is out day I might drag him to Sex and the City LOL but we may go hit up Ruby Castle and grad lunch and movie night - Just US! YAY

Thanks guys for the words and support

Well obviously we needed a good chat and life is back on track. Oh was I pissy yesterday and I did come downstairs about 615 and went for my own 30 minute walk and came back made my own dinner and relaxed.
The kids stayed up way to late - I didn't open my mouth they are his kids so he can say its bedtime.  We did talk this morning and he was quiet but I laid it out and he said what can I do to fix it or change it.  That was a good answer as I stated I need to be a priority and he said he feels as he has to please and see everyone and as I pointed out that I am the wife and here for the long haul and you need to make me happy as well ;-)

Sunday is out day I might drag him to Sex and the City LOL but we may go hit up Ruby Castle and grad lunch and movie night - Just US! YAY

Thanks guys for the words and support

That sounds very positive! Have a great weekend! 

Well obviously we needed a good chat and life is back on track. Oh was I pissy yesterday and I did come downstairs about 615 and went for my own 30 minute walk and came back made my own dinner and relaxed.
The kids stayed up way to late - I didn't open my mouth they are his kids so he can say its bedtime.  We did talk this morning and he was quiet but I laid it out and he said what can I do to fix it or change it.  That was a good answer as I stated I need to be a priority and he said he feels as he has to please and see everyone and as I pointed out that I am the wife and here for the long haul and you need to make me happy as well ;-)

Sunday is out day I might drag him to Sex and the City LOL but we may go hit up Ruby Castle and grad lunch and movie night - Just US! YAY

Thanks guys for the words and support

I'm a little late on this, but I'm glad you were able to let him know that quality time together is really valuable to you and you were able to reprioritise time together. It's so important to the quality of a relationship, IME.

Have fun!