the stress of long distance

Two weeks is a long time to without much communication. I don't mean to be negative and I understand he hates to tak on the phone, but to not even email or text you? That doesn't sound very promising. OR maybe the realization that long distance relationships are hard work and require a bit more attention and communication along with missing you has left him a bit overwhelmed. Whatever it is I really hope this works out for you. You seem to be ready and willing to give this relationship your all and it's only fair that he meets you halfway and if he doesn't then he can at least man up and end it properly instead of just stringing you along ya know?

I'm in Texas too! I thought you might be from Texas when you sai y'all haha! Of course we aren't the only ones that say it,but it was the first state that popped into my head 

There are lots of Texas folks on here as I have come to understand ;-)
I was from Austin!

hang in there - some things are worth fighting for and the distance doesn't help.  Text. Talk. Email do what you need to do to feel secure and get the communication you need.
Only piece of advice - dont point the finger.
Example: YOU never talk to me TRY: I feel we don't talk as much and I miss that...
Always better to use the I "feel" and get away from the YOU never or YOU always. It has taken me years to perfect those type of expressions of feelings ;-)

Hi Mmanda,

I think a lot of us were in similar situations at one point. That pesky ol' ocean issue! My husband and I battled it for over 2 years and still battling.. waiting on my spousal visa now.

I will tell you that in the beginning, I was a mess. I was totally insecure. I put him through some pretty brutal and emotional chats on the phone, poor guy. When I look back at them, I'm actually embarrassed because I was so desperately looking for him to validate things. To tell me the impossible really; that "our relationship would stand the distance and we'd make it" because ultimately, I was scared out of my mind! I had this strange "out of body" experience (so to speak) and heard myself one day... I realized I was being so hard on him for my own stupid reasons and from that point on, I really tried to work through what I was really feeling vs. the drilling I would inevitably make him endure.

I think what I was always looking for in our chats or emails was some sort of connection with him. To be reminded of what we are. We had a really open discussion about that and decided on certain things. It was important for us to connect in some way on daily basis. Whether it was a text, or an email, or a phone call. We even set simultaneous daily alarms on our cellphones so that in that moment, we would know we were thinking of the other. That way if we couldn't manage to talk or email, we'd at least have that. Eventually, we became stronger and the progress sort of took it's own path. Now we can't go a day without texting several times and always speak for an hour or more on the phone. Plus we still have our alarms We send each other things through the post too.. little care packages, a cd, or even just a card. You can actually get really creative and it always means a lot!

**quick edit - I should also add that we alternated visiting one another about every 8-10 weeks. That was HUGE! Without the physical connection and at least sometimes feeling like a normal couple, I can't be sure what would've happened. And let's be honest, the good-byes are horrible... but you can't beat those passionate reunions either

If you can get through this weird, initial shock of being apart hump, I bet you can make it work. But you both have to be willing to do the work! That's all the difference in the world. Best of luck!

Well... it has took me so long to update because honestly i didn't want to update with the news i had. We broke up. We broke up weeks ago and it sucks. It is okay... I am okay... It was hard at first. I spent the first couple of days crying and mad. I won't go into details but I have serious issues with the way the break up occurred.

 The weird thing is... something deep down inside of me tells me we are not completely done. I dunno... It's just this little voice and it says... yes ya'll broke up...and yes it sucks right now but this will actually turn out to be a good thing for ya'll in the long run.  *shrugs* weird i guess...  Actually it's not weird lol cause I am a prayer and everytime i pray this is what the voice tells me.

anyway school is starting back so i will have things to do to take my mind off it and just in general move on. Even though i do think we will come together again i am not one to sit around twiddling my thumbs waiting on it. .... It is strange I find myself in a place of moving on yet..having faith in the future... if that makes any sense at all...


anyway i just wanted to thank yall for the advice... if something does or does not change i will keep you updated

Awww hun.  Hugs to you. You never know..things may still work out in the long run. Until then, you're right to move on and not twiddle your thumbs.  Good luck to you!

Steph

I'm sorry nmanda.  I hope you feel better soon.