i know there have been other posts like this, but i still wanted to share my experience.
( sorry, i posted this without finishing it the first time
)
my fiancee and i have been planning to get married this upcoming december when he visits, but i'm starting to feel like the countdown to one of the happiest days of my life is turning into a countdown to d-day.
right now, my six year old son and i live with my mother. i've been with my mom for, almost, 24 years now and my son has been here his whole life thus far. we've only moved out once for 6 months under very different circumstances. now i've been trying to reassure my mom about everything. that this will be good for my son and we'll be all right over there. i don't expect it to be rainbows and sunshine the whole way through, but i don't expect it to be a horrible experience. it couldn't really be that bad, right? there are a lot of pros as opposed to cons of us going over there, but it seems my mother just isn't having it. she seems to think that this will be goodbye forever and it's not like that at all. although it'll be different, we'll still be able to talk to her and see her everyday with skype and phone calls. we'll, also, do as many visits as we can, but she's still got this very defeatist attitude. like, this is it and there's no coming back. i'm not sure what to do to properly handle this. if she's not listening to me or willing to talk about it, i doubt she'll be much more willing when my fiancee comes over and tries to reassure her.
i don't want my mom to feel like this is goodbye forever, but i don't want her to hold out hope that it'll end right off the bat and we'll be on the next plane back either. i'm not sure what to do that could ease the process and lessen the hurt for her. i understand that it's going to hurt her in a different way that it's going to hurt us, but she's telling me that i have to live my own life! i'm just so drained by all of this and it's still months away. i can understand that it's partially up to time to tell, but we're planning on being over in england by next summer. i've been trying to highlight some of the things my mom will be able to do that she couldn't really do before without working on my schedule. she just seems to say that she could have done it anyway and why couldn't i have met someone closer? she wants me to live my life, but i feel guilty at the thought of actually going out and doing it. i don't want my mom to be angry or upset and feel like we're never going to see her again, but i want her to know that we can't spend our lives here either.
