When you came to the UK, you knew you were "home"

I can remember back to my childhood my mother always saying she felt she'd come home when she moved to the US.  She was 19 and has now lived in Wisconsin (and a few years in Pennsylvania) for more than 50 years!

My first trip as an adult to the UK back when I was 18?  I knew I was home...took me a long time to get here, but this is home, even though I will probably re-locate back to the US in a couple of years, for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with living in the UK.  I fear having to make the adjustment back, but it's what I plan to do, and I feel like I'll be tearing a part of myself out to leave this place.

Others obviously have different experiences...

I spent my entire childhood moving from state to state in the US, so I've always had an uncertain relationship with "home" anyway.  I first came to the UK when I was 14, and liked it well enough, but didn't really think of the possibility of living here.

I came back in 2002 for a visit, and remember thinking how much "foreignness" there was in all the little details of life (oddly-shaped plugs, houses with old temperamental cookers, dryers not being standard in homes, etc.) and thought it was just as well that I lived in the US, since I wouldn't ever really get used to these little details of life in the UK.  A year later I was starting a master's course at Oxford, and three years after that I was marrying a Brit and buying a house here.  Go figure.  Now, another two years have passed and we are probably about to up sticks and move to Switzerland, which is another nice place that doesn't much feel like home.

I don't have a strong desire to move back to the US now, although my husband certainly does, and I would agree to it if the right opportunity presented itself.  Even so, there are days when I feel like nowhere else will really seem like "home".

I was born and raised in the UK, then moved to the States 10 years ago. I like it here a great deal, but I'm not sure it feels like home to me. I think a place can be objectively 'better' in many ways (lower cost of living, less crowded, better weather) and have a whole host of other attractions (low crime, safe for kids, friendly people, etc.) and yet still never become 'home.'  I fear at this point I may be forever in the position of missing the place where I am not (i.e. if I move my family to the UK, I will then get all misty-eyed and nostalgic for where I live now in the US)

It's a tough one.

I fear at this point I may be forever in the position of missing the place where I am not (i.e. if I move my family to the UK, I will then get all misty-eyed and nostalgic for where I live now in the US)

It's a tough one.

Join the club! You're definitely not alone in feeling that way. I've been struggling with this for the past 10 years. We've moved back and forth a few times now, and I'm sure our latest move won't be the last. 

I've spent years and traveled all over the world looking for that immediate sense of belonging and never found it, though there are many places that I love.  I've finally accepted that it won't happen.  I'm very fond of the UK, and think I can build a life here, but that's the extent of it. 

I was born and raised in the UK, then moved to the States 10 years ago. I like it here a great deal, but I'm not sure it feels like home to me. I think a place can be objectively 'better' in many ways (lower cost of living, less crowded, better weather) and have a whole host of other attractions (low crime, safe for kids, friendly people, etc.) and yet still never become 'home.'  I fear at this point I may be forever in the position of missing the place where I am not (i.e. if I move my family to the UK, I will then get all misty-eyed and nostalgic for where I live now in the US)

It's a tough one.

So you have been back about a little less than 12 months. How do you feel about things now?

The first time I came to the UK (to live) back in the '70's I felt instantly at home.  There was something that reminded me of a simpler, less hassled US, as when I was growing up. I don't think that would be as true today, as the Americanization of Everywhere has been growing on apace.
I think though that once you have lived somewhere that place is always part of you.

I have to say that this has happened to me. I was surprised, I'd always felt "at home" here in the US, and when I decided to go to the UK for school I was extremely nervous. But honestly, the instant I left the airport, was seeing all the sites and everything I felt like that was where I should be, and now that I'm back home in the U.S I miss the UK so much. It's hard cause I feel like my life should be there now.

So you have been back about a little less than 12 months. How do you feel about things now?

Hm. Well the first few months in the UK were really hard, and then things began to settle into place (little things like getting jobs, finding a school place, etc.) I feel like I might be on some sort of cusp, after which things might begin to feel a little less bleak. Not sure if it will ever reach the point where I feel ready to stay here permanently -- my wife and kids discuss fairly frequently how they preferred where we were in the US, even though there is much to enjoy here.

Strange to read through my post from Feb 2009, and see that I was basically right. Misty-eyed and nostalgic pretty much covers it.

Art, My question was to get some insight as to how I should expect to feel because in a few instances we share the same background. 'few' because you have a young family to consider and also a career which I don't.
When I read your posts I think of the things that you have access to in the UK that were not there in Kansas. Thats not entirely true. I see you are able to go out with your family and do fun things and they wont cost you anything. ie. parks, seaside and historic sites. You can focus on living and enjoying without spending.
You made me research (rightmove) Eastborne, where you now live, and it looks like a nice place. People seem to take care of their homes and the prices are average when compared to closer into London. That was another thing, you can jump into London real fast if you wanted to to take the kids out. People seem to stay in their own village though because there is enough for them there to do. I found that out when I lived in Los Angeles. Thats quite a comment, how can I compare a metropolitan area to village? Easily, its very stressful to travel out of your village. Ironically I did live around Westlake or was it Westwood Village in Los Angeles.
Well enough rambling. I have to go out in the 105 degree heat to shop. I'll swap you for Eastbourne?

I always wanted to live in Europe and romanticized the idea of living in France or Ireland or, more recently, England which makes it a little ironic that I wound up in Scotland - a place I never even considered - without much trying. I instantly loved it here, both Inverness in particular and the UK in general, but while I say "home" I still have "back home"  and I haven't entirely figured out how I fit here. So I knew I could live here, but it's not an easy, take-everything-for-granted kind of comfortable that I associate with "home".