My experiences with depression

Since I'm browsing UKY tonight, I thought I'd make a quick post about my experiences with depression since I moved to the UK about two years ago, with the thought that it might help someone else in a similar boat.  (Particularly if you're like me and hate the long, dark winters here, rah rah.)

I started feeling very homesick and depressed not long after I first moved here.  I shrugged it off as a normal reaction to so much upheaval in my life and let it go on for far too long, until old friends said I didn't really sound like myself anymore.  I felt so bad all the time that I stopped going out of the house, and eventually COULDN'T go out of the house on my own. 

Even after I realized that I needed help, I really struggled with getting it... I feared so much that I would face some social stigma for having mental health issues, and also doubted the NHS's ability to be helpful to me (for no real reason.. it's just how my mind was working at the time.) 

But eventually, I did go in for help and am currently being treated for anxiety, panic disorder and agoraphobia.  I DID have to go through a couple of doctors in my clinic before I found one that I liked, but I love him so much that I would do it again in a heartbeat.  They set me up with medication and counseling and I have never had any trouble getting in to see someone when I need help.

Most importantly, the more I open up to people about what's being going on with me (after all, folks get curious when you stop attending social functions) the more I find that more people than not have had similar situations at one point or another.  Nobody has been unkind to me about it.  At least, none of my british friends.  They've been exceptionally loving and supportive about it.

I guess I just wanted to put it out there in case someone else is struggling and scared to get help.  I wish I had done it so much sooner, when I first struggled upon arriving here.  Be kind to yourself.  Moving to another country is emotionally taxing and there is nothing wrong with getting a little assistance in the emotional end of things.  I have been amazed at how well the system works here and how KIND everyone is to me about this.  Don't be scared to ask for what you need.  You will probably get it.

Awww, big hugs to you. Thank you for sharing your story.  Depression can be such a complicated and difficult illness.  I'm glad you were able to get the help you needed. 

I'm glad you're getting help. I had to be hospitalised for major depression when I was younger.

What kind of clinic do you go to? How long did it take for you to get diagnosed? Did you have a history of depression or anxiety disorders before you came to the UK?  Did your GP have anything to do with your diagnosis? Who prescribes your medication, a GP or a psychiatrist?

Sorry for so many questions.

Thank you for sharing Thaumata.  I was determined when I first came here that I WOULD be happy here, and that probably made me struggle more than I would have if I'd let myself grieve the loss of the US.  I saw a lot of people getting on with their life here, and told myself not to be a baby and get over it.  I wonder sometimes how hard it is for new people to the UK who have wanted to come to the UK for a long time for a significant other or just because they wanted to be here to admit they are struggling to adjust.  I think it's very important to discuss it here because adjustment can be harder than we think or remember. 

I'm so glad you were able to find the help you needed Thaumata, and I hope your story encourages others to find help if they are struggling. 

I think it's very important to discuss it here because adjustment can be harder than we think or remember. 

Definitely.

I wanted to move. I chose to move. I was loving it. I was adjusting OK. But 4 months in, a huge wave of depression hit me. I struggled for quite a while with it.  At the time I said "This isn't a moving to the UK thing. I'm just depressed!"
But actually, looking back, it was a moving thing.  I think I had finally hit the wall from "Wow, I'm in a new country, life is fun and exciting and interesting"  to "Missing the birth of my nephew, missing my family, and missing a good friend" and I hurt inside. 

That said, I have always struggled with depression off and on in my life (genetic, my family is strive full of it on both sides!!) - (and today I'm really struggling for many reasons), and we all need some help sometimes.  So it is indeed good to discuss and reduce the stigma of getting help and the support we all need.   My GP was very helpful in getting me through a rough patch when I was just really struggling last year with extreme pain and fatigue which led to extreme depression.  I know they'd be helpful in the future as well.
I urge all to seek help when they're feeling it.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

http://www.refhelp.scot.nhs.uk/dmdocuments/Depression.pdf

I'm glad you're getting help. I had to be hospitalised for major depression when I was younger.

What kind of clinic do you go to? How long did it take for you to get diagnosed? Did you have a history of depression or anxiety disorders before you came to the UK?  Did your GP have anything to do with your diagnosis? Who prescribes your medication, a GP or a psychiatrist?

Sorry for so many questions.

I think by Clinic she means her GP's office, mine is like a clinic as well with several nurses, GPs, etc.

In my case (this was years ago) my doctor diagnosed depression and prescribed an anti-depression medication, he then referred my to a psychiatrist and for CBT.
CBT didn't work for me at all as I could just "see through" it, and personally I feel it works better for those with high anxiety, but that's obviously not the case for everyone.

At this time I was exhibiting self destructive behaviour (I was about 14,  in a terrible relationship with someone much older, I drank to excess and was a self harmer, I'm still quite scarred from this point in my life) and I was experiencing negative thoughts, I saw  the psychiatrist for about two years who adjusted my medication (SSRIs) and slowly got much better, until I was the victim of a severe crime (or attempted crime really but it was terrifying) and had a bit of a spiral and returned to compulsive behaviour.

At this point I was hospitalised for a short time and was diagnosed with a form of PTSD. A medication adjustment and seeing a psychiatrist every day helped immensely, and after a summer of grief, I bounced back, and changed my life, dumped my new awful boyfriend, went to university, moved cities, started fresh. I also met someone at uni who changed my life entirely and made me able to really understand the reasons for my depression, and for my anger. I was always so bloody angry, now I need to be set on fire in order to be angry and I'm much more accepting of life

I then went another (mostly happy) year before weaning myself (under supervision) off SSRIs, this time for good, I had some major traumas (a suicide of a close friend and cancer) shortly afterwards and returned to self destructive behaviour but luckily it never "took hold" in the way it had before (some Self Injury, Alcohol and reckless behaviour), I recognised the sign early and went to my university GP where I advised I did not want to be medicated but did want to see a councillor (rather than a psychiatrist), which I did for about six months.

Since then I've been medication and depression free There is always light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to seek help as early as you can, if you don't get the help or support you need, you find another GP, you go to one of the many charities or drop-ins there are out there in the world, you focus your energy on yourself and getting better.