Social acceptance of US children?

Hello -

I've never posted because we're not entirely sure a move to the UK is feasible, but the information on this forum is awesome!

I hope to study for a master's degree in England, so my family would most likely live there for only 12 months.  If everything goes as planned (ha!), my daughter would be 8 when we're in the UK and I'm concerned about her fitting in.  The college I hope to attend is in a smaller town and on top of being American, we're vegan and she's named, uh, Telly.  I know, I know - at the time, if I'd had any idea I might be able to study in the UK, we would definitely NOT have named her an English slang word!

Anyway, I'm really worried that she'll be mercilessly ridiculed and our super cool year abroad will only be remembered as the catalyst for ten years of therapy.  Has anyone with children found they were accepted in their schools?  Did your children have a difficult time making friends?  Have you encountered bullying?

Thank you!

Very reasonable concerns Del-

Obviously every child and situation makes this an unknownable situation. It does depend on her personality and the school culture etc.   I have a 5 year old daughter and she is doing well in adjusting to school here.  She does have the advantage of starting school with everyone else - where your daughter will be the new student that year.   

That being said I would say that there is a segment of people/ kids at school who watch American shows and find her being an American interesting and very likable.   There is also a segment of people/ kids at her school who do not care for her/ us because we are Americans.   My daughter has held firm to a very US accent and does get teased for her accent sometimes.   A few students really struggle with her accent/ vocabulary choices but that may be more of a 4/5 year old problem than when she is older.  Overall she gets on well - I think in general she thinks it is good to be an American here but every once in awhile there are tears.

We live in Sheffield - a university based town with many university kids who come and go, so that means there is a built in group of grade school kids coming and going.   

What city are you looking into?  Is your daughter out going?  Where we are being a vegan is not so much of an issue - but again we live in a university town.   My daughter did not like how her name sounded when pronounced with a South Yorkshire accent and choose a new nickname to use for school that is a version of her name - we don't use it at home but it has helped her get on at school.

Hope this helps, it is a big decision.

A lot of it will depend on your daughter's personality.  My daughter was actually quite shy but she fight in very well.  Because she was the "new" kid, she got lots of attention and questions anyway...but the fact that she was American doubled all of that.  It actually worked pretty well for her because it broke her out of her shell.  She wasn't very outgoing at the time but she was friendly to respond when other kids approached her.  Now she's very outgoing and her teacher was saying how she would pay particular attention to new kids when they came in.  She's 7.

We're moving back to the US this week and I worry about how she will be accepted on the other side.  I'm very familiar with the area and school she'll be going to and I think the general mentality around there is going to be that she's 'weird' because she talks 'funny' (she now has a broad Yorkshire accent) and isn't from the area (even though she grew up there for 5 years).  I'm hoping that the kids will be as accepting as they were here in the UK...but I'm preparing myself for the worst.

My son is 8, and he's had mixed reaction since being here. He does very well now, but when we first arrived we found out that the curriculum here is a little ahead of the curriculum in the school in California. He caught up pretty quickly though and that is no longer a problem. However, when it came to making friends and getting along it took him some time, and he still struggles with it now. The thing is more of my sons personality than him being American. He is a very sweet kid, who was an only child for 8 years- had more interactions with adults than kids his own age. We've found the kids here are very witty and quick with jokes (poking fun and making fun) he doesn't get that a lot of the time his reaction is what makes them tease him more. They like to hear him talk, so they tease him, which makes him angry and yell, which they think is hilarious!

 Things are getting better- He is learning to not be so reactive. Kids find things to tease kids about, no matter where you are from. The American thing is just the most obvious one. Hopefully your kids will find the transition smooth. Honestly, my little one doesn't even remember the difficult parts now, only his new little friends and the fun bits about our home here.

Thank you so much for the helpful responses!

Noreneh - I'm looking into West Dean College, so we would most likely live in Chichester.  My daughter currently has a difficult time adjusting to new environments, but a potential move is a few years off, so maybe she'll do a bit of maturing (if not, we won't go).  A nickname is an excellent idea - we'd only thought of using her middle name. 

HeadingBackHome - Good luck on the transition back to the States!  I'm from the Midwest, and the one student we had with an English accent was treated like a rock star because he was so interesting.  I hope you have nothing to worry about!

Smashley - My daughter is also an only child used to a lot of adult company.  She tends to not care what others think of her (not in an arrogant way, she's friendly, but confident), so I'm afraid she won't really try to make friends.  Either way, it's a few years off, so who knows.  I'm glad your son's situation is improving!

Again, thank you so much for the help - this forum is a wonderful resource!

Vegan, no problem as there are tons of vegetarians and vegans around.  No issue there. 

The name, she will be assigned a nickname - Tels, Tazzy, Taz are all diminutives of Telly.  My son was branded with the nickname Pinky and I'm sure there were a few who never even knew his given name! 

As for the accent, she'll be a curiosity at first and as long as she holds her head high and not reveal the soft underbelly, she'll be golden.  Not revealing the soft underbelly is key because if she shows she's the least bit vulnerable to teasing, the kids will be all over it. And as a parent, it is up to you to give her the tools to be able to withstand the teasing.  Sometimes, it's hard and heartbreaking to send them out there again. 

One thing in your favour is it's only a year.  And that goes by really quickly.