Feeling guilty for stealing her son...

My husband and I were married in May and he's moving to the UK to be with me in 2 weeks, 19th December! 

One of the things putting a downer on what should be an incredible, exciting time is my mother-in-law. We get on rather well but I know she's quite down that her (only) son is moving 3500 miles away. I feel so guilty and I know my husband is quite worried how she will cope with his moving. 
My husbands parents are divorced and his Dad is very happy for him. I'm sure his Mom is too but we can both tell its effecting her negatively.

I want to send her a X-mas card and write that I'm gonna take care of him and that I promise we'll visit as often as we can but don't want to seem like I'm rubbing her nose in it either!

Anyone had similar feelings or experience in this? I'm sure you have!
Any advice would be greatly recieved.

Thanks so much, Chloe.

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I do not know exactly what to tell you. When I first moved far from home, in the olden days before Facebook, I built a website that I regularly updated with photos and wrote what I was up to. I guess it was kind of like a blog before they existed. You should ensure that he calls her often and still makes her feel like an important part of his life. Best of luck to you and your hubby!!!

I guess I'll be doing the same when boyfriend and I move to the UK.  His parents are obviously not looking forward to us moving, but aren't kicking up a fuss.  How is she reacting exactly?  Is she making you feel guilty, or is she trying to be positive about things? 

I think that often if your parents are in a good place themselves, then they tend to feel happy and excited for you.  But if something is missing in their own life, then it can be harder.  But the important thing is, you shouldn't feel guilty about it.  You have to make the best decision for yourselves.  Adult children need to be able to spread their wings, follow their hearts and dreams and build the life that they want.  I realized a long time ago that we would never be able to please everyone.

Honestly, I think that you and his mom can make the best or the worst of your situation.  There are plenty of families who live in the same town that have bad relationships, and many who live far apart who have good ones.  It's all about what you make of it.  Skyping, making an effort to visit, and keeping each other up to date about your lives are important.  I've been living in the US for 5 years, and I still feel very much part of my family.  But I have also put quite a bit of effort in.  I have visited them at least once per year, and my parents have been over 3 times each.  I phone my mum every week.  I do miss them, and there have been a few bumps along the way, but I think overall we've made a pretty good go of it.  I hope we'll do the same with boyfriend's family once we move.

I've spoken to my MIL about this, as she was gutted when I brought her son with me to the US. But as soon as she saw we were happy and that his career was better off for it, and coupled with the weekly Sunday calls which became Skypes, she got over it. In fact, she was more concerned about us coming back! In short, his family will get used to it, and if they are as close as it sounds, he will do what he needs to in order to make her comfortable with the move.

Thanks for the replies guys.
My MIL does have a few problems of her own and sometimes I think worrying about other people makes her feel better, bit of an escape sort of thing. I hope her parents and ex husband (they keep in touch) support her through this.

My husband will be leaving his house tomorrow to spend his last 12 days in the US with her and the family. He's quite worried and anxious about what to expect from his mum. I just told him to be as upbeat as possible (don't want her thinking his having cold feet or anything, make her feel worse) and assure her that we'll call a couple of times a week and visit as often as possible, which of course we will!

Again, thanks for the replies. Any extra advice welcome

Well as a mum in law myself I can assure you she probably wants the best for her son.  I know I do for mine, my daughter in law is currently in the US and my son is here in the UK.  They have chosen to settle here in the uk eventually but if they had made a different choice I am sure i would have been happy for them.

I just want them all to be together wherever that may be.  Make sure your hubby phones and webcams often and make sure you visit as soon as you can.

love pads x