Family Members backlash to moving

Boy, I just got an earful, or eyeful rather, from my Dad about my moving to the UK. I have made the mistake of saying "America, love it or leave it" and I'm not lovin' it right now so I'm leaving (it was mainly tongue in cheek), once in a facebook post which I removed because it bothered my nephew and now it's like I am the ultimate traitor or something. Has anyone else experienced this type of thing from friends and family?

Well, not exactly, but my brother got really mad at me for not babysitting his children for 3 full weeks prior to me moving to England. (The babysitting gig would have been up to the very day I was leaving). He could NOT understand why I would be, a bit busy doncha know, moving to another country.  He still hasn't spoken one word to me, never called or came over to say goodbye, zilch. It's been about 2 months now.

I haven’t left yet, but it’s in the cards very, very soon and my family knows this. For the most part they are supportive, but they’ve taken to saying things like “well, it doesn’t matter if a,b or c happens because you won’t be here anyway” or “you don’t need that because you’re moving soon, so can I take it off your hands now?” That may be true, but I’m not even engaged at the moment, so let’s not pack my bags just yet, ok? 

Also, my sister (who has many, many, many issues) likes to guilt trip me about “abandoning” my mother. Their relationship is strained, but I’m very closer with my mother. She isn’t a social butterfly and she’s kind of loner. Apart from me, her sisters and my dad, she isn’t very social, but does that mean I have to live in her house or up the street for the rest of my life? I will come home and she’ll come to visit me when it comes to it. There is also Skype, Facebook and email. It won’t be the same and I’m sure my mother will miss me and I will miss her to pieces, but it’s not like I’m going to move and never see or speak to her again.

I haven't left yet, but it's in the cards very, very soon and my family knows this. For the most part they are supportive, but they've taken to saying things like well, it doesn't matter if a,b or c happens because you won't be here anyway or you don't need that because you're moving soon, so can I take it off your hands now?” That may be true, but I'm not even engaged at the moment, so let's not pack my bags just yet, OK? 

Also, my sister (who has many, many, many issues) likes to guilt trip me about abandoning my mother. Their relationship is strained, but I'm very closer with my mother. She isn't a social butterfly and she's kind of loner. Apart from me, her sisters and my dad, she isn't very social, but does that mean I have to live in her house or up the street for the rest of my life? I will come home and she'll come to visit me when it comes to it. There is also Skype, Facebook and email. It won't be the same and I'm sure my mother will miss me and I will miss her to pieces, but it's not like I'm going to move and never see or speak to her again.

I get this sometimes from my mom.. Mainly because I'm her baby and am very close to her. She recently moved to North Carolina and I'm still in California, but she's complaining that she'll never see me or my daughter once I move to England.. Umm is it me or do I not see you now? She's been gone almost 5 months now. Prior to living here in Southern California near me for 10 months she used to live in our hometown area in Northern California the whole time I've been in So Cal (6 years) and I got the same guilt trip then. I know she loves me and wants me to be happy, but sometimes keeping your opinions on MY life to yourself is a good rule of thumb. I'm not leaving till mid June and I've lived in California virtually my whole life, what's wrong with following my heart? Living with my bf (soon to be hubby)? Starting fresh in a new place? Traveling as much as possible? As much as I love it here and will miss my friends, my home is where my heart is and my my bf has my heart.. So sometimes you have to let that negativity fly over your head like a big 747 airplane and do what makes you happy!

It's a bit complicated on my part.  My family really had no ground to guilt me about moving off.  If they wanted us in the US, they had their chance to help us with that.  But ultimately, us coming here turned out to be the better option, IMO.

Before my mom died last year, she always was a bit negative about the UK.  She would make comments.  Not really bad ones.  Little ones.  Like when I described the way my MiL had the laundry set up when I first moved here (washing machine, spin dryer which you had to hold in one place by leaning on it, condenser dryer which took forever), she assumed that was the way you did laundry here.  Like we went out and banged our clothes against rocks or something (not that there's anything wrong with that).  I don't know anyone else here who still uses a spin dryer, but I couldn't convince mom of that.

Or she'd say stuff like "Don't you get bored with British TV?"  No.  At the time we didn't have anything but Freeview, and it still seemed better (at least in quality) than the cable I paid for back home.  And missing British telly is on the con list for moving into Europe or beyond.  One day I went somewhere on a train and I talked to mom later in the day.  I mentioned that a few people on the train weren't wearing any deodorant and some lady insisted on closing all the windows.  Of course, this could happen anywhere, but mom was all "Oh, I couldn't stand it."  She said that about a lot of things about the UK.  I got to the point where it stopped bothering me.  Sure she missed me, but she also loved to travel.  She always said she regretted not doing more of it.  I think that it was more sour grapes than anything.

I can't imagine people putting their love of their country over their love of their children.  I am assuming you're an adult, and your opinions aren't his duty to shape or correct.  I am guessing he's dealing with the upcoming loss more than anything.

I agree with a lot of the above sayings. Especially the one about "I don't see you now, and we live in the same state/area/country" and it's so true.

I find with both my friends and family, If I'm not the one starting/paying/making the effort, no visits happen.

So when I moved to the UK, everyone that had that to complain about, my response was "hmm...when's the last time you came to visit?" I felt a bit agro about it but the truth is out there.

Lucky for me, my family is used to my independent ways and when I broke the news, it wasn't all negitive responses. Still, breaks my heart when Mom asks when she'll see me again. 

DW had a backlash from her daughter who was 20 when she moved. The background was her daughter had move from NJ (where my wife is from) to NH with her boyfriend and it was thought they were settled, when we said we were getting married and living in UK. But shortly after DW had moved (before the wedding) her daughter's relationship broke down and she was basically left with just her aunty (DW's sister) as Grandpa was down in NJ. She didn't have much contact with her dad.
So there were a few very tearful phone calls where she accused DW of abandoning her and not wanting anything to do with her. We offered to pay for her to come down to Florida for the wedding but she didn't want to know. And when we were in Connecticut after the wedding staying with DW's sister whilst waiting for the visa to come through, her daughter still didn't want to meet up.
But time moves on and a year later things were much better, not really sure why, her daughter had moved back to NJ (though she's back up in NH now) and they were reconciled, met up on our last 2 trips to the States. They talk at least once a week on phone. And last year she came over for a visit when before she'd said she wasn't bothered. In fact she liked that visit so much she wants to move over here herself!
Shes coming over for another visit at Xmas.

So basically....they are upset that you are leaving but they'll probably come round in time.

I haven't had a TON of backlash from family. My mother is most supportive, my father is a little less, but hes a dad so that's expected.. My mother and I were talking once about my boyfriend and I just getting married so I could move to the UK a lot easier. My dad put his foot down and got pretty stern and said something to the effect of "You haven't even lived with him." and it was pretty upsetting. I know he tries to understand what I am going through, and he knows how strict the immigration rules are, but sometimes he doesn't understand that there's no other way. My grandmas have also said things like "looks like we've lost her to England already." I know they are going to be pretty upset about it, as will I, but its only making it harder when they make comments that upset me  

Some of my friends have also said things like "Moving there for a guy is a huge step....and you don't really know someone until you live with them, what if something happened and you broke up?". I understand their concern but I am an adult, I make my own decisions, and I have also been LDR with my boyfriend for almost a year now. Also, a now ex-friend had said something in the past that I was an idiot for going to England and meeting a guy. She is not my friend anymore for that and other reasons.