Step-parent Adoption

My husband is British. I am here on a spouse visa with my 3 children. My husband would like to adopt my children and this would be easiest to do before we need to apply for ILR in two years.

The problem is... I have no idea where to even begin with this. Does he adopt them in the UK or the US. Has anyone been through this process or know what it costs?

Thank you!

Have you spoken to your children's biological father about this? That would be the first step.

What mirrajay said!

To even think about starting this process you will need your husband to consent to terminate his parental rights(TPR)- even if you currently have sole custody and he doesn't see/support your children.

My stepfather could not adopt me because my bio father would not consent to TPR though he was incapable of taking care of me. Because we resided in different states the courts would not decree TPR. I would imagine this to be impossible from abroad.

Are your kids currently in the UK? (I assume yes from your question). If they are still in the US- your case will be considered an Inter-country adoption- which are damn near impossible and take twice (or more) as long.

Step family adoption within the UK is just as lengthy and expensive as non family adoption, it can take around a year for the most straight forward cases to go through. There is no guarantee that your DH would be your children's legal guardian by the time you need to apply for ILR.

The first step in the process (after securing TPR) would be to contact your local council's social services. They will set up a date for a social worker to contact you about putting forward an intention to adopt.

After this is completed it will be handled like a normal adoption, with background checks, interviews, home studies. This can take 6 months to a year, if started on time, some councils have back-logged cases so it can take longer. When these checks are over you will be given consent to put forth your petition for legal adoption and the case will be brought forward in front of a judge.

I have no direct experience with stepfamily adoption in the UK, but I have heard that it doesn't always get granted because here the courts are of the notion- unless the child is in direct danger they believe parental rights should always belong to the biological parent. I can say in the US this is exactly what happened to me, and my bio-father was considered unfit to care for a child.

IMHO, it will most likely be cheaper and simpler to get your children ILR.
Good luck!

Also, now that I typed this and just found that direct gov has some really good basic info covering what I just said: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Adoptionfosteringandchildrenincare/AdoptionAndFostering/DG_10021340

I heard something interesting the other day when I was talking to two friends who have both had their children adopted by their second husbands here in the UK.  Apparently in the UK BOTH parents adopt the child.  They were talking about going through the process of terminating their rights and being confused at having to readopt their own child.  This made no sense to me at all, but both women told me this is what they had to do as part of the process of having their child adopted--it was adopted by both parents, so they both had to go through the process.

Does this just sound mad to anyone else?  I mean, I understand that both parents would need to be part of the approval of the home study, but to terminate the rights of the biological mother and then have her re-adopt the child seemed like crazy bureaucracy.