Had to say goodbye again today

I'm a bit of a mess right now and I really had to write this out to someone since I am currently home alone. I had an absolutely wonderful two weeks with my boyfriend. His flight from NY to PA got cancelled yesterday (then he was gonna go from PA to London) so I was extremely happy to have another day with him. Today, just got back from dropping him off. I can't go into the guest room we stayed in at my house without sobbing and I just am going to miss him so much. This was the first time I had gotten to physically touch him in over a year. We both got emotional at the airport and his poor blue eyes were all blood shot from all the crying. I didn't want him to go, I wish we could just get married and I could get a visa and just live there with him. But I know right now that's not an option. Not sure what anyone is going to say in regards besides, 'you'll see eachother again.' But I really just want to hug him again.. Long distance is such sh*t...think I've grown to have a love-hate relationship with airports. 

Big, big hugs to you! I remember those days, and I understand your love-hate relationship with airports. Sure, I could say the standard 'chin up, you'll see him again' that you know everyone will say, but we all know that never cheers anyone up who is doing LDR. Just know you are in my thoughts, and one day when you are together it will all be worth it. I didn't think so at the time, with all the good byes, so I am not trying to trivialize your feelings. I understand because I cried the 2 1/2 hours back from taking hubby to the airport after we were married and he had to go home for a couple months, and cried all the way from Manchester to Indy (with a six hour layover in Philly) the first time I left here before we were married. (Plus the other times we had to be apart..) I know it sucks, and I wish we could all take your pain away.

Thank you so much for that reply, was honestly was very nice to read. I really appreciate it. I will keep the future in mind, it's just that damn ocean and border that makes me go a little mental. We're gonna chat about me visiting him again when he gets home. It was touching that he cried, you know how men usually are, trying to act all tough and macho. But not him, at least not today, haha. I'm glad someone out there understands how I feel, and the horrid headaches that come with crying so hard for so long. 

LDRs are cruel. 


Whenever I visit DF or DF visits me, I start getting upset 2 or 3 days before one of us leaves and am basically inconsolable on the day unless I'm distracted by something else. DF doesn't cry because he's not really one to show huge displays of emotion in public and he knows that it will just make it worse for me. You have to feel sorry for him because there is a 48 hour period where the water works can start at the drop of the hat, so he really has to tip-toe around me. It usually takes me a good 2 weeks to get over the post-visit slump. I always feel like between visits you get really excited for the next one and when it comes and goes, you feel like you are back at the starting gate and you're going to be apart forever.

I promise that you will feel better though. It will just take some time and you will become readjusted with the distance.

Me and DF have been doing long distance since April of 2008. The longest time we spent apart was between our first meeting and my first trip to the UK (1 year and 11 months  ) After that, the longest time we spent apart was 6 months and then it kept getting shorter and shorter between visits. While it helped, to see each other more quickly, I know that the longer the LDR continues, the harder being apart becomes.

So, eat some brownies. Eat some ice cream. Have a good cry. Don't let anyone tell you to chin up. However, don't do this for the remainder of your separation. Give yourself some time to grieve and mend and then try to regain a sense of normalcy.

I truly sympathize with your situation. Saying good bye and the period that directly follows is one of the worst experiences. Be kind to yourself. I'm thinking of you. Hugs.