I just changed the names to initials for the sake of posting it online.
This is just a rough draft. Too much info? Not enough? Any advice is appreciated.

To Entry Clearance Officer
I am writing this letter in support of my fiancé "h.b.m's " UK Fiancé settlement visa application.
I am a British citizen and have been since birth. I live with my parents, my mother "y.w", step-father "r.w", and my brother who also still lives at home. The house includes 4 bedrooms plus an annex which includes a bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, and is attached to the house via the conservatory. The annex is where my fiancé and I will be staying and will have exclusive use of.
I live here rent free and they have invited my fiancé to stay here rent free also. They have included a letter with this application which states this and that they are also offering third party sponsorship.
We have decided to get married on 15th September 2012, at the Newbury Shaw house registry office. I have so far made a provisional booking and I am communicating with the Hilton Newbury Centre for a wedding reception. I have included some of these emails with the application to support this.
My fiancé and I have been in a relationship since July 2007 after meeting online. He first came to visit me and my family on the 19th December 2007 and we have visited each other numerous times ever since, and have also taken 2 vacations to Florida with my family. For the last couple of years we have used Skype as our main communication. I have included some of our tickets and confirmation emails for flights that I could find along with a few pictures.
I have been working at the Best Western Calcot hotel since July 2008 as a kitchen assistant part time. I have kept this job instead of applying full time as it has been very flexible in terms of my holidays to go and visit my fiancé. I am currently in search of a full time job now we are applying for a visa. I make around £120 a week on average, although recently as I have had my hours increased I’ve been making around £130. The only times I don’t hit this mark is if I am off sick or visiting my fiancé, which is reflected in my bank statements.
I contribute £60 a month towards household expenses, you can see on the bank statements this is “BILL PAYMENT TO Queer REFERENCE y woodhouse, MANDATE NO 0001”. The amounts sometimes vary as I am paying this directly to my mother, and I may owe her various small sums that add up at the end of the month. The irregular deposit of £800 dated 22/02/2012 is money drawn from a credit card to help pay for things toward the wedding such as the venue.
I hope you find all the additional materials within this application satisfactory and can proceed to issue "h.b.w's" entry clearance upon receiving his application. Please let me know if there is any further information need, I will be happy to help.
Kind Regards,
"y.w"