Now the new Agency is stressing me out

We found the place we want to rent in Kent and paid all the agency fees (holding fee and reference checks fee) via bank transfer last week as we can't go back and forth after viewing it to pay or submit extra things they forget to ask for in the first place. It's a 12 hour drive (round trip) and DH works 12 hours a day. The property is now off their website but they are completely ignoring me. I'm worried we've been scammed (but it is a legit agency). They said they sent me receipts for the fees I've paid in the post and I still haven't received them (it's been a week).

I sent a polite email yesterday asking if there's a problem and how the referencing checks are going.

What should I do next? Has this ever happened to anyone else? How long does it generally take for them to do the checks? I sent all the things they asked for first class so they would've received everything by now.

I'm giving them until noon to reply after which point I'll call them but I'm worried they'll just tell me to wait more. We need to be out of here by the 31st so I feel really stressed that we'll have no where to live if they just say no last minute or continue to ignore us.

Estate agents don't really reply to emails in my experience

Just keep phoning them until they answer the phone. My last place did all reference checks online and it took about 24 hours, my place in Brighton took two and a half weeks and called a job I'd had when I was 16, so it really varies.

Estate agents don't really reply to emails in my experience

Just keep phoning them until they answer the phone. My last place did all reference checks online and it took about 24 hours, my place in Brighton took two and a half weeks and called a job I'd had when I was 16, so it really varies.

Thanks CB. somehow you always give me more courage and motivate me to be more proactive. I've just called. They've received everything and are just currently doing the referencing so nothing to worry about.

You should be a motivational coach or something the amount of times you've helped me out .

Thanks CB. somehow you always give me more courage and motivate me to be more proactive. I've just called. They've received everything and are just currently doing the referencing so nothing to worry about.

You should be a motivational coach or something the amount of times you've helped me out .

It's what I do for a living basically, I have a whole group of producers working for me, and I prod them into doing the things they're worried or procrastinating about, I always tell them we can deal with anything, if we know about it. Information is key, getting the information fast is paramount. I try and reduce email and instant messaging across the studio as you can't guarantee those things have been read so you can jump to conclusions really easily.

But basically I'm not one for wasting time worrying about things, or jumping to conclusions based on unfounded fears. I used to be a massive sufferer of intrusive thoughts where I'd get an idea in my head, I couldn't get it out, I'd try to bury it, it would leak out and make me sad/stressed at odd moments etc. Overall it made me much more nervous and less confident.

So over the years I've tried really hard to be pro-active about everything I can be, and  I've found that I'm much happier if I use the "I could worry about this and mull it over endlessly, or I could try and do something to fix it" approach.

Sometimes when I'm really stressed I make a list of all the things that are worrying/stressing me out and I make a list of things I can do to fix them. If there's nothing I can do to fix the situation, I tell myself to have the strength not to worry about things I can't control and give myself a deadline (like 24 hours) where I need to review the situation.
Then I do all the things i need to do in a big burst (call the council about council tax, find my receipts from Seattle and submit my expenses, book an  appointment at the hairdresser etc) , then I reward myself with ice cream, or a TV show, or shopping

Some good tips there CB. I'll give that list thing a try and tackling everything at the same time. It's stressful in the moment but at least you don't have to prolong the agony.

Some good tips there CB. I'll give that list thing a try and tackling everything at the same time. It's stressful in the moment but at least you don't have to prolong the agony.

I think that's why it works for me, it's like okay, two hours of doing horrible stuff but I then have five days of not worrying about anything.

It does get to the stage where it feels good to check things off

Just an update and question.

I've called the agency twice now to ask what the hold up is and I'm just always told they're still doing checks and not sure how long it will be. It's been two weeks now and I'm panicking that we'll have no place to live if they back out for whatever reason.

Is there anyway I can get all the fees back if they take a long time to get back to me? I've read on shelter that some people were able to get their fees back even though they pulled out. Anyone been through that?

I wish we'd have just got a shitty flatshare now. I was dreading it but it would've saved all the stress I imagine.

Yay sorted this whole thing out today. After jumping through all the hoops, the place is now secured yippieee!!

I'm having an all assertive get-things-done day! I hope you're proud of me Cheesebiscuit!

Congrats! 

Yay sorted this whole thing out today. After jumping through all the hoops, the place is now secured yippieee!!

I'm having an all assertive get-things-done day! I hope you're proud of me Cheesebiscuit!

Well done! Of course I am! How much better does it feel to get things done rather than worry about them? You are so much stronger than you think you are!

Well done! Of course I am! How much better does it feel to get things done rather than worry about them? You are so much stronger than you think you are!

Thanks so much CB! You're absolutely right, it feels a lot better not having to worry about things and just getting them out of the way.