Is keeping your maiden name uncommon in the UK

In the UK I switched to my husband's name but my passport/visa are still in my maiden name. My paycheques are in $newname but when HMRC sent me a cheque for being over-taxed it was in my $oldname. The (male) teller at the bank got quite shirty about cashing a cheque in the "wrong" name and tried to insist that I have them re-issue the cheque in $newname. I opened the account under $oldname so it should be listed as an alias. The cheque cleared but I couldn't believe his attitude.

Well, I just discovered something very interesting with regard to women and name changes: in the course of compiling family trees I googled some names in DH's family and found an extremely detailed family history put together by a woman in Warwickshire. Always wondered why FIL's name was "John Smith Jones" and his brother was "Henry Smith Jones". Turns out their father was born on the wrong side of the blanket -- His mother was "Mary Jones" and didn't marry the father "Fred Smith" until about a year and a half later! So DH's grandfather was known as "George Fred Smith Jones" while all the subsequent siblings (born in wedlock) were "Smiths"! Odd that they didn't just change his name or was "Mary Smith" ahead of her time?

Just thought I'd add that I kept my maiden name.  It's been my name for quite a while, you know.  ;p  I wanted to keep it in some form.  Unfortunately, my surname is a colour and my husband's is an animal, so every possible combination sounded ridiculous!

No one has said anything to me yet.  I've been here since May, and I went around signing up for bank accounts, the GP, the dentist, all sorts of things.  No one gave it any pause.  This is in Edinburgh, though; maybe it'd be different overall in other places.

I'm an American in London. I kept my maiden name for the sake of simplicity - changing it would mean notifying authorities in both the US and the UK, and being without my passport/official documents even longer than I already am in applying for a UK spouse visa. I also take fairness to a fault - if my husband doesn't have to change his name and go through the hassle and expense, why should I? In any case, I like my maiden name; it's simple and I grew up being that name, and see no reason to change it.

I did get a pretty stupid comment from my boss: "Changing your name is a sign of commitment to your husband. You ought to change it or it won't look like you're committed. And what about your children?" To which I replied "Surely he should change his name to show his commitment to me, since I've already demonstrated mine by leaving my home country and family behind, marrying him, and staying here! And my future children are my business." He couldn't argue with that!

My British friends and in-laws insist on calling me "Mrs T" although I am, and will remain, "Ms H", and in-laws are sometimes a bit strange about it as if I've somehow resisted joining the family properly, but they're a bit strange in general.

Overall, no harm done in keeping it and nobody at the bank or other places has raised a stink - and if they did I'd be pretty feisty about them minding their own business or losing mine!

I did get a pretty stupid comment from my boss: "Changing your name is a sign of commitment to your husband. You ought to change it or it won't look like you're committed. And what about your children?" To which I replied "Surely he should change his name to show his commitment to me, since I've already demonstrated mine by leaving my home country and family behind, marrying him, and staying here! And my future children are my business." He couldn't argue with that!

Good point! 

I'm an American in London. I kept my maiden name for the sake of simplicity - changing it would mean notifying authorities in both the US and the UK, and being without my passport/official documents even longer than I already am in applying for a UK spouse visa.

I don't think you have to notify anyone if you take your husband's name. If you want to use your married name in the UK, you just start using it.  (by 'you' I don't mean you luckyjinx since you are obviously just using your maiden name in both the UK and US.)

I've got my US passport in my maiden name and my US bank account is in my maiden name as well as my US credit card.

In the UK my bank account, credit cards,  and all our bills, etc are in my married name.  When I get my UK passport I'll be in my married name.

When I got married the first time in the US I strongly wanted to keep my maiden name.

This time I decided to take my husband's name in spite of myself.

The visa application was painless and keeping my maiden name didn't interfere with any part of the process.

Funny enough, the only issue I ran into was when registering with a GP. They were gobsmacked about what "title" to give me since I wasn't really Mrs DH on my passport or Visa and indicated Ms Oonablah on my surgery application. I really didn't care what they called me as long as they could allow me to see their doctors (was also in the middle of a health crisis while registering so a bit emotionally tender...)

The (snooty, to be honest) receptionist just muttered "Well, we don't do that here" when I explained my last name choices.  Luckily they've been nothing but lovely to me since. But it was a bit of a surprising blip in settling in.

This issue had more to do with where we are living than anything else. I can't imagine a similar issue popping up in London, for example. But Norfolk... Well....

"Changing your name is a sign of commitment to your husband. You ought to change it or it won't look like you're committed. And what about your children?"

"Well, we don't do that here"

Why anyone would think it's their place to school a woman on what she does with her own name is beyond me.  But strangely, it's a topic that can really burn some people up.  Good on you for standing your ground, though.

Like luckyjinx said, sometimes people assume I'm "Mrs. HisName" or keep calling me that, but I don't take offence.  I know what my name is, even if they call me otherwise!  Besides, he has a weird double-barrelled surname due to divorce and remarriage in his family, so he changes it depending on what he's giving it for.  He's one name to some people and a different one to others!

I just had a bit of an annoying situation with the maiden/married name.  I am keeping my maiden name for the time being just because I thought having the continuity would make applying for a visa easier (if passport, bank account, bills, etc were just all in my maiden name).  I probably will change it over when I renew my passport, but for the time being it's fine.

My in-laws just sent me cheques for my birthday in my married name and I took them to the bank today to deposit them (brought my marriage certificate along).  The teller was gobsmacked as to why I wouldn't want to change my name on my account and made such a fuss about it (now I work at a bank and I know the majority of the time, once a cheque is paid in, it doesn't get checked, those checks could have been made out to Mrs Yankee Doodle and they probably still would have cleared).  I should have just paid them in at the deposit ATM and saved myself the hassle

I go by Ms. as well, but annoyingly on my bank account they ticked Mrs since I am married so I am Mrs Maiden Name which is silly!

I go by Ms. as well, but annoyingly on my bank account they ticked Mrs since I am married so I am Mrs Maiden Name which is silly!

I detest having to have a "title". Not even happy with Ms. Whenever I address an envelope I usually just put First name Surname, unless I know it's someone who would really freak out if they didn't get a "title".