So, I had a bit of an Elliot Ness moment....

I poured every drop of alcohol in our house down the drain tonight.

I'd really been looking forward to some of those beers.

But my MIL can't handle drink, and can't stop drinking, so it had to go.

This was an unpopular act.  I'm not sure what's going to happen next.  But it feels good to have taken a stand.

Next time, just get a padlock for one of the cabinets.

Whoa, Woadgrl... that was a bit of an extreme reaction, given that it's Hogmanay!     Could you not have waited a couple of days and presented it as a sort of New Years Resolution-type thing?

I did something similar years ago, with my alcoholic ex (but it wasn't Hogmanay!!!) and ended up beaten, strangled with a scarf, and nearly thrown out a 3rd floor window!

I hope there won't be a huge backlash.
And I hope you have a Happy New Year when it comes.

(edited to change smilie face... i had meant to click on the 'shocked' face, but clicked the 'rolleyes' by *genuine* accident... sorry!)

Whoa, Woadgrl... that was a bit of an extreme reaction, given that it's Hogmanay!     Could you not have waited a couple of days and presented it as a sort of New Years Resolution-type thing?

Nope!  I don't give a sh*t what day it is.  And If I'd waited, I couldn't have gone through with it.  It had to have been £400 worth of drink.  Also, you can't 'resolution' someone else.  This is a complete prohibition.

I did something similar years ago, with my alcoholic ex (but it wasn't Hogmanay!!!) and ended up beaten, strangled with a scarf, and nearly thrown out a 3rd floor window!

Well, she tends to stick mainly to emotional/verbal abuse.  Also, we've only got the one floor.  So I think we're fairly safe.

I hope there won't be a huge backlash.
And I hope you have a Happy New Year when it comes.

No idea what the backlash will be.  I haven't seen her yet today.  My husband says she's been ok, but I suspect she's just hiding from me.  And however bad it is, it'll be better than the alternative.  Something has to change around here. 

As for the occasion, I couldn't really care less about having a drink, but my New Year will be all the happier for not having her sat at the table, alternately bawling into her whiskey and spouting vile abuse at my husband.  Not having him go to bed in tears is really celebration enough for me.

It had to have been £400 worth of drink.

If I lived closer, I'd have happily taken it off your hands! 

Good for you. 

I understand why you did what you did. I hope your MIL is able to overcome this. My dad has the same reaction when it appeared as though one of my sibling's drinking was getting out of control. Even now, if he sees a drop of alcohol in the house, down the drain it goes.

Glad you did something about it woadgrrl. I can't imagine it's been easy. Hopefully the fallout isn't too bad and your MIL manages to reflect on why you would feel like you had to take those measures in the first place.

Maybe Hogmanay isn't the humungous deal out there that it is here?

I was coming from a POV of Hogmanay being the biggest night of the year... the one night that, traditionally, even people who don't normally imbibe, will take a drink.
  
I was thinking something like maybe saying to her, 'look... this is what you're like when you're drunk, and we are finished dealing with it.  So, enjoy your Hogmanay, cos from tomorrow, it's all going down the drain'.   Then you could have enjoyed the beers that you'd looked forward to, and demonstrate that it's possible to have a drink and a celebration without turning into a maudlin, bitter, abusive fan-dan.

Too late now, of course, and you don't seem like you're regretting what you've done, so... I really hope it all works out ok.  

I don't know, there's always *something* if it isn't NYE, it's not on a Saturday, or need to finish what we have or I'll start on Monday.
Why give someone who struggles with alcohol the license to have one last ridiculous binge? Why put yourself and your husband through a NYE that sounded like it would be hell?

Pull a plaster (band-aid) right off, I say, if she can't handle it, she can go...*away*



Good for you. I hope it works out, or at least it precipitates a change of some kind in the situation.

Wow woadgrrl - I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. Having an alcoholic in the family isn't easy and it sounds like she needs proper help.

I did something similar years ago, with my alcoholic ex (but it wasn't Hogmanay!!!) and ended up beaten, strangled with a scarf, and nearly thrown out a 3rd floor window!

Yikes!!!!!

Mine wasn't as bad, but it was a rough experience as well.  I dated an alcoholic and throwing the alcohol away didn't do any good, except cause an angry-belligerent- abusive situation and well there's always a pub, supermarket, off-license that meant the stocks were quickly replenished -  only he could help himself and he didn't want to help himself.
 
Can you talk to your GP and see if there are any family support networks (like Adfam) in your area?  I know you're quite remote, but there may be something.  Otherwise, online help for you and your husband may be useful as well.  

Good thoughts to you x

Maybe Hogmanay isn't the humungous deal out there that it is here?

I can assure you that it is a very big deal.

What it is not, is an excuse.

Cheesebiscuit is absolutely right.  There's always something.  Some reason to just wait one more day. 

I just decided that I wasn't having any of that anymore.

I don't particularly regret it, either.  I mean, it's a bit of a waste, and I don't love the fact that it's punishing myself and my husband as well, but I'm glad I did it.  The only fallout I'm worried about is what will be said if/when she tells the rest of the family about it.  But I'm not even particularly fussed about that.  If they want to venture an opinion, they're welcome to swap places and live with it themselves.

It took a lot of strength to make what was going to be an unpopular decision with some and stick to it.  Hope there isn't too much backlash from family members and MIL decides to get help.

It took a lot of strength to make what was going to be an unpopular decision with some and stick to it.  Hope there isn't too much backlash from family members and MIL decides to get help.

No backlash to speak of, other than a week of her mutterings and dirty looks.

But also, no getting help.  Oh no.  Not at all.  She'd been pretty good for the past few weeks, but then yesterday she bought a bottle of whiskey and, for no particular reason, drank about a pint of it, then did the usual, alternating between sobbing over ridiculous things (this time, it's because we sold a cow) and wild speculation over all the terrible ways our neighbors are out to get us.

It was as annoying as ever, but she didn't start in on verbally abusing my husband, so we just left her to it.