Starting a Family in the UK vs US

Hello all. My husband (UKC) and I (USC) are quickly approaching the end of our 20s  and are beginning to think of planning for a family in our 30s.

We are currently living in the UK and constantly go back and forth on where we want to settle permanently, here or the US. I would love to hear pros and cons of both places on the following issues from your point of view:

Home/Community
Pregnancy Support
Birth
Maternity Leave (Especially if you are a teacher as I am looking to get credentialed)
Education

Thanks UKY experts...I'm sure there will be moms that have done either the US, the UK or both!

I think we can all say maternity leave is better here!

As for the rest of it, it depends on your situation.  If you are going to be living near your family in the US then perhaps that might be better for you.

It also depends on where you are in the UK.  Maternity services in my area are really overstretched.  I haven't seen the same midwife twice, every time I see someone I need to repeat everything.  I don't expect to see anyone I know at the birth.
Somehow my GP never knows what is going on, so I assume the hospital/midwives/GP don't actually trade any information. 

The birth is what you want in either country.  Want a hospital birth in the UK, you can get it.  Want a crunchy birth in the US, you can have to too.  This also depends on where you are.  Some places in the US are easier to have a midwife birth, our hospital in the UK frequently closes to births and then you are forced to travel about 30 miles to the next closest hospital, which I am sure is awesome when you are in labour.

Education, once again, depends on where you are in both the US and the UK.  If you are living in Massachusetts, they have one of the best educational outcomes in the world, like in the top five for reading and top ten for science.  If you live in Alabama, maybe not so much.  The UK has good areas and bad areas for schools as well. 

The CFO at my old company told me to be sure to move AWAY from the US when I have kids.  lol!

The US has a very low allowance for maternity leave.  You can take a year off in the UK and still have a job to return to.

I'm sure it's dependant on where you live, but it seems to be a stronger community feel in the UK versus the US.  Most people I talk to and explain about the struggle of making friends and feeling a part of the community here say that they didn't feel part of their community until they had kids.  The classes you take seem to create an instant group of friends who are in the same place in life as you as well as get you more involved in neighborhood activities and such.  I'm sure that this can be true to the US as well.  I didn't live in a small town in the US like I do in the UK.

We are fortunate that here in the UK, my in-laws live only 15 minutes away and will be able to be actively involved when we have kids.  However, they are talking about moving and that makes me nervous.  I really don't want us to be in a position where our kids do not have any family nearby.  Neither of our siblings live in the UK and our kids won't have any cousins that live in the same country as them, which makes me sad.  I think cousins are usually your first friends!

Basically there are pros and cons of both countries and I honesty believe your experience will be what you choose to make of it.

I'm 35 weeks pregs - due next month with our first! i think the categories you've chosen depend on where you live in the US and UK.  We just moved to the UK early this year and all of the things on your list are better here in the UK (for us) cf. to the US. 

Having said that, we are strongly considering moving back to the US for other categorical reasons - quality of life, income, and weather!  salaries are generally much higher in the big cities than they are here and bills are cheaper in the US (again, generally).  don't get me started on the weather! Most importantly, i think baby will be happy where its parents are happy. 

And lastly, having said all of that, I am glad to be pregnant here in the UK and happy to be giving birth here without all of the health insurance conundrum that is in the US.

good luck on your decision!

Hello
I have a 2 1/2 yr old that was born in the UK
I have found it difficult not having family around
For support and also giving up work to look after her
Has been a challenge.
We are using nursery as her extended family as her real
Family isn't around. !!!!
I think it depends on what is impt to u
Having a career as well ? Long maternity leave ? Family around ?
I personally think I would find it easier if we had
Family nearby but hubby has a good job in the UK
And this has now become home. I like being by
The sea it's a difficult decision good luck x

I think you can make your pregnancy be however you want it no matter where you are. It can be as hands off as you want or everything can be planned out to a T if that's what you want (but be aware it probably won't go that way  ). There are midwives here, birthing centers, hospitals, whatever you want. As for pregnancy support and education, you can go to a million different classes if you want, read books at home, or just go into it cold. I know women in all three categories (although I would recommend at least reading a book or two!). I had my baby in the US, but I have lots of good friends who had their babies in the UK and Ireland. Resources are available in all of these countries if you want to use them. We all went to some form of a pre-natal class. We all had to pay some sort of fee to do it. Some went to pregnancy yoga, I did aqua zumba, some did nothing. We all have healthy babies.

As for maternity leave and teaching. I have a friend here in the US who is a teacher. She was able to take off the entire year (unpaid) and was guaranteed a job in that district (possibly not the job she left) when she returned. I have a relative who is able to take a sabbatical for a year from teaching 5th grade because he has a master's degree and he's been teaching long enough. And of course you have off in the summers. So no, maternity leave in the US generally sucks, but teachers do have some extra perks that other might not have.

I always say that both countries have good health systems. They're just different. I agree that you need to think about your personal situation. What kind of family support do you need/want? That kind of thing. My parents live 1.5 hours away from us right now, which is great, but some days I'd kill for them to live next door.

I have two kids, both born in the UK, so I'll go in on this conversation. I'm a bit tired, as kids can do that to you, so bear with mr.

Hands down the maternity leave situation here is amazing. I had 13 months with my first, and with my second I had a year, with my childcare vouchers paid for, and when I chose not to return, they didn't require me to pay them back or do anything. I have a friend who is a government employee in the states, she had her baby 6 weeks ago and is going back to work in two weeks. Its a disgrace.

I love the care you get here during pregnancy, it's not treated as a medical condition, and I really loved meeting all the different midwives, and even though the hospital I was in wasn't an American style maternity ward, I had great experiences. I liked being in a ward with other women, I am still friends with the lady who was in the bed across from me!

Babygroups...best.thing.ever.  So basically, any day of the week, morning or afternoon, I can go to a church hall, pop my baby in a bouncy chair, sit down and have someone bring me a cup of tea! Not to mention I can gab with other new mothers and make tons of friends! Holy crap! That's my idea of heaven! I am still friends with women I met at baby group almost 8 years ago!

We don't have any family near us here in Manchester, but I didn't find it difficult at all, I have a wonderful network of friends and all I have to do is ask for help! I made so many friends through having the kids, and I keep on meeting more people and making more friends! Kids are awesome for that!

One last thing, I was ble to give up work and stay at home with the kids, that is not something I could have done in NY where I am from, the cost of houses, property tax and the cost of living in general would make it difficult to survive there for us. I've been here for like 20 years and it's definitely home for me.

I have two kids, both born in the UK, so I'll go in on this conversation. I'm a bit tired, as kids can do that to you, so bear with mr.

Hands down the maternity leave situation here is amazing. I had 13 months with my first, and with my second I had a year, with my childcare vouchers paid for, and when I chose not to return, they didn't require me to pay them back or do anything. I have a friend who is a government employee in the states, she had her baby 6 weeks ago and is going back to work in two weeks. Its a disgrace.

I love the care you get here during pregnancy, it's not treated as a medical condition, and I really loved meeting all the different midwives, and even though the hospital I was in wasn't an American style maternity ward, I had great experiences. I liked being in a ward with other women, I am still friends with the lady who was in the bed across from me!

Babygroups...best.thing.ever.  So basically, any day of the week, morning or afternoon, I can go to a church hall, pop my baby in a bouncy chair, sit down and have someone bring me a cup of tea! Not to mention I can gab with other new mothers and make tons of friends! Holy crap! That's my idea of heaven! I am still friends with women I met at baby group almost 8 years ago!

We don't have any family near us here in Manchester, but I didn't find it difficult at all, I have a wonderful network of friends and all I have to do is ask for help! I made so many friends through having the kids, and I keep on meeting more people and making more friends! Kids are awesome for that!

One last thing, I was ble to give up work and stay at home with the kids, that is not something I could have done in NY where I am from, the cost of houses, property tax and the cost of living in general would make it difficult to survive there for us. I've been here for like 20 years and it's definitely home for me.

Thank you racheeeee...it was nice hearing someone's personal experience.

This seems totally relevant:
Mapping children's chances
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22688596

This seems totally relevant:
Mapping children's chances
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22688596

Awesome page!

I've been doing a bit of light research for the same reason as the OP, and came across this:
http://io9.com/the-cost-of-pregnancy-in-america-is-f-cking-obscene-635765598

Based on an article in the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/01/health/american-way-of-birth-costliest-in-the-world.html

I see someone already posted the BBC map I was going to add

Awesome page!

Off topic but the person/team doing the interactive thingies at bbc.co.uk/news/ is great.

Depends on where in the UK you live I think.  We live twenty minutes walk from my in-laws in Coventry and had a fantastic birth at George Eliot hospital in Nuneaton. They are opening up a new midwife led unit at our local hospital soon that sounds really great as well (went to an NCT talk by the midwife in charge of it last night).

We totally think we did the right thing having kids here, the actual hospital costs were limited to parking and scan photos!