We would rather not seek assistance, as it seems to cost a fortune. I am trying to understand the forms etc on this forum, as a guide to complete it ourselves.
Was the 2010 return timely filed in 2011 (including extensions while waiting for her to qualify for FEIE), or, are you saying her income was below the basic threshold and there was no need to file the 2010 return?
As for 2012 (not filed in 2013):
If you prefer not to use assistance, there are 3 alternatives:
1)
Do use assistance for 2012, and then use that as a template/guide for filing for 2013 onwards. It may be worth the expense.
2) Try using tax software (like TurboTax?) that will allow filing late returns. If your wife's return is simple, it may not be too difficult.
3) Your wife will have to file for 2012 onwards (forever), so you may try to complete the forms yourself. It will take time, patience, and a good deal of research, but you will learn the system, and following years will be easier. It is possible to do.
It's your decision as to how and when you file the 2012 return. Once filed, the IRS will either agree to the submission, or if they have a problem, they will be in contact with you (this could take up to 3 years). It would be unfair to suggest what their response may be. But, it will have to be filed.
So if we file a FBAR now, are we likely to face penalties / problems?
Only the US Treasury knows the answer to that. File the 2012 FBAR, note that you made a mistake by not filing (and you've timely filed for 2010 and 2011?), and see what happens. There is a risk, but it will have to be filed at some point. Again, paid assistance may offer the best possible outcome given the circumstances. You can complete subsequent years yourself.