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Topic: Mental Exhaustion  (Read 1803 times)

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Mental Exhaustion
« on: November 04, 2004, 08:18:48 PM »
I'm so, so tired.  It's been not quite two months since leaving the UK...

During all of the madness and organizing in the last weeks in England, which included the movers and my DH's visa interview, I felt like I was on autopilot.  It all seems a big blur now.

I thought that once I got here,  into our new home and org anizing our stuff upon it's arrival, that I would feel energized and ready to take on this new phase in life.

Instead, I feel absolutely exhausted.  Apart from organizing my boys' rooms and putting away some things, I just can't lift myself up to do anything.  I take my son to school, and basically drift around the house and look after my three year old.  My energy level is zilch.

I keep thinking that I'll be more energetic the following day, but that hasn't happened yet.

I'm not depressed; just mentally switched off.  After more than six months of planning, anxiety, anticipation, etc., we're here and I just don't want to think about anything, or do anything.  Apart from getting my son do and from school, I have no deadlines and as such, no motivation.

Is this normal? 
"Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens." -
Douglas Jerrold


Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2004, 08:30:55 PM »
Yeah, pretty normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. Coming back will take almost as long to settle in as it was in the UK. Take time off, watch tv, hang out with the family. The energy will come back in time.


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2004, 08:34:04 PM »
I was not in Scotland for eight years, but none the less, when I returned home I found it exhausting as well.  The first few days were fine.  But after a while (and it's still happening having been home for a few months) I got sick and tired of telling the same story to everyone who asked why I returned, or how long I'd been back, or "what was it like?" and "do they eat the same food as us?" and every other question in the world about where I had been.

In addition to that, re-learning the "American" way of things.  And feeling out of touch with your "home land" in a variety of ways.  I feel as if I am getting back to normal now, and I'm sure that you will get there eventually, too.  Some days, however, I just wish we were in Edinburgh...far from my family and "everyone" I know...


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2004, 11:50:32 PM »
Thanks for your kind words. 

I always feel better knowing it's not me.  It's just so hard to explain to people how draining the whole thing is.  And I do wish I had more energy to get my new home in order, I just really and truly don't feeling like dealing with anything that doesn't require it.

I'm working on the basis that since nothing is tied into any timescales, I've had my share of details.  It's not going anywhere!

"Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens." -
Douglas Jerrold


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2004, 01:09:20 AM »
Its MelanieB here.

Sorry to here you are sooooo exhausted.  Although I do know the feeling oh so well.  We have been here (S.A. Tx) since Sept 28th, and in that time, I managed to get my job back that I had before I left, got the boys in childcare, bought a Jeep, and we bought a house, that we just moved into last weekend.  Talk about exhausted.  But nonetheless I am pleased. 

It took us 2 months to complete on our house in the UK, and it only took us 2 wks to complete here. Pretty crazy huh?  Anyway, I hope you get back on your feet from the exhaustion, it may take awhile seeing the holidays are just right around the corner.

Well you take care,

Melanieb
timeline:
3 May - I-130 mailed
16 Jun - DS230 mailed
13 Jul - NOA received
15 Jul - Interview on 17 Aug
17 Aug - Got VISA


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2004, 01:13:47 PM »
Thanks Melanie,

This weekend was a boost - the weather was beautiful here.  We spent a lot of time outside and what made me feel particularly good, was that our boys have made friends with the two boys who live two doors down.  They just ran through the neighbour's yard (who doesn't mind); no fences here.  So it's great to see them making friends.

Nice weather is a mood enhancer.

Quote
It took us 2 months to complete on our house in the UK, and it only took us 2 wks to complete here. Pretty crazy huh?

Extremely nuts.  I know we had conversations on this topic, back in July/August... I'm glad that your sale, etc. fell into place.

We closed extremely fast on our house here.  With all of the chaos of the move, I was convinced that I forgot something, and I'd screw up the purchase!!!  I've gotta stop being so neurotic!

So now, I've rephrased my "condition" and I'm telling people that I'm taking a "mental vacation."

Mel, thanks for your kind words; I'm glad it's all fallen into place for you.  Happy housewarming!

Kellie
"Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens." -
Douglas Jerrold


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2004, 01:47:58 PM »
We moved here in July and I just finished emptying the last box out.  Granted it is now in a pile to be put away.  I so know that feeling of being brain dead.  We still have two storage type rooms to paint and fix as well my FIL room which is the only room to remain in it's musty, funky, icky state. 

I just can't bear the thought of having to deal with it.

What happened to us is we hit the ground running working every day all day and then got to a point it all seemed overwhelming so we shut down.  Now we are back but boy it is still a pain.

I think everyone deserves a brain holiday... it makes you better prepared to deal with everything later!
The wiring in our brain is not static, not irrevocably fixed.  Our brains are adaptable. -Mattieu Ricard

Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn. -Benjamin Franklin

I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions. -D.Day


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2004, 04:14:40 PM »
I think I'll rewrite Cliff Richard's song.

Everybody is welcome to join in, if you feel the need to:

We're all going on a "mental holiday",
We're all going for a, week or two...."


"Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens." -
Douglas Jerrold


Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2004, 10:23:41 PM »
Wow, cant believe its been nearly two months already! Where are you living by the way? The burbs im guessing?
Well I cannot imagine what you are going through. I went to the USA for a week and now that Im back I feel I am still exhausted. Is it the time of year or what?
I hope now that things are sorted around your house you can chill out and take in some good Old Orchard xmas shopping! They have a great Italian restaurant there that serves a HEAP of spaghetti and meatballs. Have a bowl and some cheese cake for me!
Nothing better than xmas time in chicago! im so jealous!!
Please take care and take some time for yourself
<hugs> Ricki x


Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2004, 07:53:58 AM »
I foresee me being brain dead by the time we arrive in the US as well. I'm not starting any of the visa stuff till after Christmas (so we can enjoy our last holiday as a family somewhat stress-free), but like you, the ensuing months will be chaotic. Visa, house sale, transporting of pets, a bit of travelling before the transatlantic flight......and now......putting together a baby shower in the middle of all this for my DIL and my first GRANDBABY!!!!!!!!! Can anybody say ACK?!?!?! lol


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2004, 03:05:57 PM »
Quote
I foresee me being brain dead by the time we arrive in the US as well. I'm not starting any of the visa stuff till after Christmas (so we can enjoy our last holiday as a family somewhat stress-free), but like you, the ensuing months will be chaotic. Visa, house sale, transporting of pets, a bit of travelling before the transatlantic flight......and now......putting together a baby shower in the middle of all this for my DIL and my first GRANDBABY!!!!!!!!! Can anybody say ACK?!?!?! lol

Good luck!  Amazingly, things usually fall into place, albeit at an unimaginable pace.  When do you hope to move?

Pebs, thanks for your support!  I'm going out next weekend with my cousin, another cousin's wife and her sister.  Look out!  We're all mom's and are looking forward to good time.

I'm out in St. Charles.  It's gorgeous out here.  The boys are making friends and it's wonderful to see them just running through the yards to play.  They're all open; no fencing...and all of the neighbors have kids so nobody cares.  It's really friendly.

As for myself, we inherited a hot tub with the house so DH and I make the most of that after the kids go to bed.  It's a great way to relax and de-stress...

I know that you don't get to travel often; it's hard with kids.  But if you EVER are in or passing through Chicago, you MUST let me know!  I'd love to hook up and I can take you shopping, out to eat, etc., etc.   ;)
"Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens." -
Douglas Jerrold


Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2004, 03:20:53 PM »
Kellie- I'm envious of the hot tub!!!!!!!!! That's got to help a bit with the stress and exhaustion! :)

We are looking at July to move. The grandbaby is due end of May, first of June. DH is waiting for his bonus in June before quitting the company. So....sometime after that!

Any ideas how much in advance do you need to book the flights for animals (same flight as us)?? Just wondering, as DH wants to do a bit of travelling right before we leave. I foresee quite a bit of maneuvering right towards the end...ugh


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Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2004, 03:58:43 PM »
We left booking our cat's flight quite close to the end.  We flew on BA; cat on the same flight.  It's best to check the airlines to see what their requirements are.  You'll need a specific kennel which has compartments for food and water. 

There was a requirement that the animal had to have a check up and OK from the vet within, I think, seven days of flying.  Our vet was superb and had a lot of information for  animals travelling abroad.  So check with yours.

Also, you should check with the Dept of Health about requirements for pets entering the country.  These kinds of things change.  The Dept of Health also referred me to the appropriate State department, since each state has different requirements... details, details.

You must be looking forward to your first grandchild.  What a wonderful thing to return to.  Best of luck!!!!
"Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens." -
Douglas Jerrold


Re: Mental Exhaustion
« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2004, 04:17:50 PM »
Actually, I'll be leaving the grandbaby behind.....the parents are born and bred Brits  :\\\'(

Oh well, wonder excuse to make frequent trips back here!


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