Marriage breakdown

So it looks like I spoke too soon about the claiming any money. I had a letter from solicitors wanting details of my banking, house valuation, earnings within 14 days.
I was just starting to feel a little bit better and now it's back to that gut churning feeling.
I'll go and see a solicitor again and get advice on what to do.

When will this all be over ?

Oh man, I'm sorry I know you just want it over but unfortunately going through a divorce means it's going to be just that extra bit more difficult to end things. Was it your solicitor or one of hers? I would maybe prepare by showing where/who the money being withdrawn went (if you can prove that it was her, even if it's a bit of an ar*se-ache to do) and printing out records of your communication and see what your solicitor has to say about all that.

Hopefully this is just standard stuff and will go quickly.

I know it's been a while but do you have any updates?  I hope that things are going well for you.  I agree that an international relationship is difficult, for both parties, due to the nature of depending on each other and trust.

I take it that you have record of when the marriage began and when she moved out as well as showing that you alone deposited money into the accounts and paid bills?  Please don't get too stressed, divorce is expensive but it'll work out!

Hi Larissa...
You've asked for an update..  Here it is. To answer your questions.. Yes I Had/Have recorded details of everything that went on along with paperwork of everything that was spent from the start to finish of the relationship and visa costs etc.
The divorce all said and done including visits to solicitors was just shy of £800. It costs £550 to pay the courts.. The rest was solicitors.

After sorting out all the paperwork for the divorce,,  it was finally made absolute in mid July.
I ignored the demand from her solicitors for my financial details.. and the subsequent letter that came in early August. Using divorce calculators and going into claims made and given in situations like mine with the short length of time and contrinutions, I decided to fight any monetary claim made by her.
I've heard nothing since and am guessing that it may be that it'll cost far more to fight than she's likely to be awarded.

They say time is a great healer and that is the truth. I hope that I have drawn a line under this whole thing.  I feel hope again for the future but will never again put myself in a position where someone can take half of everything.
My advice is to draw up a prenuptial agreement to save yourselves from a LOT of all consuming worry and anxiety.

If anyone needs advice on DIY divorce then just PM me and I'll help if I can.

All the best everyone and I truly hope that you all have better luck than I did.

Big hugs!

Been there, done that, got the tshirt.  It sucks!

I hope you find someone so awesome that you want to marry again!   

I’m happy to hear that you’re feeling a bit of hope again despite what you’ve gone through!


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I forgot to mention...  I received a letter from the visa authority curtailment section in regards to the letter and form I sent off saying that our relationship had ceased to exist.
They acknowledged that I was no longer expected to be financially responsible for her upkeep and welfare. They also said that they were not going to revoke the visa and that she free to stay for the duration of it.

Thanks for kind words of encouragement.. I've spent long enough grieving for what was lost and it's time now to look at future with new eyes and mended heart

This whole ordeal sounds so sad (and stressful!).  I hope that wasn't a typo where you said the divorce costs were £800, for court fees and solicitor.  If that's accurate, it sounds like you aren't out too much, financially.  The real cost is your trust in people and relationships.  Hopefully, you'll heal over time and you will find someone worthy of your trust with whom you can share a happy future.

Hi Fred. Happy you are mending. 

If anyone needs advice on DIY divorce then just PM me and I'll help if I can.

Thanks for the offer but really hoping none of us have to take you up on it! 

That's great news!  I'm pleased that it's done and a line is drawn under it.

I'm not sure how much effect pre-nups have in the UK because it's a community property area (I totally just used US wording).  I'm well aware that my husband actually owns half of the business I've built up during our time together.

I'm pleased that you're on the mend, out very little financially in the grand scheme, and hopefully well on your way to mending emotionally

They acknowledged that I was no longer expected to be financially responsible for her upkeep and welfare. They also said that they were not going to revoke the visa and that she free to stay for the duration of it.

Thanks for kind words of encouragement.. I've spent long enough grieving for what was lost and it's time now to look at future with new eyes and mended heart

I'm glad to see you have sorted this. Trying to go for your money too was just too much.

If there isn't much time left on a visa, then UKVI just let that run out to give them time to pack up and leave. Or they can use that limited time to try to to stay by putting in a valid, in time, application for another visa, if they are allowed to switch (in country) to that visa.

If they overstay now, then they get hit by the two new immigration laws: DVLA revoke their driving licence, UKVI advise the NHS that they must now be billed, bank accounts are closed, landlords are not allowed to house them even if it is a room rented in their own house, it's a criminal offence to work etc