Considering a move to the UK

Hello everyone!

How glad I am to have found this website and this forum in particular! I've just spent an hour reading through all the posts in this forum and seeing so many of my questions addressed and answered, plus "getting to know" some of you through your posts. Nice to meet you!

My husband and I are seriously considering moving (basically we've decided to) to the UK in a couple of years and I am so nervous/excited about it. Our main reason for moving is that we want to have the best quality of family life and we'd like to have 3 or 4 kids.

A little about me: I'm 26 and from New York City. My husband is English and moved here to be with me on a fiance visa in 2003--we've now been married for a little over a year. Before that we dated long-distance for 2 years. As a couple, we love our life in New York and are surrounded by friends and family. But it doesn't look likely that we'll be able to raise a family here because of the high cost of living (we can't afford any apartment bigger than our own 2-bedroom is a decent neighborhood), the high cost of child care (most quality daycare providers run at least $1000 a month, which we just can't spare) and maternity benefits (virtually non-existent, even for teachers like me).

It just seems like it would be better for us in the UK, assuming we could get jobs. I am a high school teacher and from everything I've seen and read, it shouldn't be so hard for me to find work (and my mother-in-law is also a teacher so she can give me help in this area). My husband is a software developer/business intelligence specialist and though from our online searches it seems like most of those jobs are in the London area, surely there must be something in Sheffield or a commutable distance from it? Oh yes--if we move to the UK, we'll be moving to Sheffield since that's where Kieryn's family is and his mother has volunteered to provide childcare.

Anyway, from reading through this board I've come to the conclusion that moving to the UK just might be our best bet at being able to have a good family life, though there will be huge sacrifices--namely, being so far from close friends and family.

One thing I wonder is how easy it is to make friends in the UK? I am generally a very open and friendly person and I'm not sure I would know how to respond to the "English reserve" I hear so much about. I'm used to being pretty comfortable and open with people from the start and I wouldn't want to be perceived as intrusive or "too American" or whatever. I guess I'm afraid of being lonely. Sure, I'll have my husband and his family and friends, but I'd like to eventually also make some of my own--you know, friends I could call up and chat with from time to time, or go out to the movies with, etc. Have you guys found it easy to make friends in the UK? How do you meet people?

Anyway, just introducing myself!   

--Grace

Welcome aboard, Grace and best wishes with your move.  As far as making friends, some people find it more difficult but others don't.  I'd take it as it comes because each situation is different.

hi,  nice to meet you, too!
I agree with Cait about the friends and when you have chidren here, it's even easier to meet peope in the UK!  They have tons of playgroups, and if you don't have chidren, they have interest groups (people get together to do whatever is interesting to them, ei: walking, painting, books, etc...)  I have found the English to be almost more sociable than Americans, who are too busy, and a little superficial.... ANYWAY, if you are positive, you will have a positive experience! 
 There are lot more good reasons to come--but you MAY need to consider the cost of living one--I am still baffled at the amout things cost here!!  (unless Sheffield is different than the southeast)
Good luck

Hi & welcome...I haven't had a problem making friends with Brits...I basically just joined in doing something I love (field hockey) and that was that.  They actually love the fact that I'm an American and willing to do the social thing right with them.  And it's how I met my BF too!  So - just join groups (reading, play, etc), be open and friendly and you'll do fine!

making friends here for me is slow going but dies indeed happen!

something to keep in mind, the cost of living in england is pretty high.  I know there are plenty of areas where it isn't.....just do your research on where you want to live.

we're moving back to the states to have children as the quality of life we can give them there is much higher than here.  someday, we may move back here (retirement time) but our family will be raised in the US (east coast).

we're moving back to the states to have children as the quality of life we can give them there is much higher than here.

This is in your opinion - which you are entitled to, of course.  Just as I am entitled to the opinion that the life I've been able to give my children here runs rings around the life we had in the US.

 

Hi there, I'm from NYC too!  

I have to admit I was lucky, a lot of my friends I met through my DH.  I've made my own friends as well when I started working which was great!  I also have friends here at UKY which has been great!

This is in your opinion - which you are entitled to, of course. Just as I am entitled to the opinion that the life I've been able to give my children here runs rings around the life we had in the US.

 

Opps, that is very true!!!!!!  It is indeed my opinion (should have stated that).

What i want can be very different than what others want.

then again, what i'd love is to see my children all dressed in uniforms like they do here without having to pay an arm and a leg for private school tuition!

We don't have children but I do believe the UK is a nice place to raise them. As for making friends.....everyone has a different experience. We live in the Reading (on a different planet then the rest of the UK) and I have found it difficult, however I have also worked up north in Manchester with alot of folks throughout the north (not just Manchester) and find the people wonderful, kind and friendly!  

As Aimiloo said.....the cost of living is pretty high in most places...so do alot of research.

Julie

Sounds like you have made your minds up - so go for it!

We recently came to live in Yorkshire, searching for that illusive concept 'a better quality of life'!!  We had been living in London for a long time and the arrival of kids/school issues prompted a change.  We miss London, but love living here in Yorkshire.

Yes, people in the UK are generally more reserved, but people 'up north' are generally less reserved and I'm sure you'd get to know people here.  My wife (from VA) found that she got to know a lot of people through her teaching job, so she has lots of her own friends as well as getting to know my friends (I'm British) - there are lots of clubs/night schools that you can join - a rich source of potential friendships and if you're planning to have kids, then that's the ultimate way to meet people!!

Sheffield is a great place, definitely on the up, but becoming increasingly expensive - you may want to check out property web sites to get an idea of what you can afford.

Good luck with it all and remember you can always move around from US to UK and vice versa and within the US/UK!