Hey,
1. I arrived on 15 February 2017. Can anyone confirm which date I can apply from? BRP doesn't expire until October.
You can apply up to 28 days before you reach 30 months (2.5 years) in the UK. So, if you entered on 15th February 2017, you will reach 30 months on 15th August 2019... which means you can apply from 18th July 2019 onwards.
2. I have kept every bill, statement, etc that has arrived ever because of this. It is still 6 pieces of mail to prove we live together, evenly spaced? Is that if they are joint mail? So if something is to just me we need 12 pieces of mail?
Yes, to all of that.
It is:
- 6 items of mail in each name (so, 6 joint, or 12 separate, or a combination of both, giving 6 each)
- from at least 3 different official sources
- spread evenly over the final 2 years before applying (i.e. July 2017 to July 2019)... which is 1 in each name every 4 months
- if they are separately addressed for a particular period, they should be dated as close to each other as possible (i.e. both dated mid-July)
3. We get paid into our own personal accounts and then transfer money to a joint account. I think we will likely use only my husband's income because I have 2 jobs and my pay changes every month. I make the amount but it's just less hassle to go with his regular paycheck. In that case, are my personal statements acceptable as mail? Are our joint statements acceptable as mail to both of us, since the payslip will be matched to my husband's personal bank account?
You can use either of your bank statements towards the 6 items of mail, and yes, joint statements are acceptable.
4. I've seen a lot of changes but can't keep up. Do we now need to go in person for these appointments rather than just mailing? Or is that just a premium option?
You have to pay £610 extra for a premium appointment, which gives a decision within 24 hours. If you don't want to pay the extra £610, you can apply by post.
5. Can someone pour me a drink to get me through this? 
I'm pouring a virtual drink for you

.