Hello hullo

I’m very glad to have found this site for ex-pats. I was chuckling as I read the differences thread (soapy dishes in the rack—gross!) and felt a ring of recognition.

My English husband and I are thinking of moving (back, for him) to the UK from Silicon Valley in about a year and a half. We have two children, who would be coming into English secondary school.

We’re motivated by many reasons, including (in part) wanting to see more of our UK family, have an adventure (for me and our kids), escape the mass shootings, experience a less pressurized school track (for our kids) and perhaps buy a modest 4-bedroom bungalow for less than $3M (the median where we currently rent). We do have a child with special needs, and making the child’s transition smooth while maintaining appropriate supports is my primary concern; I hope to join the private parenting sub-forum on that topic.

I’m very glad to have found this site for ex-pats. I was chuckling as I read the differences thread (soapy dishes in the rack—gross!) and felt a ring of recognition.

My English husband and I are thinking of moving (back, for him) to the UK from Silicon Valley in about a year and a half. We have two children, who would be coming into English secondary school.

We’re motivated by many reasons, including (in part) wanting to see more of our UK family, have an adventure (for me and our kids), escape the mass shootings, experience a less pressurized school track (for our kids) and perhaps buy a modest 4-bedroom bungalow for less than $3M (the median where we currently rent). We do have a child with special needs, and making the child’s transition smooth while maintaining appropriate supports is my primary concern; I hope to join the private parenting sub-forum on that topic.

Welcome to the forum! Happy you found us! 

Welcome!

Please do some reading on SEND schooling. Unfortunately 10 years of funding cuts have meant that many schools and councils are not meeting their statutory requirements for them right now. If you have money, everything will be OK because you can probably find a private school that meets those needs, but if not it is entirely a postcode lottery and slow moving machinery. There are also medication differences between the countries if that may also be a factor.

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Thank you! Thanks as well for the pointer to SEND schooling. I will do some research.

Welcome to the forum.  There will be a lot to navigate and a lot more questions as you go.  Feel free to ask any and all.

My kids are young (eldest is in Year 1), but I'm a governor over a body of schools in England, so know some bits.

Always keep in mind that the grass isn't necessarily going to be greener (well, it might literally be because of the rain. lol!)  But I'm sure life is very hard in silicon valley.  I'm always a big believer in living where your support system is (I say this as we have ZERO family support).  We have amazing friends and babysitters.  Family help - nope.  Which makes moving to the US rather attractive. 

Thank you! Yes, this year in particular we have observed our children expressing anxiety and stress around both academics and social life. Silicon Valley seems to encourage and reward behaviors that are not necessarily reasonable or empathetic, and competitiveness among both adults and children can be ruthless to the point of pathological. At the same time, creativity and quirkiness are tolerated or even celebrated, especially if linked to what will turn out to be a great investment.

That is an excellent point about living where one's support system is. Our special needs child does have excellent support at the current school but will have to switch schools in a year (graduating from middle to high school) and the high schools here are notorious for pressure-cooking students though in the past few years administrators have been taking steps to address that. We are blessed to have supportive family and friends in both the US and the UK. It is daunting to consider finding new doctors and therapists after having ones we like very much here.