Maybe you'll find this article interesting, it's written by a surgeon who gets a diagnosis of prostrate cancer. He writes about "the talk" with an oncologist from the point of view of both a patient and doctor.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/13/brain-surgeon-henry-marsh-doctor-patient-prostate-cancer
Of course, before I hit post, everything I wrote disappeared. I found this very interesting though. And I think my SIL who is a surgeon is one of "these" doctors. She's a fitness fanatic and cycles everywhere. She probably does think "patient" "doctor". I'm sure it gets her through the day.
I was given a good knowledge piece yesterday. Apparently legislation went into place (not sure when and how long it's been in place) around doctors and their Duty of Care. The doctors Duty of Care must remain clinical and factual. They are LEGALLY not allowed to be fluffy and such. As some patients only hear that one piece of positive and then are surprised at the negatives. I'm the opposite, tell me a thousand positives and one negative and I'll focus on that one negative... I know I'm not alone in that.
Yesterday was good. My daughter had diving and I've become very close to the "diving mums". There are 4 of us. Me, a dentist, a pub owner (woohoo!), and an anesthesiologist (at the hospital I go to). Last night my anesthesiologist friend (C) really gave me some wonderful knowledge. And her mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer years ago and is still here. I had been messaging privately with her but last night was the first time I saw her in person. Her sister is a breast oncologist in another part of the UK (northern England or Scotland, I'm not 100% sure). She asked for permission for her and her sister to look at my scans/results and treatment plans. I am so grateful to have people like this in my life. She also said that we shouldn't be scared of the C word the way we used to be. As the treatments are so advanced and so individually targeted for each person. Let's just say I came home, as asleep by 9pm and slept until my alarm at 8:45 this morning. I don't know if I've ever slept that well. My mind was finally quiet. It was amazing and much needed after a few tough, extremely emotional weeks.
My SIL who is properly Irish with over 100 first cousins is desperate to talk to me. We were supposed to talk last night, but as I had been on a hell of a roller coaster with my emotions yesterday, we've delayed to tonight or tomorrow. She says in her family everyone calls for the first sniffle, cough, bump, etc. Whereas she thinks she can ACTUALLY help us. She is going to give us questions to ask the oncologist from the insight she has from her two years training with the NHS. She says they will, of course, offer the best care they can. But sometimes you need the right language to get into certain trials/studies/etc.
My emotions have, of course, been all over the map. My husband is just so flipping unbelievable. But I want to find him a professional (we are told we will be given info Friday) for him to be able to talk to. He can be very British Stiff Upper Lip. And he needs to have someone he can go to and just say "THIS IS UNFAIR AND IT SUCKS AND I HATE IT" without worrying about me feeling guilty. He has known exactly what to say and when to say it. Which is a surprise, because normally he gets it wrong.
Sunday we went into our town centre for Nandos for dinner. I've been staying away from the news, as I find the Queen's death a bit too close for comfort right. You guys know I love to DO and I line the streets for all the big events (hey, us Americans gotta do our part, right?) Anyways, our town centre was shut during the day for the reading of the proclamation. I said to my husband that any other time, I would have been in the crowd as it's history and he shrugged and said, "We'll come into town for the next one." He is my perfect match and me and the kids are so lucky to have him. I look forward to being snarky and sarcastic to him again in the future.
I'm a bit soppy for him at the moment.
