Guilt trip about resigning from my US job

Kay, I disagree that I have more responsibilities. You have many more responsibilities working in a nursing home. You have people who depend on you and are emotionally attached to you. In fact, one of the main reasons that I chose to move to to the UK, rather than my fiance move to the US, is that I work in an office and help a company make a profit, while he is a support worker who takes care of disabled young people, and many of his clients have grown attached to him. (Two of them are coming to our wedding.) If I left my job, the people I work with might be upset and stressed out, but it wouldn't  hurt them the way my fiance's leaving his job would hurt his clients.  If it were simply a matter of finances, then he would be the one quitting his job and moving to a new  country as I earn lots more money than him, but this is about more than money.

I'm sorry, I probably did a bad thing by making you feel even more guilty now, but I had to let you know that I think your job is much more important than mine.

P.S. The only reason I'm not telling them right now is that I have to be in England Feb. 12 through Feb. 20 (my vacation is already scheduled) and if I tell them before I won't be allowed to go.  I plan to tell them as soon as I get back. 

Why would you not be allowed to go?
Surely if your vacation time is booked, it's yours to take?

I'm sure I'm being too sensitive here, but I do want to clarify, again, that I wasn't implying that anyone should replace their engagement rings.     I suggested a fake ring as a prop -- since sweetpeach's co-workers hadn't noticed her engagement ring and she's planning on returning from her holiday as a newly-engaged woman, I just thought it would be fun to show up with some big piece of bling-bling!    I have a fake ring because I love my REAL engagement ring so much that I don't want to risk damaging/losing it when we're travelling -- not because I'm concerned with what others think or because I'm unhappy with my ring.  DH could have gotten me a $20 silver band and I would have been happy with that.

Why would you not be allowed to go?
Surely if your vacation time is booked, it's yours to take?

I'm wondering that, too.  If I resigned today, I have eight days of holiday I've earned, but haven't taken.  So I'd work 22 days, and take the last 8 of my month's notice off.  Could you not resign two weeks before your holiday and use the last two weeks as part of the notice period?  (This is assuming you've earned the holiday time, of course.)

Why would you not be allowed to go?
Surely if your vacation time is booked, it's yours to take?

Once I gave notice, I would have to stay and prepare the office for when I am gone.  It would look really bad for me to go off on a holiday after I'd said I'm leaving.  Once I give notice, it would be expected for me to devote all my time to preparing everyone for my departure.  I'm trying to leave as good an impression as possible.

I'd have to doublecheck, but I'm pretty sure it even says in the rules that you are not allowed to take any vacation or personal days after you've given notice. I know you get cash back for unpaid vacation time.

Recently, a woman in my department transferred to another department. She was not allowed to leave and move to her new job until a replacement was hired, and she had to stay an additional week to make sure that the replacement was working out. They are very serious about people tying up loose ends before leaving.

Sounds less like a job and more like indentured servitude!

Sounds less like a job and more like indentured servitude!

I dunno. Sounds like a regular job in America to me. 

I think you're doing the right thing, Sweetpeach. Take the holiday and then give your notice. You're giving them plenty as it is and you don't owe them any more. If they can't find a replacement in time, then that's their problem, not yours.

Sounds less like a job and more like indentured servitude!

Well, considering that my company paid for 80% of my university tuiton and pays for people's health club memberships,  I don't think they treat their employees so badly.

I guess it is just what you are used to. I don't see giving up your vacation time after you've given notice as unreasonable. (You do get cash for the time you give up.)  There's nothing stopping me from walking into my job tomorrow morning, saying "Take this job and shove it!" and storming out.  But I don't want to burn my bridges behind me. I'd like to leave  the impression of being a loyal and responsible worker.  I could use references and networking help.  The parent company I work for, as well as many of the companies I work with,  have offices in England.  If I leave a good impression, maybe I can get a little assistance on my job search in England.

No Sarah, you didn't make feel even more guilty about leaving, I'm looking foward to it. I know after I'm married I'll be able to stay with a facility if I choose to stay in healthcare.

I just wanted to add that I am not offended by anything anyone said about rings.

Sweetpeach...  just wait until you get over here and start working!
The attitudes about work and time off are SO different to what you've got at the moment!!
NO WAY would any employer tell a staff member they couldnt take their holidays... unless the office had some rule about no more than X amount of people being off at the same time, or something like that.

NO WAY would any employer tell a staff member they couldnt take their holidays... unless the office had some rule about no more than X amount of people being off at the same time, or something like that.

And even then the manager would work with everyone to make sure they got their holiday.  We take our holidays here.  It's not seen as a badge of honour to work thru your holidays and get burned out; that's seen as stupid and counter-productive. 

It's the same here.   Everyone is entitled to a certain amount of holiday time (I get 20 days a year),  but sometimes things have to be arranged for special situations: for example, if more than one person want to be out at the same time, they can't both go, or if  it's a very busy time for someone--like before the tax deadline for an accountant--they would have to postpone their holiday.

My case is a special situation: taking a holiday after  giving notice of leaving the job. Even if it is allowed, in my opinion, it just seems tacky.

It's different in the UK. If you don't use your annual leave you lose it unless your employer allows you to roll it over to the next year, but they are under no obligation to do that.  You only get pay in lieu if you have outstanding leave when you leave a job.  You don't get paid out for unused sick leave either.

Every company in the US is different. Some companies pay for unused time, some don't. Some let you roll it over to the following year. My company doesn't pay you for unused time (except when you leave the company, which is a pretty special case.) It always used to annoy me because sometimes I have too much work to do, and it's just stressful to have to take time off when it just means I'm going to have to work overtime when I get back to catch up on my work; I'd rather just have the money.

When my mother worked for the city government, she rolled over so many unused sick days throughout her years of working that her last year of work, before she retired, she was able to work only 4 days a week.

P.S. Britwife, you are too fast for me. You replied before I finished editing my post

Sorry!

Yep it's tough when you can't take your leave because you're too busy at work ... that happened to me one year and then my boss (who had not let me take the leave in the first place)  insisted I take all the leave in one go so I had to take the whole of January off.  I won't let that happen again!