Anyone "Ferberizing" their baby?

In my ever long quest to get my son to sleep I cam across Dr R. Ferbers method. I am to the point of doing what I can. They say he will out grow it, but it has been over 7 months with getting up 2-3 times a night, with a max of 2 hours at a time of sleep. My mood is awful and I am beginning to resent the whole mom part of my life.

Anyone try this?

www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babysleep/7755.html

Go for it. You will be so glad you did. First couple days are rough, only in the sense you have to put up with a lot of protest. But if you stick to it, it gets easier and it mightn't even take you the week to establish the routine. Are you still night feeding?

Is he napping during the day?  Maybe it's time to go from two naps to one so he'll sleep in longer stretches at night.  Are you nursing or bottle feeding?  What time are you putting him down at night?

Personally, I wouldn't use the Ferber method because I don't believe in letting a baby cry it out.

Regardless of how you feel right now, he WILL outgrow it. 

This sounds similar to good ole Dr Spock.

I tend to start off by putting Ethan in his cot when he starts looking sleepy and leave him alone playing with his cot toys for a while with the light on. After 5-10 minutes I tuck him in lights go off. He usually drops off a few moniutes later - say about 75% of the time. The other 25% I just cuddle him til he goes off. I don't think there's anything wrong with cuddling a baby to sleep, but if you're having to do it all several times a night at 7 months, I can understand you must be feeling exhausted by now.  You might as well give the Ferber method a go - it can't hurt to try for a few days anyway.

Good luck.

Are you still night feeding?

Yes, but I have noticed the last few nights he is fine with only an ounce. So he only needs the comforting I think.

Is he napping during the day? Maybe it's time to go from two naps to one so he'll sleep in longer stretches at night. Are you nursing or bottle feeding? What time are you putting him down at night?

Personally, I wouldn't use the Ferber method because I don't believe in letting a baby cry it out.

Regardless of how you feel right now, he WILL outgrow it.

He naps for about an hour total. He naps at about 30 minutes each time. Mid morning and early afternoon. Bottle feeding. And he goes to bed about 8PM.

Stella Marie:
How many nights did it take for you? Did you start out with the five minutes the first night and each time that night stick with five minutes? What time did you do the next night? How did you handle the crying? What was the crying like? I read that it can be severe as someone is pulling a limb off. I am not sure if I could handle it. But it's worth a try.

It took us about a week, with occasional follow-ups. We started with 5 mins and increased it 5 mins more each night. Really once we got to 20 mins, it was sorted. As for the crying, believe me, one or two nights of 10 minutes of howling is wonderful compared to endless nights of bouts of crying every hour or so. Especially when the pay-off is setting the routine of full night's sleep. It sounds like you're about the time to wean the night feeds which will help too. As for the crying, I was gunshy about starting this process, it was my husband who insisted. However the first night, not even 3 minutes into the first 5, he cracked and begged me to let him run up to cuddle our daughter. It was funny. We waited for the 5 minutes and then soothed her, then left the room and did the timed responses as nessecary (which decreased as she tired out).

It's not as if you are leaving your baby to cry forever and being heartless and cruel. 5 minutes is not that long, and as long as he's crying you know he's alright, and you know that you will be going to him. Being a parent is partially about training behavior, and this is one of those instances. However you decide to deal with the transition, good luck!

Stella Marie,

How long did you stay in the room after the 5 minutes? I have only seen how you should reassure the child, not a lenght of time put on it. It could take ages to calm a crying child down all the way. From what I read you should go in let the child know you are there for them and leave, am I correct in this?

Pretty much, because the point is to not get into the whole dynamic of staying until the kid is asleep - you are teaching your child how to sooth themselves, how to fall asleep themselves. So you go in, let your child know everything is ok, that you're there for them, pat and cuddle or whatever you do, and then you go out again. This time you let the kid cry for 5 minutes longer than what you started. So if it is your first night, you put the kid down and if he starts to cry, you give it 5 mins before you go in. Once you have reassured him - even if he's still crying - you leave and wait 10 minutes (if he is still crying) to go in and repeat the process. If you need to (and you might the first couple nights), you wait 15 minutes if he is still crying (what a pair of lungs!) before you go in. Soon enough however the little tyke will be asleep because he's just to tired to carry on. In the morning he will not wake up hurt or resentful. In fact he may even be a bit cheery because he had a good night's sleep (and so did you!).

The next night you do the same thing, only you give him 10 mins out of the starting gate before you go to reassure him. After you reassure him, you wait 15 minutes before going to him.

It's been 3 years since we did this, so do check your resources to be sure. I'm pretty sure that's how we did it but I do remember following the book we had pretty close, so it would be a good idea for you to check and have a resource handy when you start.

This was also good for us because it was a good introduction for being able to withstand tantrums.

Stella Marie,

Thanks!

Jess

Good luck!

I always know when Jack is over tired. When hes over tired I put him in his crib with his Winnie the Pooh musical toy and turn on the baby monitor. In less than 3 min he is always asleep but he usually cries the entire three minutes.
Once in awhile he gets up around 4am but if I put his pacifier in his mouth he usually goes right back to sleep.
Jack goes to bed at 5pm so Im not really surprised if he gets up in the middle of the night.

Yes, but I have noticed the last few nights he is fine with only an ounce. So he only needs the comforting I think.


Stella Marie:

You might want to try replacing his milk or formula with water for those night feedings.  Sometimes when they realize they're not going to get what they want they stop asking after a while.  A lot of books recommend this.

You might want to try replacing his milk or formula with water for those night feedings.  Sometimes when they realize they're not going to get what they want they stop asking after a while.  A lot of books recommend this.

We did that with one of ours, but found he just went on waking up for a drink of water! Probably better just to give a cuddle - if you're breastfeeding or are the one that usually gives the bottle at night, send your partner in, then the baby's less likely to expect anything in the way of food.

Well, I could not do it. After he cried for 5 minutes I was done. I felt so awful at leaving him. I did do water all last night when he woke. He drank only an ounce total, so I now think he may just be thirsty. I will see how it goes tonight.

Hi Munchie,

I feel for you.  We went through a similar thing with my daughter when she was 10 months old.  5 minutes of crying can feel like an eternity and break your heart.  The first night I started crying and felt like banging my head into a wall.  I was feeding her myself and found that it was easier on all the family if my partner did most of the comforting.  It took us 3 nights to get down to under 30 minutes of crying, but after a week, it was a few seconds of whimpering protest before falling asleep and staying that way for over 10 hours.  I weaned down the feeds to every other time she would wake up each night and also cut the length of each feed each night.  In the end it was worth it for us, just go with your instincts and do it the way that feels right for you.