Worst Thing About The Distance is When You're Having an Argument

Does everyone agree?  It's just so so so difficult to resolve anything from so far away . . . you can't sit down, be face to face with the person and work things out . . . you have to do everything through phone calls, voice mails, emails, text messages . . . and when it's all over the person's still 3,000 miles away . . .

I think the worst thing about the distance was when we weren't having an argument.  When things were just peachy, it was soooooo hard to be apart!

Having an argument with DH while he was 5000 miles from me was easy -- it encouraged my SLAM DOWN THE PHONE AND WALK AWAY habit.   

Caller ID 

The worse part  was in an argument or disappointment  (like founding out something  bad  about them )   and the  silence..  (what does it mean??!!)  and having to hang up because  time was  up..  UUGGHH!!  horrible!!

hugs!!

The distance in my relationship brought harm.  It has taken us a year and lots of healing to get where we are now.  I was in the States having our baby and my DH was here in the UK.  I will just say it was a miserable time and I am surprised we have made it through, well I hope we have.  I am not a good forgiver.  I think distance in some situations can be very painful.  I knew full well that we would have difficulties due to the great distance and just the little things that go wrong in life, but I never dreamed it would go so very bad.  I hope you can cope with the distance and that not much pain inccurs.

Does everyone agree?  It's just so so so difficult to resolve anything from so far away . . . you can't sit down, be face to face with the person and work things out . . . you have to do everything through phone calls, voice mails, emails, text messages . . . and when it's all over the person's still 3,000 miles away . . .

Oh, god, I agree completely!!! I've been spending the last 24 hours crying because I can't work things out with my b/f face-to-face. It's not even a big fight, but the not being able to see him in person to talk is killing me. I shouldn't complain because we don't have 3,000 miles between us -- he's about a 6-hour drive from me. But it still means we see each other only every 3-4 weeks. And if there's any disagreement or miscommunication or anything like that, I'd rather wait to see him in person to work it out than to try to do it over the phone. And this means that I have 3 weeks to get myself even more worked up about it, which I generally do.    He's going to be here tomorrow, and I'm determined that we're going to talk about making a permanent move to solve this problem. Wish me luck!

, and I'm determined that we're going to talk about making a permanent move to solve this problem.

by teh way I do wish you luck.. 

I think the fact that we were  so far away and that we  didn't want to live  with cach other before  we  were  married  added  to  our  "early' getting engaged.. we  both knew nothing was   going to  'change'..and that we'd have another year  of  it 'being the 'same'..  so we  got married  sooner..since we knew  we  were  headed  that way anyway..  maybe if we were  younger things would have been different ..and  maybe now i wish  I  would have  cleared  my credit cards  before coming  out...but that is besdies the point.. I didn't regret  getting married  or engaged  sooner  than  later.. other people do  it..long distance  i mean..  but maybe becasue we  were  so far ..it just didn't seem  feasible  to carrry on that  long..  sorry for the rant and  vent.. feeling  a bit  blue  today.. maybe homesick for my past life..NEVER my DH..   

I hate not being able to do anything about it. Why does it seem more exaggerated long distance? The little stuff seems to have become bigger when it shouldn't. 

That or I'm insensitive to think it's a small thing. I just want to be there to make it better or talk it out!

Why does it seem more exaggerated long distance? The little stuff seems to have become bigger when it shouldn't. 

I agree. It does seem bigger. If I could see him everyday, then these would be minor little issues that you'd mention briefly in passing. But when you only connect in person on occasion, they do seem to grow in importance, don't they?

This past weekend, my boyfriend and I discussed moving in together. Actually, I discussed it -- my agenda! lol. He's apparently "not ready," whatever that means. We talked and talked and there were tears from both of us, but no resolution. Still, it was good to talk in person and get all of it off my chest. I think we're closer for it and he now at least knows how unhappy I am with the current situation. And so it goes ...

Actually, long distance relationships seem to make things easier. (Or maybe it's just me and my fiance). Having to put your words in order before typing in an email or having to wait for a phone call gives you a chance to cool off and think about things reasonably, and makes it easier to compromise. And you have much less of a chance to say stupid things that you regret later.

Steve has said time and again that if he could read my facial expressions, it would avoid a lot of our petty arguments - I suppose that's what I mean. The entire communication process does require more thought and care because of the lack of the body language that makes up almost all of communication and sometimes confusion and misinterpretation results.

Steve has said time and again that if he could read my facial expressions, it would avoid a lot of our petty arguments - I suppose that's what I mean. The entire communication process does require more thought and care because of the lack of the body language that makes up almost all of communication and sometimes confusion and misinterpretation results.

I completely agree with this- I have said the same thing to my fiance.  Sometimes he will say something and I'll snip back at him (or vice versa) and it is a misunderstanding because we can't read one anothers body language, eyes, etc and just completely misinterpret what is being said.

My pshycology major freind used to say that 90% of communication is  body language and  I didn't agree until  I had  my LDR  with my now  DH.. the English  "humor' was  hard to take at times..  misinterpretation  happened  more often than not..  I agree  facial  expressions and  a  reaffirming pat  or  touch would have  smoothed things  over sooner..

I agree, having done the LDR for several years, the distance during an argument is awful, and a lot of the time I thought that the distance was the cause of the arguments. After having spent several years here now, I've realized that we were still arguing about the same sort of things, the same behaviour carried over to "real everyday life", it wasn't any different. I would say to be aware that maybe the distance magnifies problems that will still be there when you're actually together, but some people may have experienced otherwise. I hope so.

Feeling the slightest bit better that I am not the only one who is feeling this way right now.  It feels like an ongoing fight when you can't sit down face to face and actually talk.  Right now the worst thing about the distance is the distance itself and how long it will be till...or IF i see him again