Same Shirt.......AGAIN!!!!

It's one thing wearing the same thing all the time but she should wash it!!! Could you try having an accident with a pen near her so the ink gets on her shirt? Then she'd have to wash it!!

OMG, we think so alike!!!

I used to have a class with this guy who would wear the same striped see through shirt every week. One week he wasn't wearing it, but had it on his desk and put it on later. I don't think I would have recognized him without the shirt. My friends and I would make bets every week to see if he was wearing the shirt again and in fact, he was! So, maybe have some fun with it. People are going to do what they want to do. Maybe in a few months she will wear a different shirt all the time or something.

Trust me, we have fun with it!   Well as soon as I this person came into work, and took off her jacket I emailed the friend who came in to sniff around about it.  Just typed "Blue shirt, again, smelly!"  She told me I should say something but I can't she is very offended if you say anything.  Did I mention her hair!?  She BRUSHES HER CURLY HAIR!!!!!!!!  This I have commented on and she cried!  (I was very nice too!)

Maybe something happened and she isn't able to do her laundry as often? I don't see anything wrong with wearing the same item more than once a week, as long as you wash it in between (which she apparently isn't).

There could be any of a number of reasons why her wardrobe has dwindled. Since I've been shipping my stuff over to the UK, I've got less of a choice of what to wear to work myself.  I wouldn't be surprised if people notice I'm wearing the same clothes over and over.  At least I try not to be smelly, though.

Right, well it's the smelly bit that is getting to me the most!.  She talks about her home all the time and would have mentioned something wrong with her washer! 

It really is a hard one to call.  Yes, as Lola said, there may be something going on in her personal life that seems more important to her that clean clothes.  Of course, there are a million other things it could be.

Personally, I tend to not spend a penny on anything (including new clothes, no matter how badly they are needed) when I am saving money.  Is it possible that this girl is saving her money for something?  A trip somewhere grand?  A place of her own (buying or renting) so that she can escape her folk's home? A new car?  You get the point.

Then, there is always the thought that maybe she is depressed and just doesn't have the energy to do laundry and doesn't care if she showers or not?

LOL, Ok, this is definitely not the same situation, but we get a farm delivery once a week - veg. and stuff delivered from a local farm. And when I get home from work I tend to get out of my unbelievably ugly uniform and straight into jeans and a sweatshirt. So today I realized that I probably answer the door in the exact same clothes nearly every Friday. He must think I'm just completely disgusting!!!! 

Like I said, she lives with her parents, they are her best friends.  She goes on holiday with them, so I don't think she has to save any money.  She has like one other friend that I know of.  Other then that, she come out with me a bunch with my DH and other colleagues as well.  I certainly know what it is like to be lonely, I've been there before.  However she seems perfectly content with her life.  Seriously!

Oh, and I have been to her house, she has TONS of clothes!  I vaguely remember saying I liked this particular shirt and shortly after she started wearing it a lot!

Oh, her Dad is retired, he does all the housework, she would have said if he was ill, she tells us everything about them and they know everything about everyone she works with (Too much if you ask me!)

But back to the real issue here, how do I tell her she has a BO problem!?

Is the office generally pretty email happy?  As in: do people tend to circulate good jokes, news stories, junk e-mails?  If so, then maybe you should either 1)find some thing on line or 2) fasion your own "fake" funny little news story (making it sound 'real') then email it to EVERYONE in the office.  Then, she is not singled out and if the news story is just right, maybe she will get inspired....

I really would take it up with your supervisor.  You say she has a hygiene problem, too -- maybe hearing about your coworker would help her face up to her own problem! 

Is the office generally pretty email happy?  As in: do people tend to circulate good jokes, news stories, junk e-mails?  If so, then maybe you should either 1)find some thing on line or 2) fasion your own "fake" funny little news story (making it sound 'real') then email it to EVERYONE in the office.  Then, she is not singled out and if the news story is just right, maybe she will get inspired....

Hmmmmm, could work, thank you!!!!  She sits right across from me, it's hard not to crack up!

Anne, LOL!!!  I do that too at home!  I always change into the same sweats, but it's home, and it's comfortable!!!

I really would take it up with your supervisor. You say she has a hygiene problem, too -- maybe hearing about your coworker would help her face up to her own problem!

I'll see if I can gather the courage!

That or leave her an anonymour friendly note. Typed, sealed in an envelope. That's only if there are enough folks in your office to get away with it. Ideally it would be left not on her desk but somewhere she can read it in private.

Ideally the supervisor should deal with it though! If you think the supervisor won't, try HR.

The thing is, it's not a huge office, she might know it is me.  Hmmm, I will think on it!  Thank you for all your great advise!!!  She is away next week with her parents, so I can think of something then!

umm ... approaching someone about that kind of issue is really a tricky one, especially if she tends to break out in tears so easily. As long as we don't know what's going on with her, we can only philosophy about the reasons. Since you didn't mention that she was having any personal hygiene probs before, my first instinct, too, was to think that wearing the same clothes are signs of self-neglect ... usually running along with depression.

However, your post in which you wrote that she only kept wearing the same SHIRT (apparently she changes her other garments?) after you told her that you particularly liked that one, sounds like she has serious self-esteem problems and is so insecure about herself that she might think, the only way to obtain acceptance and reassurance from her peers is by pleasing them (i.e. by wearing certain clothes?).

Someone here suggested to write an anonymous note ... I was having the same idea but was thinking of writing her a carefully phrased email, perhaps mentioning why you're not approaching her directly (not wanting to hurt her feelings). Or, you could still take her aside and make her aware what the prob is but do it in a way that makes her think you are her ally. Tell her you are concerned that everybody in the office is talking about her. Instead of joining the gossip but approaching her you would show that you care about her.

I think taking it to the supervisor at this stage is too early. She might get the feeling that everybody's teaming up against her and might feel even more rejected. You have to find a way that makes her understand that you act as a friend and not like a 'blamer'.  That's probably what I would do ... then again, I never had to deal with stuff like that before! 

personally, i think you should leave her alone. i mean, what business is it of yours if she doesnt change her shirt. sure laugh about it all you want, but dont go telling her shes gross (even if you do it in a nice way). and as for her smelling, try moving desks or staying away from her. theres no reason to bring it up, its not like her skirts tucked into her panties haha. she will just end up being insulted.

I have an oversensitive nose. I am the one to smell any nasty odor well before anyone else so I wouldn't be able to handle that day in and day out! But I also wouldn't want to hurt anyones feelings. You say you've been to this person's house and she's been out with you, so there is somewhat of a relationship there it would seem. So I would think the best advice would be like teutonica said, approach her as an ally. Maybe you could invite her out and just ask her if everything is ok. Tell her you are concerned about her and have heard other people talking wondering if she's alright as she doesnt seem to be taking care of herself the way she used to. Maybe there is more to it than meets the eye (or nose) or maybe she just doesn't notice. I have noticed that people with body odor  seem to be oblivious to it.

What's the latest Stacey? I'm nosey and want an update!