Does anyone ever feel like the stereotypical fat American?

I have yet to move to England (happening in the fall) and I have only been there for two weeks so far.  But even in that short amount of time, I felt like the biggest stereotype.  I was afraid to even open my mouth and have people recognize me as American because I was afraid they would think I was just an annoying fat American.  For some reason I had the idea that there was a lot of overweight people in England.  I was wrong though, it was the complete opposite (and I was in the NORTH!).  And it seemed like everyone was much more into fashion and their appearance.  Im insecure to begin with, but there, it was bad.  It makes me concerned about moving.  Has anyone else had this complex or is it just me?

Karenn - I can relate to where you're coming from, and I feel that I'm 'qualified' to respond as an overweight American woman living in England (since March 04) & I live in the North (Leeds, West Yorks area). First off, I would say give it more than two weeks visiting time, before you make a final decision about moving or not. I spent about 7 weeks visiting altogether (not all in a single trip) over the course of a year, before I made my decision. I was afraid to open my mouth for the longest time -- but I didn't feel like it was because of my weight -- more just being overwhelmed, being in a different country, and worrying in general about any stigma attached to being an 'annoying' American but that bit is getting better with time for me. Thing was, for me, when I first met my Brit B/F -- he wasn't sure he wanted an overweight girlfriend! He'd always dated stick insects before ('give that girl a sandwich!'). That was one of the hardest things for us to get past...but, he'd already started to fall in love with me & my intelligence, my sense of humor & adventure, wanderlust, and fun-loving spirit -- and we never looked back.

I think there *are* proportionately just as many, or nearly as many, overweight people here as there are in America -- I see others all the time! Could it be that, considering the novelty of everything (being a foreigner here) plus your insecurity, you were more worried about others looking (down) on you (I know what it's like!) and perhaps in so doing - just didn't notice other overweight people about? I've had that experience before, but then once I got to a more relaxed state & thinking outside my insecurity, I then noticed all the others around? Really, I see people of all shapes & sizes over here -- and, on the whole, I think the issue of size acceptance is 'as good' if not slightly better than in the US.

As for the fashion & appearance issue -- I do think that in England, as in most of Western Europe, people *do* tend to dress a little better, more fashionably. This doesn't necessarily mean having an enormous wardrobe -- they might have the same few basic, classic pieces that are worn again & again, but it looks smart & with accessories - just more dressy than the average American's jeans & T-shirt. Still, there are jeans & T-shirt people, Goths, & everyone else too. The 'fashion' over here was culture shock for me -- coming from southern Florida, where the style is very laid-back, it's hot most of the year, & when I wasn't at work, I usually just wore scruffy shorts, T-shirts & sandals or flip-flops. Well it's TOO COLD here for that.

An interesting thing that's happened to me though -- well, I am about twice your age. And before I left the US, I had begun taking medication for high blood pressure & showing beginning signs of other illness that can be brought about by excess weight. My US doctor told me, pretty sternly, 'either lose about 100 pounds or you can start looking forward to a shortened life with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease & diabetes'. When it comes to losing weight, I've always been the worst! Since I've been here, my husband tries to be supportive in helping me to eat more healthily -- though I've not been on any kind of structured diet, we tend to go hiking a lot on the weekends (Yorkshire moors & dales, etc), plus I think that with public transport, the way cities & towns are structured, and so on - people just tend to move around more (more walking, less driving). Like I said, without being on any kind of 'diet' & with the increased naturally occurring activity, I've lost two stone (28 pounds) since I moved here.

Now I don't know if you're interested in slimming or not - but I thought the above was worth noting, as it's not required much effort on my part. Just think if I were really trying?!?!!    Anyhoo, the best thing you can do is work your way towards feeling good about yourself -- lose the insecurity, no matter what size you are. That way, either you'll have the confidence to try & lose weight, OR -- you'll have the confidence to be just as you are, not care what the rest of the world thinks & tell 'em to naff off! The world is full of beautiful people of ALL shapes & sizes. What a pity (and how boring!) it would be if everyone looked like Kate Moss! By contrast - look at Emme, look at Camryn Mannheim (did you know she wrote a book 'Wake Up-I'm Fat!'?). Gorgeous women!

Well sorry for the long post, but I'm hoping that you've found some hope & comfort herein. England is wonderful! Plus, since being over here, I've travelled (with DH) to the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain - being close to Europe is simply awesome! We're planning trips this year to Cyprus & to France.

Feel free to e-mail me if you have questions, would like to know more, or would just feel better having a friend in a similar situation.

Cheers -
Carolyn B

As for the fashion & appearance issue -- I do think that in England, as in most of Western Europe, people *do* tend to dress a little better, more fashionably.

The thing I love about the UK is that there's so much more variety in the way people dress. I always felt in the US that there was this "uniform" -- the Banana Republic khaki look, or whatever happens to be in fashion at the moment. Boooring. Here people seem to express their individuality so much more through the way they dress. That's probably true of larger cities in the US, but even in my rural village in the UK, people dress all sorts of different ways and it's all embraced. I think individuality is valued far more over here than in the US -- both in terms of dress and general appearance. That's a wonderful thing.

Like I said, without being on any kind of 'diet' & with the increased naturally occurring activity, I've lost two stone (28 pounds) since I moved here.
Now I don't know if you're interested in slimming or not - but I thought the above was worth noting, as it's not required much effort on my part.

Carolyn, I'm really jealous of you. I have done much more walking since moving here, but I've also done much more eating! So my weight hasn't budged. I find the food here more natural and wholesome and fresh and just plain GOOD. Karenn, I hope if/when you move, you'll have Carolyn's experience and not mine.    However, the UK does have things like Weight Watchers, so there are plenty of options if you do decide to try slimming.

But if you don't, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think the skinny Hollywood ideal is as important in the UK as in the US. At least, that's been my impression. In the US, I was always self-conscious about dating, etc. as an overweight woman. But over here, I feel beautiful and voluptuous and desireable. It doesn't hurt that I have a wonderful BF who loves my body -- but even before I started seeing him, I got more attention from men than I ever did in the US. So, Karenn, you'll have that to look forward to! 

Anyhoo, the best thing you can do is work your way towards feeling good about yourself -- lose the insecurity, no matter what size you are. That way, either you'll have the confidence to try & lose weight, OR -- you'll have the confidence to be just as you are, not care what the rest of the world thinks & tell 'em to naff off! The world is full of beautiful people of ALL shapes & sizes.

That's a lovely sentiment, Carolyn. Thanks!      

And, Karenn, best of luck to you. You have nothing to worry about. This is a wonderful country. Where are you moving to? Are you on your own or with family?

I'd agree. Believe me, there are loads of heavy people here but if you are just walking down the high street, you may just see lots of skinny teenagers! I would NOT allow 2 weeks visit to be guide your overall view of the UK.

The best thing you can do is get yourself out and active as soon as you can upon arrival. Lots of women who come over here to be with their BF/DH make the mistake of staying at home and waiting to do things with him.... so they end up with very sedentary lifestyles and totally reliant on their partner for all social interaction. Sign up for an aerobic/yoga/whatever class.

And try to forget about your accent. Yes, it will be a source of interest. Yes, you will stand out sometimes. Yes, people will ask you about Bush. Yes, you may feel 'louder' at times. But, you ARE American and this isn't going to go away. Besides, if somone does get cheeky or rude, you don't want to know them anyway!

As for the fashion, the more I'm here, the more I go back and forth on this. I think there is a general trend towards being fashion concious. On the other hand, I also think a lot of people here dress in things that are totally inappropriate for their age/size/shape. But yes, there is less of the 'jeans and t-shirt' look which, frankly, I miss. You'll also see a lot fewer pairs of shorts - both on men and women. Mostly b/c it's not usually murderously hot like most of the US can get!

Good luck!

I think balmerhon is right about the teenagers - I think if you focus on the youth there might be fewer overweight people among them, but otherwise I think everyone has been spot on - there are lots of different folk over here and you definitely won't stand out for having a bit of extra weight.... I've noticed in the north - Manchester and Leeds in particular - the kids are really into... how to put this... sort of the sluttier end of high fashion. In the south it seems a lot more individualistic. I'd also agree that people are more fashionable, but not obsessive with it - like carolyn said there's more accesorizing around a few key pieces.

One thing to ask yourself is how much you really and truly look at and judge people around you based on size, clothes, etc. My guess is that it's not very much - you might notice what one in every 100 people are wearing. And that's what's going on with other people too - they're walking down the street thinking about an argument with their boss or about what they've got in the fridge for dinner. What's my point? I think it's really easy to think that everyone is looking at you and judging you, but they're not. 

Hi Karenn,

I have to agree with others who have posted about this...don't let anything that happened in 2 weeks make or break your decision to move here.  The UK you experienced in that two weeks probably doesn't really exist the way you saw it.  It will take a bit more time for you to let go of the expectations you came from the US with to see the real Britain...and that can actually take months, if not years.

I posted something on my journal a couple of years ago about this weight subject.  I thought you might be interested:

http://www15.brinkster.com/wishstar/Sept03/21.html

What I would say is that you shouldn't blame the insecurities you were feeling when you were here on Britain, or British people.  You probably brought those things with you, and being out of your comfort zone probably made you more aware of them than you usually are. 

The good news is that after awhile, you do get more comfortable with things....and those insecurities do fade a bit. 

Yes I usually feel like the stereotypical fat American but its only because of my own stupid insecurities. I felt the same way in the USA. But here since all the cool clothes are aimed for the US size 6. And PLUS size here is considered a UK 14 (US 10) I DO feel very fat!

And PLUS size here is considered a UK 14 (US 10) I DO feel very fat!

In all fairness, this is a bit skewed (though it makes me as insecure as Pebbles says)... yes, for some reasons the plus size shops (Evans for example) do include UK 14 as a plus size.  That said (and believe me, I have shopped everywhere!!), sizes are relative from store to store. I more or less wear a US 18/20 but here can go as low as UK 18 to as high as UK 24 and the 24 is at the plus size shops - not the 'normal' shops like Monsoon and Marks!!! WTF?

Trendy high street shops, with the exception of Monsoon and maybe a couple others, don't go over a UK18 and those that do won't have their whole range up to 20.

Trendy high street shops, with the exception of Monsoon and maybe a couple others, don't go over a UK18 and those that do won't have their whole range up to 20.

I find the UK to be no better than the US in terms of sizing consistency. If I go to Marks, I'm a UK 18 or 20 (ugh). But at Monsoon (which I love!), I can fit into a UK 12 or 14. Go figure. 

I find the UK to be no better than the US in terms of sizing consistency. If I go to Marks, I'm a UK 18 or 20 (ugh). But at Monsoon (which I love!), I can fit into a UK 12 or 14. Go figure. 

WOW!!!!   That is a huge difference!  How small is M&S making their clothes you would think!!!!  I'm about a 10 or 12 in the US, which actually makes me feel pretty thin, especially when I am a 10!  If I went any smaller I look emaciated!!!!
Honestly though I never really thought of Americans being fat!  Might be where I grew up though.

And walking down the High Street in my town seeing all the 6ft size 4 teenagers is enough to put anyone off!

I posted something on my journal a couple of years ago about this weight subject. I thought you might be interested:

http://www15.brinkster.com/wishstar/Sept03/21.html

Thank you for sharing the above link. 

I am 6ft and a size 16/18 UK, even a UK14 in some place, sometimes I feel massive next to all the shorter, smaller gals, sometimes I feel great about my height and my figure.  I have been a bigger person, the size I am now and smaller, I would love to say I could just be happy with who I am, as I am, but I am not. 

As the others posted, do not make an absolute opinion based on a two week visit.  I like that people dress up here more than in the US, where it seems to be all t-shirts and jeans, which is fine, though I never dress in that.  Just be yourself and who you are.......

My experience has always been the opposite.  'You're American?  Well, you don't look American!'  Um, what's one supposed to look like?  I'm Hispanic, and have dark hair and eyes and olive skin.  I am only 5ft., 4in., have a slender build and I guess I don't walk 'like an American' b/c I studied ballet for most of my childhood.  I get asked nearly every day for directions in Italian, Spanish or French b/c some Euros just assume I'm one of these nationalities.  Fortunately I speak Spanish and French, but it takes most people aback b/c I have an American accent in those languages. 

I agree w/the others, if you've only been here a fortnight, give it some time and have some fun w/the dress-up. 

Where I came from in Colorado it was all fleece and Birkenstocks.  It's nice to go round tarted up and not raise eyebrows. 

I posted something on my journal a couple of years ago about this weight subject.  I thought you might be interested:

http://www15.brinkster.com/wishstar/Sept03/21.html

Ive actually read this before! I think it was even before my visit.  I think it is what broke my theory that there were loads of overweight people in England and that weight wasn’t really an issue.  I found it very interesting, but yet, very scary.


I know I will have to give things time.  Its definitely not a deal breaker for moving, just a concern. 

Im the type of person whos kind of consumed by looks.  Which is sad, but true.  I notice everyone around me and always compare them to how I look (yes I know I brought over these insecurities with me).  But in England I can open my mouth and have everyone looking at me just because of my voice and that opens up tons of opportunity for them to think im just a fat american.  maybe I wouldnt even feel bad if I was fat and british.  Just because I always think theres this stereotype that americans are big sloppy greasy fat people who eat fast food all day and are lazy (or is the consensus not really this bad?).  And I dont want to give people the opportunity to think this about me.  Im sure I will get over it.  I mean, what other choice do I have? I realize I cant get a realistic view of things from a 2 weeks visit.

Thank you for your reply Carolyn, it was very helpful. 

Belindaloo:  Thanks, I am moving to the north west (Wigan to be exact) to be with my boyfriend (who will then be my husband )


I also had a question for you all about therapy in England.  Is it common to see a shrink in England?  Do they have therapists who specialize in eating disorders/ weight issues?  Does anyone know if its covered through NHS?  My boyfriend thought it wasn’t that common (he said its something Americans do haha).

I don't want to sound bad news, but American retailers have been down-numbering their clothes for some time. If you want proof of this, go to the Gap and try on their clothes and you'll see yourself fitting into smaller sizes (this is true for both the men's clothes, which tend to give their waists a relaxed fit, even when the pants/trousers aren't labelled as such) and the women's (which I know from shopping with my gf). Over the last few years, there's been a massive project in the US and other European countries to re-map numbers to body shapes.

I also had a question for you all about therapy in England.  Is it common to see a shrink in England?  Do they have therapists who specialize in eating disorders/ weight issues?  Does anyone know if its covered through NHS?  My boyfriend thought it wasn’t that common (he said its something Americans do haha).

I'm afraid i would tend to agree with your boyfriend.