There's a great line from the film "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" by a character called Barfly Jack. He is describing an unsavoury character called Rory Breaker to one of the film's lead characters:
"Rory? Yeah I know Rory. He's not to be underestimated, you've got to look past the distinct facade. A few nights ago Rory's Roger iron rusted, so he has gone to the battle-cruiser to watch the end of a football game. Nobody is watching the custard so he has turned the channel over. A fat man's north opens and he wanders up and turns the Liza over. 'Now *bleep* off and watch it somewhere else.' Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the end of the game; so, calm as a coma, he stands and picks up a fire extinguisher and he walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action, then he plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. 'That's *bleep*ing it,' says the guy. 'That's *bleep*ing what' says Rory. Rory gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty; he flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest and the man lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Rory, unfazed, turned back to watch his game. His team won too. Four-nil. "
Roger - TV - "Telly" - (Roger Mellie)
Iron Rusted - Broke (Busted)
battle-cruiser - Pub (Boozer)
Custard - TV (Custard and Jelly)
North - Mouth (North and South)
Liza - TV (Liza Manelli)
Jam Rolls - Arseholes
Aristotle - Bottle
Ping pong - Strong
Tiddley - Drink (Tiddley wink)
nuclear sub - Pub
Bird's nest - Chest
Lock Stock: [nofollow]