Standard business practice??

I can understand that you're concerned, but you've got to remember that to him it IS usual.  And since he's not seeing it from your point of view it might be difficult for him to come up with a quick explanation-you know how sometimes people ask you questions about how you do things in America and you can't think of any explanation other than that's the way we do it.  It's probably just as hard for him to understand why you're so upset-after all there will be married and engaged people there whose partners don't have a problem with it.
I'd wait for an explanation from him, but I'd also keep in mind that in some people's experience on this board it IS common practice.  I know it's happened a few times with my husband's job.
Part of it is bonding, part of it is the company thinking they're doing something nice for the employees.  It's not unusual and it doesn't necesarrily mean that anything is going on.  I really think that part of being in a relationship is being able to trust.  Doubting someone and second guessing someone just weakens the foundation in my opinion. 

This is exactly his view and i share more of abercroft's view...makes things sticky sometimes

Okay, I have to ask...
what's a "blackberry?
(she shrinks from the keyboard with fear and trepidation...)

This is exactly his view and i share more of abercroft's view...makes things sticky sometimes

Ah, love.  

Okay, I have to ask...
what's a "blackberry?
(she shrinks from the keyboard with fear and trepidation...)

another electronic device that beeps and annoys others around it that do not have one

haha, it's a mini-computer that is wireless to the internet, used mostly for email communication and some web-surfing.

He is addicted to anything electronic and tech-y

Well, if he has accomodated you in the past, he is likely to do so in the future.
I say he is probably a great guy, just caught between cultures and the distance.  I wouldn't push too much on this one, and ignore it the next time an event like this
comes up.

But I would expect him to look after your feelings once he is aware of them. I would also expect the same from you...

This June I am moving over and ending the long distance part of a 2 year LDR.  He asnd I have both worked very hard on this and I have to say I have never felt so loved and wanted as I do with him. In the end it IS worth every drop of sweat and angst.
All the best to you two...

Loving means that you do whatever you can for the other's good, and the good of the relationship. It does not mean worrying about whether you are "Whipped" or what your mates say. The beloved comes way before your mates.

I and my BF are in our 40's and such male stupidity is not an issure for either of us. I would not even date a man if he had such fears.

It's just that after all the years I've been in this forum, it never fails that someone suggests that the UK partner be the understanding one and the accommodating one, as if the US half has no responsibility whatsoever to understand the differences in culture - especially odd as in most cases on this forum it is the US person who will eventually move to the UK and have to start understanding the differences on a day-to-day basis.

That's where I'm coming from on this.

NB If this is meant to be a team building thing, his employer might view him as not being one of the team if he doesn't stay the night with everyone else.

I've heard of this too-I wouldn't say it was unusual.  And it's pretty important to be seen as a 'team player' and not one to be hen-pecked if you know what I mean.  There's more to making a good impression at work than just what you do during the day. 
I really don't see it as a big thing.  I think you should probably trust him on this. 

I agree with Liz & Mindy on this as well.  If this is a work do, and everyone else is doing it, then he really isn't goint to look good bucking the trend just to keep you happy.  Quite frankly, you shouldn't be suspicious over this one little issue if you haven't felt suspicious about his behaviour before.

Just my 2p. 

Great thread 

I'm all in favor of some quality relationship-paranoia (and sticky love too, yeah!), but there is nothing unusual or suspicious about what the guy is doing.

Doubting someone and second guessing someone just weakens the foundation in my opinion.  

Darn right.

I have to agree that there's nothing unusual about this at all.  Twice last year I was away for several nights with my team on a team building course type thing and I could have easily come home each night.  It was only about 45 minutes away by train, etc.  But that would have been unheard of and I would have missed out on all sorts of things.  In my company, it's very common here to stay over in a hotel with colleagues, even if you're near home.

And for the record, I think Liz is absolutely right about having to be flexible with different customs and ways of doing things.  It's harder to try and understand the customs when you aren't yet in this country, but it's good practice to start realising you aren't going to know about stuff like this...and you have to trust that your partner isn't going to betray you from the start.  Especially since in the beginning, you'll likely be very dependent on him until you do start understanding and figuring things out.  If it's uncomfortable to do that now, it's going to be 10 times worse when you do get here.

Also, you have to remember that every company has it's own little culture, aside from the culture of the country!

My company does this as well.  Even those who live close to Leeds city centre get rooms as the whole point of the bonding is pretty much getting totally trashed and it's much nicer to just plop down into a nice bed instead of having to go get a taxi and pay the extra cash. (and mind you, that late at night he'll be getting a black and white taxi and a 20 minute ride will be expensive whereas he can wake up the next morning and get a bus or train which will be cheaper).

I really wouldn't worry about it, hon. This is normal practice here.

And if you're really worried about it, tell me what pub he'll be going to and I'll check up on him for you. 

thank you all for keeping me more level-headed. I have learned a little more and now know that this is common and everything turned out just fine.

Ashley- thanks for you suggestion, but I don't want to start checking up on him - I'd rather start trusting him more fully.

My husbands company does this all the time - sometimes I even go along and stay with him. A night in a hotel, even one just down the road is always fun for us.

Rosie