searching for a way

Hello all. I'm brand new here - I just stumbled accross this website and am very grateful to have. It's nice to see so many women to relate to (guys and families sometimes just don't get it ).

Well, my boyfriend lives in England, as you've probably guessed, and I don't. I'm planning on moving out there in a few months hopefully. But I know, until we get married, I am just a visitor - I can't work or anything...and I think I'm only allowed to stay there for up to 6 months I think. The problem is, at the end of 6 months, if we're not ready to get married, there's no way I'm coming all the way back here when there's nothing for me. A friend told me that I could just go into a neighboring country for a few days and then go back...but I would be a bit paranoid that they would be suspicious of that or say something to me and not let me back in. Anyone know anything about that? (I hope I made sense).

Thanks so much!

I believe the rule is that you can only stay in the UK as a visitor for 6 months *in any 12 month period*.  So that would mean that your friend is wrong.

However, i'm no expert, so you might want to wait for other replies that are sure to follow....

It's been years since I've looked into the legalities, and I know rules have changed since I came across...and possibilities are probably only going to get worse considering immigration is such a hot political topic over here right now. So I'm not even venturing a guess of advice.

You probably realize that it's not just the relationship you're talking about. You also have to like the country. You can pretty much "get" a relationship in six months. It takes 2 years to be sure of the country. And by then you've given up a whole previous life to the point of there being nothing to return to.

I just wanted to offer a chime-in with the frustration. I was in your shoes, and I felt the immigration laws actually forced my now husband to propose to me, and for us to get married before we were totally sure, only to have me stay here a bit longer to get to know each other more. It's just plain wrong. But, you've got to play by the rules regardless if, in the future, you may end up unhappy, divorced and (whether you planned it or not) possibly being supported by the country because you've found yourself homeless.

I'm a happy ending. It worked, I love it here, I love my husband, we grow stronger together every day. But for x number happy endings, there's x number failures. And the country does end up providing support in many, many of these cases.

I'd like to see immigration laws change, but not in the way the politicans are proposing. They need to change with the reality of the present, not with the hysteria of emotions.

Thanks for the replies.

Please, any more info I can get will help!!

Thanks again.

I think Otterpop is right, it's 6 months within 12. Don't try to hop to another country. Some say you can get away with that... but most of the stories I've heard show otherwise.

LisaE is right, it's not easy and it's a big leap of faith in many ways. Only you can decide what to do...

There is one other possible option. Does you boyfriend live near a university? If so, is there any chance you might do a degree? Even if your relationship ended, you'd still come out with a degree that could advance your career back in the US.

Also, what are the chances of your boyfriend considering a move to the US?

Oh, and one more thing... do be careful about coming here as a visitor for 6 months. Immigration will want to know your return flight info and will need proof that you have the funds to be a tourist for 6 months. What you want to do is by no means illegal... but if you show up at Heathrow saying 'hi, I'm staying with my boyfriend for 6 months and he's supporting me' you *could* raise all sorts of red flags.

Aye that's another thing... the '6 months' is at the discretion of the immigration/ entry officer... it is not your God-given right as an American to stay here for 6 months.  (Not saying you were thinking that... just throwing it out there for consideration!  ).

Well, I've been looking into schools there (he's in Leeds), but I don't have any college behind me really (except some cosmetology school), so I could try to do A levels, except I don't have enough money for it. He can't move out here yet cuz he's starting uni in the fall.

If we decide to get married - I wonder if it would be easier for us to get married over here (since you have to have a visa over there).

Well, I've been looking into schools there (he's in Leeds), but I don't have any college behind me really (except some cosmetology school), so I could try to do A levels, except I don't have enough money for it. He can't move out here yet cuz he's starting uni in the fall.

If we decide to get married - I wonder if it would be easier for us to get married over here (since you have to have a visa over there).

You could get married in the US and then make an appointment to get your visa to enter the UK.  You should get the visa the same day.

Hello, I tend to agree that the school option is a good one. I was able to get my degree through the University of Maryland European Division while living in Kennett, England. You may want to look at their programs. The main office is in Heidelberg, Germany but I attended classes in the UK. They have distance ed classes online too. Some of my professors lived in Harrogate, not too far from Leeds.  Getting married to stay seems a bit dramatic to me, especially with the rate of divorce. Stay on your terms and on your own steam, you will appreciate the feeling of freedom and you will not be entering into a union from a position of dependency. I'm sure the boyfriend would agree if he is worthy of you.  If things work out, you will have your self respect, a spouse, and a degree.
Shauna

Thank you everyone. Very good advice! Your support is much appreciated. I'll let you know what happens.

If we decide to get married - I wonder if it would be easier for us to get married over here (since you have to have a visa over there).

I believe you would still need a fiance visa.
Good luck!

whatever u do. GET A VISA BEFORE U try to stay over there too long.  I got held at immigration trying to go for 6 months adn didnt have enough funds. It was crazy..
 the schooli dea is good. very good.
  also  I got married herein LAS VEGAS last month. i am getting eveything together for my visa. everyting is already in their PC but i have to wait fo everythign to come in to get my appointment set up.. AAAAAARGAH lol. but its okay everything happening in due time.
   Make sure to read the pages on the visas info  so you knowhow much everything costs too...
good lucky! and congrats gotta love Brit mens!

 and thats my two sense

it is true i believe that u can go stay somewhere for like 4 weeks or so then go back to the uk. As you know the US has similiar laws about that but whereas a visitor visa is good for 6 months in the uk its only good for 3 months over here so when my fiances visa ran out, he went back to the uk for 1 month then came back for another 3 months..  However my advice would be, that if you guys are serious about getting married then might as well go ahead and do so when your 6 months is almost up so you can get started on applying for ur marriage visa

oops almost forgot to add to my previous post.. if you do leave and go back you have to be able to prove to immigration that you can support yourself for the duration of your stay. My bf was held up by immigration here and he had to prove he had funds to cover all expenses while he was here.. They didnt do that the first time he visited but pulled him when he re-entered.. hope this all helps.. I've also been told (dont know how true this is) that its easier to get married in the states then go to the uk and apply for ur marriage visa.. I have numerous friends in the Uk that have done it this way.. I even have 1 friend from the uk that was on holiday with his canadian g/f in florida and they decided to get married while there.. He said he just flew her back to the uk with him and applied for her visa.

So then it is possible to go over there as a tourist and decide to apply for a marriage visa during that visit? I mean, I wouldn't have to have some sort of visa (fiance, student, or whatever else) when I first went over there?

What kind of proof do you have to have that you have the funds to support yourself? - a bank statement I'm assuming. And how much is enough - I won't be having to pay rent or anything cuz I'll be staying with him.

Thanks everyone!!