Etiquette

Not really an etiquette thing, but when we used to go over to my fiance's mum's for Sunday dinner, she would never provide anything to drink. The whole family would eat their meal without having a sip of anything. I would always have to go into the kitchen and pour myself water from the tap. Sometimes she serves tea afterwards, but I can't swallow my food unless I've had something to drink before I start eating, and something to drink in between bites.

Now, she has learned and when we come over, she has a pitcher of water and glasses already set up.

Also, when my fiance and I eat out, he never gets anything to drink. I always get my own drink and then he ends up taking sips of mine.

Is this a British thing or just my fiance's family?

When we have a meal at my in-laws, I am the only one who has a drink at the table.   
I used to do the same as you... get my own glass of water.  But my MIL spotted it, and always puts a glass out at my place at the table now.

It's strange... my DH takes a drink with his dinner here at home, but at his parents, he doesn't.

in laws only serve  wine with dinner  so DH  who doesn't drink usually ahas  to bring his own.. or they have  scholer? (sp)..  I got used to no ice..

Wine is better than no drink at all.  I carry bottled water around with me and I am constantly drinking water all day long.  I can't understand how someone can eat an entire meal without having anything to drink.

My mom will do it sometimes, but I think it is just an old habit from her childhood.  They grew up on a small farm in Minnesota with nine children, so whoever finished their meal first got seconds, and only like 1 or 2 people were able to have seconds. 

For the etiquette fans, I just read about a new series coming on ITV1 (around June 1st)  called "From Ladettes to Ladies", trying to make "Chavs into Charlottes"!

Apparently they found the foulest, laziest chav women in the UK and put them through their paces in flower arranging, deportment, dining correctly etc - can't wait

For the etiquette fans, I just read about a new series coming on ITV1 (around June 1st)  called "From Ladettes to Ladies", trying to make "Chavs into Charlottes"!

Apparently they found the foulest, laziest chav women in the UK and put them through their paces in flower arranging, deportment, dining correctly etc - can't wait

That sounds fantastic! I can't wait!!

Going back to the beverage thing: my fiance and I ate at a cafe in a small town in Yorkshire today. The only non-alcoholic drinks they served were tea or coffee.  (I count espresso and cappucino as coffee.)  And I ordered a meal with peppers. 

Also, the other day, a hairdresser came to my house to do my hair trial before my wedding. In the middle of doing my hair, she said she was thirsty and asked if she could have some tea. I apologized, telling her that we didn't have any tea, but that I would be happy to get her some water or juice.  She refused and didn't have anything to drink at all. What kind of person would say they are thirsty and then refuse a glass of water?

Also, the other day, a hairdresser came to my house to do my hair trial before my wedding. In the middle of doing my hair, she said she was thirsty and asked if she could have some tea. I apologized, telling her that we didn't have any tea, but that I would be happy to get her some water or juice.  She refused and didn't have anything to drink at all. What kind of person would say they are thirsty and then refuse a glass of water?

Er, um, well, you probably should have offered her a cup of tea or coffee when she came.  I would think that she would expect that.   And she wasn't really thirsty thirsty, she was cup of tea thirsty.  So that was a polite-ish way of reminding you to offer her a cuppa.  See, this etiquette thing is even more complicated than it seems.   

Er, um, well, you probably should have offered her a cup of tea or coffee when she came.  I would think that she would expect that.   

She would have, indeed.  And yes, that applies to people you pay to come to your house.  They expect a cuppa.  When you go to theirs, they'll offer you a cuppa. 

Well, if my fiance, who has lived in England for 35 years doesn't keep tea in the house . . .

Well, if my fiance, who has lived in England for 35 years doesn't keep tea in the house . . .

Then he really ought to!   Very bad form in this country not to offer guests a cup of tea or coffee!

My best pal at work is a Geordie.  She doesnt drink tea or coffee...  hates the stuff!
But she keeps a box of Scottish Blend in the cupboard for workmen and guests that come to her house.
It's the 'done thing'. 

After reading the last few pages of this thread I wanted to mention a few things.

I don't understand the "napkin ration" here either. I also have learned when eating out with the kids to bring my own extra napkins.
But nobody has mentioned the napkin on the lap. Now I believe this is called a serviette (sp?). My husband calls all napkins serviettes but I read that a serviette is a larger napkin for the lap. I always eat with a napkin on my lap. Just something I was taught very early on. I have noticed here that even in posh restaurants I see few people with napkins on their lap.
Also, every year we go to my SIL for xmas or xmas eve. She sets a gorgeous table with fine china, crystal wine glasses, silver flatware, candles, flowers, etc. But not a napkin in sight!

Also not sure if this is an etiquette issue but why is it when eating at the in-laws (and I have heard this from other people as well) they serve you a plate of food as if you are at a restaurant instead of eating "family style" with the plates and bowls of food on the table to serve yourself? Is this a "food ration" thing? lol

AND don't even get me started on offering a "cuppa" to workmen! I started an entire thread on this subject several months ago when I was having my conservatory built. I offered these guys a "cuppa" three times a day and I guess it wasn't enough because they were making remarks to me everytime they would see me "better but the kettle on luv". Finally I after the first 3 days and several broken mugs later I told them I'm not their waitress. I was fed up with it. And I'm talking 7 men for 10 days straight. That was a min of 21 cups a day I was making. And they all wanted a different recipe...one sugar no milk...black with two sugars, etc. I had enough. The last few days I took the advice of some ladies on here and put a cheap kettle and cups with sugar, milk and coffee out and they never touched it. I ended up throwing the milk away. When my husband was home he didn't mind being their waiter but I thought they were taking advantage.

OK as for drinks at the table. When I first came over here we would always have Sunday dinner at my SILs. She only served wine with dinner. And I would always have to ask for something else. Not because I don't enjoy a glass of wine with my dinner but because I NEVER drink and drive..never never never..not even one glass. Now they keep diet coke in the house in case I drop by

Sorry I know some of these things aren't etiquette issues but just some things I wanted to bring up.

Well, if my fiance, who has lived in England for 35 years doesn't keep tea in the house . . .

Well, he's a man which is some excuse, and probably never had the hair dresser round.     And while I appreciate Pebbles debate about the workmen the hairdresser really is a whole different kettle of fish.  She really would have expected to be offered a cup of tea.  She was probably gasping for one which is why she asked.  Just buy a box of PG Tipps and a small jar of instant and stick it in the cupboard.