Understanding British Accents

Yep, I'd have to say that I'd rather have inefficiency and 4 weeks holiday in the UK than over-efficiency and 2 weeks holiday - where you have to BEG to take more than 5 days of it consecutively.

IMO, the corporate culture in the US is destroying people. I thank my lucky stars that I don't have to live that life anymore.

Oh, and I've known plenty of upper level US managers who couldn't type at all. It is not just a UK thing.

I am thankful as well for the 'hunt and peck' types, else my skills wouldn't be so impressive!
I work for a high court judge who is a LITERAL copy/paste guy... seriously, he will handwrite his judgments on notebook paper, and when editing/correcting, he will have a stapler and scissors by his side, and CUT and STAPLE previous drafts ON THE NOTEBOOK PAPER, BETWEEN HIS SCRIBBLE... that is 90% of my job... and I love it... it's like a puzzle game! 

Not to mention he's the kindest, nicest, old-school, lovely English gentleman type - which makes my job the BEST.

And on a cultural note:
Yesterday at my pilates class - which takes place over the pool (they cover it for an hour), two guys came out of the sauna, which leads out to where the class was... and began a conversation like they were at a party, like there was NO ONE else around, let alone a CLASS.
And guess what?
No one said a WORD.  I almost started laughing; then when I knew I'd be the one who would get so mad I'd turn and say "HEY!  Shut the F*** UP!", I took a breath, and quietly said, "Sorry, guys, could you please be quiet or talk elsewhere, I can't hear what's going on IN THIS CLASS...  Thanksomuch."
They actually looked like they had just noticed us.
At the end of class, ALL THE BRITS thanked me for speaking up! 

I find it odd that people get as upset as they do, particularly when I do try to caveat most of what I have posted with 'this has been my experience'...and my experience is exactly that, my experience - not necessarily anyone else's but not any less valid than anyone else's either.  I also don't remember ever saying that I thought the US to be perfect -- in fact, many times my posts are quite the opposite, such as when I mentioned that I don't think the US style of ever-greater-productivity, etc is necessarily good for the workers.  It's just that you don't realize how ingrained these things are in you -- even if you loathe them in the midst of it -- until you are trying to make a go of it elsewhere.  I'm having a hard time right now trying to find a niche for myself in the workplace here & I would like to feel that I could post (in the forum) about this struggle & the frustration, etc but I guess that I cannot, after all.  To be honest, I can't say that I have 'personal issues' with/for/against anyone on this web site, and I don't want to either.

Thing is people can post what they want for the most part... ( I think X rated photos would be a no-no...) just realize that some people may not agree with what you say and some people will misinterpret what you say. I was by no means telling you not to express your issues, but simply stating the other side of things.  Nor was I targeting one person.  By all means if one does not wish to hear and tolerate other opinions then a public forum is not the right place to post.

The problem for me comes when experiences are then turned into generalizations and stereotypes. Adding an IME or IMHO or whatever still does not make that statement better in my view and can still offend.  In some cases some person planning to move reads the forum and gets scared thinking of what they will face even before they move when they just might have a better experience.   

I usually don't say much because I assume that maybe I just don't understand where some people are coming from.  I do have a right though to not be miserable and to try to help people see that with effort and time they can come to adapt and make the most of life here whether or not it will ever be "home". 

I adapt.  It's my personality and my nature.  I try hard to share things to help people realize that their experiences are just that and not necessarily representative of the country they are living in. Even when there is an element of truth like in statements about customer service in the UK, I still see life in shades of gray. I have just as much right to say that in my experiences life is a certain way as well.  Or maybe only people that are having issues have a right to post?

I love my little corner of England and I guess I like to speak up for a country and nation that I have chosen to be a apart of. 

Maybe with luck and perseverance others will one day feel the same.  Maybe one day the UK won't seem so backwards and foreign. 

I hope I am making sense.  It is not my intention to argue or insult, but simply offering the idea that life really is not that bad.

It's just that you don't realize how ingrained these things are in you -- even if you loathe them in the midst of it -- until you are trying to make a go of it elsewhere.  I'm having a hard time right now trying to find a niche for myself in the workplace here & I would like to feel that I could post (in the forum) about this struggle & the frustration, etc but I guess that I cannot, after all.

Carolyn, everyone knows what you're going through. We've all been there and we totally sympathise with you. I know what you mean about it all being ingrained in you but you've also got to remember that you're now in a foriegn country and the only way you can adapt and succeed in the UK is if you keep an open mind to all the different things that will be coming your way.

No one is slagging you off, we're only trying to help you adapt as quickly and painlessly as possible. That's what we're here for. 

And I know exactly what you're going through with work but you've got to persevere and get on with it all otherwise you'll be totally miserable no matter what job you're in.

One of the things my current boss likes about me is that I have NEVER said "Well, in the US we do it this way..." as a way of complaint.

I'm not in the US.  And quite frankly, I'm not even in Leeds or Plymouth or London.  I do it the way it's done here in the office  I work in, and I'm sure things would be somewhat different if I were to move to a different office in the same town.

Carolyn, I so much understand your frustration in trying to understand how to do the job as if you've always been there. To mold yourself into the background and fit in to the pattern of how they do their stuff so you're not constantly going "huh?". It's tough being an intelligent person starting a new position. You want to scream out "I really am smart!". And with the nature of the temp work, you're going to have to acclimate to all sorts of different/new environments with the addition of another stumbling block that Brits don't normally think about having to face: any range of accents and ways of writing/speaking/spelling.

*sigh* it really does get better with time. But that's no consolation right now. The good news is that doing something like watching mindless TV does help. The progress in understanding can be positively measured by rewatching something like "The Full Monty" after not seeing it for five years. You will suddenly realize you get the joke. I also recommend you give yourself some crash courses...go out and rent some movies like "Once Upon a Time in the West Midlands" or "Billy Elliott". Listen to comedians like Peter Kay or Billy Connelly, those who talk of everyday life experiences in their own vernacular.

I'm assuming that your boss had to get some type of degree in order to get her job. How did she manage to get her classwork done?

My husband was able to get a degree very nicely without knowing how to type.  Fortunately grading is based more on what you know, not on how you present it. 
Schools are even now, returning to hand written work.  My daughter had to handwrite one of her English Essays for GCSE coursework.  Afterall, in the age of computers it is so much easier to plagiarize and copy and paste stuff off the internet.

My husband is 34 and a pretty poor typist, but that didn't stop him from getting a distinction for his Masters degree - something rarely handed out.

The progress in understanding can be positively measured by rewatching something like "The Full Monty" after not seeing it for five years. You will suddenly realize you get the joke. I also recommend you give yourself some crash courses...go out and rent some movies like "Once Upon a Time in the West Midlands" or "Billy Elliott". Listen to comedians like Peter Kay or Billy Connelly, those who talk of everyday life experiences in their own vernacular.

That is an excellent recommendation. Billy Elliott was on just a few weeks ago and I saw it again after seeing it the first time when it had just come out. The first time I had to watch it with the subtitles on (not joking). My mother and I were watching it and simply did not understand a single word of it. Watching it again last week made me laugh because I understood every single word. I was so impressed with the way I've come to understand the accents and not realise it.

I was like that the first time I watched The Commitments -- couldn't understand a bloomin' word of it. However, the absolute worst had to have been Rab C Nesbit.  That strong Glaswegian accent was very hard to understand.  Sadly, it's not on any more so I can't see if my deciphering has improved.

Carolyn, I so much understand your frustration in trying to understand how to do the job as if you've always been there. To mold yourself into the background and fit in to the pattern of how they do their stuff so you're not constantly going "huh?". It's tough being an intelligent person starting a new position. You want to scream out "I really am smart!". And with the nature of the temp work, you're going to have to acclimate to all sorts of different/new environments with the addition of another stumbling block that Brits don't normally think about having to face: any range of accents and ways of writing/speaking/spelling.

*sigh* it really does get better with time. But that's no consolation right now. The good news is that doing something like watching mindless TV does help. The progress in understanding can be positively measured by rewatching something like "The Full Monty" after not seeing it for five years. You will suddenly realize you get the joke. I also recommend you give yourself some crash courses...go out and rent some movies like "Once Upon a Time in the West Midlands" or "Billy Elliott". Listen to comedians like Peter Kay or Billy Connelly, those who talk of everyday life experiences in their own vernacular.

Steve introduced me to british culture w/ billy connolly and Peter Kay - I think they're great and I get most of their jokes, but not all.

Re-watching Love Actually after dating steve for 7mts made me get more of the slang and jokes. Makes me think of what I was missing! Now I'll have to re-watch Billy Elliott!

Warning - long post coming up!  Just wanted to say thank you for all the constructive feedback & advice – the supportive tone and content of your messages is appreciated much more than you know!  I am off to a permanent job interview today – for a post that I think I really might want & for which I think I am well qualified as the industry is similar to my last job in the US.  (And it does not involve audio typing!!!)  I’ll let you know how it goes.  Also, we are nearly off for our 2-week holiday in the States – leaving on Saturday.  It’ll be mostly family visiting, of course, but we’ll have a few fun days in Tampa Bay to soak up some warmth & sun – plus visit my nearest & dearest friends there (probably including some friends from my last job begging me to come back! such a good feeling!).

I agree with many of you that the work/life balance afforded by UK employers is preferable to what’s on offer in the US.  Looking back, I realize how lucky I was with the US employer that I had – I had worked myself into 4 weeks holiday after five years’ service and I also worked what was called an ‘alternative work schedule’, having every other Fri off (in addition to every Sat/Sun).  I also had an excellent supervisor & I found the job reasonably tolerable – though I slagged it off quite a bit, as you do.  Still, I know that many in the US don’t have it nearly as good as I did, and don’t even get me started on access to health care, etc.  (Plus the pace of change is arguably inhumane.)

The other thing too – customer service (or lack thereof) is a serious pet peeve of mine, because my last job was so intensively customer service oriented.  I would have been very quickly out of a job if I had routinely told customers – ‘I can’t help you. That’s not my department, etc’  So when I am confronted with that sort of service, I nearly go ballistic.  My husband, for his part, tries to calm me down & put it into ‘business terms’, i.e., these things being budgetary business decisions – does the company spend money on lots of upfront bells & whistles to attract new customers (at the expense of customer service & risk of losing old customers)?  Or do they focus on customer retention, etc?

I have traveled and experienced both good & bad service in countries that spoke languages other than English...  From an airplane home arriving a day late in Rio – at least the airport employees were kind & helpful about it...to losing my suitcase (and all my honeymoon clothes) in Spain – only for my husband to be scolded in Spanish on how incredibly stupid we were for being confused about our bus to Madrid (and no assistance whatsoever in helping us recover my suitcase which we never did).

Anyways, as with anyone – my observations, etc are going to be colored by ‘where I’m coming from’ in particular, with my background & experiences.  I never intended to come off as overly negative – only that certain things (to me) are more frustrating than others & I am trying to understand and come to grips with things as they are here.  Thing is – I’m not really certain what my expectations were in coming to the UK – I was so in lurrrve and wearing those kind of rose-colored glasses.  Also, I thought that sharing the same language (at least theoretically) as well as a robust economy – could it be all that different?  In other words, it didn’t occur to me – as foreign countries go – as being all that foreign.  Silly me!  I wish as I was considering my move to the UK – I had had someone to tell me a few potential negatives on being over here – to balance the happy-go-lucky ideas I had.  It’s not a good thing to discourage others from taking such a leap, but to portray the experience as all good & easy-going isn’t a fair representation.  (At least not for me.)

Believe me – I’m as hard on myself as anyone is – even harder!  And it gripes me to no end that as someone who’s always seen herself more as a world view person – I’m having troubles adjusting & find myself at times longing for the ‘good ole USA’.  Talk about being freaked out by harsh self-realizations!  My husband says that, while I have made an emotional commitment to being with him, perhaps I’ve not made an emotional commitment to living here – or at least not enough of one, yet.  We also frequently discuss the ongoing struggle between a need to adapt/change and the perfectly natural instinct of preserving oneself as one already is – and quite frankly, I am often left uncomfortably feeling as though I have to change every single thing about myself to get on here – which doesn’t seem entirely right to me either.

There are many things that I love & admire about the UK.  Anyone who regularly reads my posts will know that.  That said, I am presently very excited about ‘going home’ – even for just two weeks...as I told my husband last night – a place that I know where I am, who I am, what to do, where to go & how to get there!  (And that’s the entire SE quadrant of the US.)  It takes moving to a foreign country, I think, before you realize how much you took those basic things for granted!  Even so, I know it won’t feel entirely like home any longer...I am being assimilated (just like the Borg).

Plus, you can bet I’m not going to waste any opportunity to hassle DH on using the correct American word for this, that or the other – AND correct pronunciations too!  Heck, he’s only going to be there for two weeks (he doesn’t have to live there) – I’ve let him off easy before – so I have to make the most of this window of opportunity.  Told him he has to sit & converse all day with mom, who has a very strong regional accent, take notes & tell me what she talked about – there will be a test at the end!  Then to imagine that every day – he spends the entire day only with people who speak like that, but he’s not allowed to get frustrated or discouraged.  He says – It’s not really like that, is it?  (Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!)  If you can't take the p*ss out of your SO, who can you take it out of?!?

Well said Carolyn. I think you have summed up the experience so many of us have here. Please forgive those of us who may have come off a bit harsh though. We DO know from bitter experience that, yes, UKY IS a place to vent about our frustrations, but we also know that even in this little sanctuary we have to have a balance.

Good luck with the job interview and have a great trip home!

Carolyn -

I have to admit I have used this forum for a balance to make my decision to go through with studying for a year in Leeds and living with Steve. So many of my family members were questioning me left and right, I didn't know where to turn! They were so worried I was doing this out of love and I would be as frustrated and upset as you have been when I got there. I have 2 more months, but I feel well prepared for the ups and downs. Doesn't mean I won't have them - I fully expect them, but at least I will know a little better what to do and who to turn to (since you're so close!).

I took in the good points and the not so good points with a grain of salt and am now happy to say that I have made the right decision for me and for my SO.

Good luck on the job interview!