My Mom is very upset I'm moving to England

My mom doesn't care so much about me moving to England but about the grandchildren that aren't even planned yet living in England.  I joined the US navy when I was 19 so I haven't been living a home for 5 years and in the last 2 years I've only been home twice so it's really not that big a deal.

June

I'm late to the party on this one...

But my mom has been very strange about the whole thing.  She's funny.

I studied abroad, and my mother and aunt came to visit me then.  When I wasn't even /thinking/ of moving, my mother cornered me in a hotel room and said that it's all well and good if I'm moving to be with him, but don't think for a minute she would.

Now that it's actually happening she acts really bitter about how "I'm leaving her behind, not that I care about that". 

Now she's talking about theoretical grandchildren and how she wouldn't be able to bear being apart from them, so she'd have to move as well...  (This knowing that I do not like or want children!).

She's funny...

Anyway, I feel your pain!

I think a lot of mums/moms distress comes from them getting older and probably having some idealised version of life with their kids and grandkids surrounding them.

I miss my mom loads, but in some ways the distance has improved my relationship with her and god knows when i'm with her in 5 minutes she's drving me mad

It's nice to know I won't be the only one.

I know when the time comes for me and my honey to get married and me to move there she'll be so heart broken. BUT you can't stop your life because your mum is upset. She'll be okie...you can talk on the phone and email and all that stuff and see eachother when you go home to visit or vise-versa.

Good luck...let us know how it goes.

My sister, (who still lives in PA very close to my mum), recently reported that my mother said to her, "I wish Courtney weren't moving so far away." Ummmmmmm.........I moved to Los Angeles 20 years ago mom. Is London that much further away? <sigh>

ahhh... our mothers.  Mine said she cannot fly for 10 hours, so she'll never see me because she wont come to England.

ahhh... our mothers. Mine said she cannot fly for 10 hours, so she'll never see me because she wont come to England.

My younger sister is worried I will move away someday. She told me today she won't be able to see me if I did because she is afraid to fly over the ocean. Her worst fear is drowning. I tried to help her out by telling her if the plane goes down over the ocean most likely you won't be drowning. From that altitude it may as well be cement below. She didn't appreciate my reply. Not sure why 

ahhh... our mothers.  Mine said she cannot fly for 10 hours, so she'll never see me because she wont come to England.

mine wont fly at all.
after all these years, i know they will never come over, but occasionally i jokingly ask when they're coming... my mom always says the same:  'When they build a bridge.'

mine wont fly at all.
after all these years, i know they will never come over, but occasionally i jokingly ask when they're coming... my mom always says the same:  'When they build a bridge.'

Reminds me of that movie Field of Dreams "if you build it they will come". 

If they ever DID build a bridge, i would probably have to pack up and move to New Zealand... cos i really dont want my parents to visit.  My mom is the critical type, and would pull my entire life apart with her comments, im sure.

Our relationship is much better with an ocean between us! 

ahhh... our mothers.  Mine said she cannot fly for 10 hours, so she'll never see me because she wont come to England.

Sounds like how my Dad was!  He always said he'd never fly over an ocean.  But I didn't give him a choice!  I called his bluff by buying him (and the rest of the family) plane tickets and he actually did come over!  I was so proud of him    Afterwards, he asked where we'd be vacationing next! 

I sure wish I'd found this thread before I told my mother!  I just told her 2 weeks ago, and won't be moving until September.  She was very angry when I told her - implied that I faced certain death with the NHS, morned the loss of her yet-to-be-conceived grandchildren, claimed she'd never see me again.  I told her she could take me to the airport to say goodbye, she said she didn't know if she would be available.  She also claimed that my husband would never let her see the grandchildren.    

Last weekend when we visited she randomly burst into tears throughout the day. 

I'm going shopping with her tomorrow.  We'll see how that goes. 

I'm interested in how she is going to progress as the move approaches.  My husband is leaving in less than 5 weeks, and she recently demanded that he call her "mom" before he leaves.  It isn't going to happen.  I imagine more tears will ensue.    

It's funny... When I was in high school and looking at colleges across the US, my mom said that she didn't want me to go to school up north because then I would meet a guy there and get married and live near his family and she would never get to see her grandchildren.  (So, you see, they think ahead!)  I ended up going to college in FL, but then to grad school in NY, where I met an Irish guy and moved to England.  She never saw that coming!

On the up side, now she would be grateful if we move back to anywhere in the US-- it no longer has to be right across the street from her (although she still does really hope for that).

Mothers are mothers, what can you do?  Tell 'em that if they don't stop complaining, you are moving to Australia!  It won't help, of course, but they should recognize that England isn't that far-- it could be worse!

And rest assured that if you weren't moving here, they would find something else to complain about.  Just think about all of the other issues that your move is deflecting criticism from!  Every cloud has a silver lining, right?   

My mom would have loved to come over here and visit me, if she still had her health and mental awareness.  She loved traveling, though finances often meant she couldn't afford it.  I already broke her heart once by moving away from Kansas to Florida.  By the time I was moving here, she was pretty much physically & mentally incapacitated so as not to care too much.  It's sad what she has become (after nearly 30 years of illness).  But I like to think she would be really happy for me to be out in the world seeing things & having adventures -- as she would have so liked to have done herself.

Luckily for me, this was never an issue. Both my parents moved across oceans as soon as they were old enough to leave their families, so I guess it's in my blood!