What are Americans missing???

I really appreciated many of the posts in here. Thank you for the insight.
I especially appreciate what you had to say Nanady @ reply 107
and promise a detailed reply soon.

Until then:

Please accept my thank yous and appreciations to those who have remarked positively in favour of respect towards my opinion and I hope that anything that I contribute will be useful to an American moving to Great Britain.

At first, I was upset at how so many wanted to insult me and I almost retaliated: but I thought about it and wondered...if I do that, than I am no better then he or she, and then decided to write this instead to the entire forum. Please consider the following:

 In addition, I only hope that I can answer your, (Nanady) question here with some useful experiences I have had here in the UK so far. After all, isn’t that what this forum is supposed to be all about?...that is to try and answer your question of the forum's topic, 'what are Americans missing?' I believe this forum is not meant a place for insult, joking imaterially beyond its useful point of topic, or senseless,
drunken rhetoric. Instead, I had hoped that it would be what I thought it was going to be; a place where sensible adults from The USA could view each others opinions and experiences and in turn, form one's decisions and ideas personally within oneselve's notion of living in the United Kingdom.

What I had really hoped for and feel really let down with (more than useless insults here in this forum) is that when I came here, I really believed that was going to be a place where Americans would be helping other Americans. Instead, it wound up, being made by some here, a playground to launch attacks of useless, cheap, unconstructive, immature, beside-the-point insults, most likely as a result of some self-insecure, personal problem, or garbage.

More importantly, I had hoped that this forum would have been one that 'shares' its views of how all of those have 'experienced' living in the UK and how we might all be able to benefit from each other. No matter how good or bad someone views or wishes it could be, or believes it could be, at any rate, you would think that each and everyone would respect each others opinions and experiences.

It is one thing to be here to observe each other's opinion and facts; subjectively as well as objectively and certainly another to simply just throw at one another personal insults from which no one wins in the long run, are completely beside the point, and in the process will not help to answer Nanady's forum question to began with.

Some people obviously, from the first post I gave, took offence immediately, because they were in some way hurt; which to be honest came as a big surprise to me because I was simply giving my point of view from opinion and personal experience. To be perfectly honest, I had hoped that it would help to be viewed as part of a growing number of varieties in posts that I thought were supposed to be experiences and opinions useful for all those who consider more than just one avenue of information. 

My post was simply one person's point of view, irrespective of if you agree with it or not. Making rude comments about a person as a rebuttal to an opinion, experience, or comment made from experience usually is used as a last resort to compensate disparingly for one's insecurity. Rather than lash out, why not constructively suggest with a helpful, humane concern that's honest, open and mature?

Finally, I have statistics, recent breaking news headlines, and credited reports that suggest a partial if not full contradiction to some, if not all, of the points made by jmaster911 in post reply #131 which I look forward to revealing to you and hope will help assist you with the solution of your important moving decision.

Do you really still not see how people were offended by what you wrote?

 

Do you really still not see how people were offended by what you wrote?

 

No, I really still do not see how anyone could be, because I simply did not set out to offend anyone, but to only share my opinions based upon my experiences in RE: What are Americans Missing??

how many times can you say "opinion, view etc.."? really - there wasn't much said in that post that couldn't have been said more concisely.

You never answered all of the other questions posed for you either, Southernboy - why is that? You only responded with "this is my view, accept it and move on". Well, we disagreed (I say we, b/c a majority did disagree) and we stated this with factual information - not just "opinions and perspectives".

we-ell, OK.  I'm struggling here about where to begin.  Part of me thinks, just lock it and hope it goes away.  Part of me thinks, no it's a good topic with some interesting points of view.  So what to do?  Because quite honestly I read this and I can't quite understand why people have problems giving opinions without either being insulted or insulting.  
We all come from different places, different backgrounds, we all have different ways of looking at things-and we're all going to have different experiences here.  We've moved here at different times in our lives, to different places, for different reasons.  No one's experience is going to be the same.  And when someone says 'this is how I feel' that's not saying 'this is how YOU must feel'.  And I can see both side's points of view.  I can.  There have been one or two VERY vocal members on here who believe that anyone who said they were happy was lying or anti-American.  But for the most part that was years ago.  Sure it comes up now and again, but we can shrug it off.  Also, there's a contingent of people who are very happy here and whether they mean to or not, there does seem to be a tendency to post 'I LOVE it here' or 'I NEVER want to go back' when sometimes someone just wants to have a moan about missing Target or being homesick.  
And yes, we're here to offer support and listen to different views-but I don't think that means just having an 'it sucks and I hate it' rant.  Because like I said before, only looking at the negative and comparing everything is not going to help.  It's just going to drive you crazy.  And the people disagreeing with you aren't attacking you-they're just saying 'it's not that bad, there are ways to make it work, stop looking at only the negative and try to help yourself'.  A lot of people have had a less than smooth time of it, but if you're looking for people agreeing with you that it's horrible and everything sucks I'm afraid you're not going to get that here.  Because that's not support.  That's just sharing negative energy.  You'll get support here, it just may be more of the kick in the pants variety.  
Another thing I'll mention is this, it's hard to understand where a person is coming from if we don't know them.  Sometimes it's very easy to take a person the wrong way if there first post is negative.  Introduce yourself, have a look around, join in some conversations that aren't debates.  We are a nice forum but we tend to be on the chatty side and this is the way we've been for years.  If you don't like the forum or the way it's run, then OK, we're not for everyone but don't think things are going to suddenly be done differently because you don't like it.
Alrighty, now one more thing.  Jmaster, I know what you were trying to do, and I take your point about the wine, but well, a lot of us get that kind of negative Anti-Americanism in our real lives-and a lot of the time it's presented in a HAHA I'm only having a laugh, you're all like Jerry Springer kind of way.  But that doesn't make it right, it's just tiresome and a bit lazy.  You had some good points so why spoil it with cheap shots? And I understand that you were responding to a negative posts, but I don't think you went about it the right way.  
I'm done, I'm not going to lock it, but I am going to ask for the last time that we stay on topic and keep the arguments to pms.

No, I really still do not see how anyone could be, because I simply did not set out to offend anyone, but to only share my opinions based upon my experiences in RE: What are Americans Missing??

Well if you cant see how anyone could be offended by your comments then maybe that's part of your problem.
I was offended by your comments. Very offended.
Are you in the military? Why are you staying here? If I were working/living in such a place as you described then I sure as hell wouldn't stick around!

Sorry Mindy...I'm done. I won't post anymore on this thread.

I really believed that was going to be a place where Americans would be helping other Americans.

I think perhaps you need a little help in learning how to put forth an opinion without making it sound as if you're insulting an entire nation and those who choose to live in it. That may not have been your intention, but that is how it was perceived by many of us. Learn from it.

We all come from different places, different backgrounds, we all have different ways of looking at things-and we're all going to have different experiences here. 

Noone's saying that one person's opinions are less valid than another's. Quite the contrary. All opinions are welcome. However, SouthernBoy stated his views as fact, not opinion. That's where I got insulted. It's comments like, "Nearly everything is second or third rate in quality than what you are used to in America," that annoy me. If it's an opinion, that's fine. But please make it clear that it is. SouthernBoy did not do that.

Mindy - took your advice and sent a PM  

You know, I don't want anyone to *come around* to my way of thinking.  I just don't like being told in any way, shape or form that my way of thinking is silly or not valid or impossible to be true.

And quite frankly, those with negative feelings about the UK are entitled to them.  Great.  But to go on ad nauseum about how absolutely horrible this country is, like one was sentenced to a one-room shack in a third world country - well, that's a bit extreme, isn't it?  Even my most unflattering opinions about the US don't paint it that dismal. 

I was offended by your comments. Very offended.

I was offended too. Not at the sentiments per se, because you are certainly allowed to be miserable and hateful about your surroundings if you so choose (though like Ricki, I'm not really sure why you would want to be....) It was the way they were presented - as an unfathomably long list of nasty comments about many things that quite frankly are just simply untrue (e.g. there's nothing to do here but walk in the countryside.)

I'm one of the people who vocalizes quite a bit about loving it here, but I'm perfectly willing to let people vocalize the opposite unless I think they're being unfair. I feel really strongly that people moving over here need to hear from people who have had success as much as they need to hear about things that are hard. But I always really try to put my comments in the context of opinion. And to that end I also really try not to slate off the US but rather to state the things about it that really just aren't my cup of tea or things that I prefer about the UK. You decided that rather than say, for example "there are more things that I enjoy doing in the US and that's what I'm missing" it was a better plan to say "there's nothing to do in England."

We really are a nice group of people here and there is ENDLESS proof of that. But we also get a bit riled up from time to time when we feel that someone has just popped in here, seemingly out of the blue, and started insulting things that many of us hold dear....

That's it. My last off-topic comment too. Unless my insecurity and immaturity get in the way again.

JOKING.  

Edited to say:

Even my most unflattering opinions about the US don't paint it that dismal.

That's a very good point....

No, I really still do not see how anyone could be, because I simply did not set out to offend anyone, but to only share my opinions based upon my experiences in RE: What are Americans Missing??

Honestly I am not trying to fuel the fire here but I wasn't offended by Southernboy's post.  I thought he had an interesting point of view.  Some of it I agreed with and some I don't but it doesn't matter.

Southernboy, and I guess the rest, too,
     I don't agree with your opinions about the UK, and I, for one, don't care how you chose to express them. Who was the guy who said something on the order of "I'll defend to the death your right to have them"? There does seem to be a tendency on this site, from time to time, of a sort of verbal "pile-on" once one of the many-starred members says they've been offended or insulted or whatever. I don't support that. Defending yourself tends to bring on more, but notice this. If you check how much a thread has been viewed, you may find that there seems to be a lot of interest in such threads. I don't know whether that means such interaction is somehow needed (could this be what Americans are missing?) or what.

DJC


     

Starting to feel a bit narcissistic here but could we PLEASE focus on the question "I" ask and stay on topic.....I ask for opinions, I got them and not everyone agrees with some stated.....NEXT!!!!!

I am enjoying all the feedback I have gotten and would hate to see this thread locked...I would take it way to personal and I don't need more rejection in my life today


BTW That last comment was a joke...that is my warped humor

how many times can you say "opinion, view etc.."? really - there wasn't much said in that post that couldn't have been said more concisely.

You never answered all of the other questions posed for you either, Southernboy - why is that? You only responded with "this is my view, accept it and move on". Well, we disagreed (I say we, b/c a majority did disagree) and we stated this with factual information - not just "opinions and perspectives".

I'm afraid you've miss quoted me-no where did I say, in my post above, 'accept it and move on'. Obviously, you're one of those who like to read in whatever you like, even though someone may have never said it.

your answer to your question, 'What is that?'....my answer is, I am not here to answer your questions. I believe I made myself quite clear as to why I am here in the above post.

Southernboy, and I guess the rest, too,
     I don't agree with your opinions about the UK, and I, for one, don't care how you chose to express them. Who was the guy who said something on the order of "I'll defend to the death your right to have them"? There does seem to be a tendency on this site, from time to time, of a sort of verbal "pile-on" once one of the many-starred members says they've been offended or insulted or whatever. I don't support that. Defending yourself tends to bring on more, but notice this. If you check how much a thread has been viewed, you may find that there seems to be a lot of interest in such threads. I don't know whether that means such interaction is somehow needed (could this be what Americans are missing?) or what.



I too dont really care what you think about how I may express myself or if you agree or not with my opinions....all that really matters is that I helped answered this main forum's topic question with some options for solutions

after all you're entitled to your own opinion are'nt you DY?

DJC