Importance of an expat community

Californians are so touchy-feeling, Texans have to slap them occassionally  .

LOL.

i understand the use of humor. It could be on point humor though.

I suppose, but I still think totally off-topic, pointless humour is much funnier. But then I'm an odd-ball.

'I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.'

-'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handey

I suppose, but I still think totally off-topic, pointless humour is much funnier. But then I'm an odd-ball.

That's from all those Texan slaps! 

Sorry, one last comment (or perhaps this thread should be split?) I actually don't think it is a method to shut down controversy. I think it's a method to make people laugh again after a discussion turns personal and/or ugly.... For the most part (of course there have been a few random exceptions) the only times I've ever seen a thread degenerate badly is when the arguing becomes blatantly insulting. It's possible to have a good, vigorous discussion without people trying to make others feel bad about themselves and one way is to introduce some levity.... Or maybe that's just my touchy-feely California attitude.  

Is it too early for wine and chocolate?  

Well said, Anne.   

DJC -- re: filibuster...are you thinking of the thread that floated into wine country?  If so, I think that your being newish might have led to some misunderstanding. (Let's be clear that I'm not bashing newcomers...just saying that sometimes there's lots of backstory that isn't immediately apparent when you haven't been here a long time.)   There's quite a long history with many (heck, most!) of the people involved in that thread, so you might not have picked up on some of that.  The filibuster wasn't an attempt to shut down a healthy debate...it was more an attempt to say, "Whatever, let's move on!  ", to that and related posts.

It's amazing what you miss when you go off email for a 24 hour period!

Back to the OP's question.

I was coming to London for a job.  I didn't have any friends or family or husbands or boyfriends over here.  My only support was from the work community, which ended up not being entirely supportive (though a few did try their best).  I wanted to get other opinions, other views and different info from the small group I was working with.  And so it became a very supportive and useful forum for me.  It still is at times.  And I think I've also helped out by welcoming people, answering the questions I can and being friendly.  I tried to put together a few gatherings (some worked, some didn't) and hope to continue doing so in the future.  I've met some wonderful people and look forward to meeting more.  I like this forum for what it is.

"Whatever, let's move on!  "

Hey, that's Britwife's line  .

That and trading recipes and knitting patterns. 

I don't knit; I crochet and sew while trading recipes and drinking wine and eating cheese.   

I used to belong to another UK-USA forum..and chatted in there quite alot and found this one from a link that was posted there..I hadn't been in the forum for a long time.

I just wanted to meet other American's that has gone through what I have. Someone that I can connect with..that has grown up the same way I did and miss the things that I miss..and understands WHY I miss them..

But as well make some new friends..I am a loud mouth WELL rounded Okie woman....some people don't like me and don't like the way I come across to them. Oh well....the people that do like me..realise that they have a friend for life and I am here now matter what. I'm non judgemental but will offer my opionion quite freely.

I have butted in on postings and started my own...either you comment or you don't..

No one wanted to meet up with me when I come to Gatwick...I shouldn't say that a few did but aren't able...for those I thank for the thought......I take it with a grain of salt.

We are here to interact on all sorts of levels.....Just cause we can't "see" each other doesn't mean we aren't friends or comrades!

Gotta go to back to work now!!

Shell
XX

i understand the use of humor. It could be on point humor though....  It takes a little more thought and effort than simply changing the topic to spicy or plain pappadans, but it's worth it.

Unfortunately, in some circumstances there is NO possibility of 'on point' humor.  I can't find anything funny about telling the other people on this board that they are incapable of holding an intellectually stimulating conversation.  Sometimes simply changing the subject is the best way to avoid nasty, ugly blowups.  (I'm a middle child....I HATE confrontation!!!)

BTW, I prefer spicy pappadans.... 

I came on this forum as I knew I would be going back to the U.S at some point and really wanted to understand America and Americans from their own perspective rather than people who had not been through the same experiences or even been there! There was also a complete stranger who was more than happy to help me with all the Immigration paperwork at a time I was quite flustered with it and going through a major upheaval in my personal life.

I married an American, but I didn't marry the country, or even like it the first time and I had trouble understanding why I was considered a snooty english chick over there when in fact I was actually just reserved, typically British and took my time to get to know people.

I have stayed because the Americans here are the ones I wish I had met in America! That might sound insulting, I truly hope it is not, but the guys here have a wonderful mix of American/British perspective and it makes for very interesting discussions.  I love hearing everyone's view, expats share a very unique set of circumstances and I have found are very honest and open in their exchanges.  I have also made some very good friends (albeit virtual friends) and I stay because not only do I keep learning, but because I might be able to offer up some help when needed.

Therefore, I think this forum/expat community is an incredible resource if used appropriately and this one in particular is  well run, well moderated, free of charge with members who mostly respond with care,consideration and sometimes outstanding generosity and I just wish the people that choose to be argumentative or derisive for the sake of it would remember that.

I don't ever recall saying that anybody here was incapable of holding an intellectual stimulating conversation. I think and hope most people are. But for a lot of folks, perhaps a majority here,  they prefer to do that without causing any offense, controversy, or upset. That's OK, I guess, but for me, personally, it waters it down some. They can do it their way or opt out as some have said they prefer. What I said was that prefer something more freewheeling. Maybe it's having lived in the Bronx where a witty insult is an art form, even often a competitive sport used to avoid more physical conflict, and if you take offense, you lose.  Note that I haven't used those skills at all and don't intend to. Thanks for the filibuster spelling and explanation.

DJC

Maybe it's having lived in the Bronx where a witty insult is an art form, even often a competitive sport

Hmmm ... doesn't sound much like the Bronx-ites (?) I've met!

I'm with Onetiger on this you go off and pandemonium breaks in.

I think she means Trash talking

 Like I've said before you get what you express...most of the posts DJCNY have been on the touch condescending if you want stimulating conversations you're quite free to start them not just wait till someone does it for you..I do a lot of Medical ethics debating in class so when I log on it's basically for wibble I don't mind gauging into a heavyweight discussion but many just discuss light entertainment...When I meet up with friends we don't alway engauge in the economics of happiness or social reform sometimes we just want a bit of escape so that's how I utilize this forum.. ....and as for MsTanya she was here for what 3 nano seconds and because we didn't respond straight away to something or if we gave an opinion contradicting her she went off in a huff so I am amazed that out of all the responses of support and understanding that you received the one that was here the least amount all of a sudden is your best mate...next you're gonna tell me you're give Ou ESL lessons

Oh well ...life goes on..wonder if you are this thought provoking in your Craiglist

Hey, that's Britwife's line  .

That big eight-wheeler runnin' down the track
Means your true lovin' daddy ain't acomin' back
'Cause he's movin on, he's rollin on
You were flyin to high for my little ol' sky
So I'm movin' on

But some day baby when you've had you play
Your gonna want your daddy but your daddy will say
Keep movin' on, keep rollin' on
You were flyin to high for my little ol' sky
So I'm movin' on. Move on baby.

Mr. Farmer won't you please listen to me
'Cause I gotta pretty momma in Tennessee
Keep rollin on, keep movin' on,
Please listen to me let this rattler free
And keep movin' on
Move on ol' son, move on

Well I told you baby from time to time
But you just wouldn't listen or pay me no mind
And now I'm movin' on, I'm rollin' on
I'm through with you, too bad you're blue
But I'm movin' on
Move on baby, move on
I said move on, I said move on,
I said move on, I said move on,
Well I'm through with you, too bad you're blue
I said move on, I said move on
I said move on, I said move on

There are tons of forums out there, some more freewheeling than others. Why does this forum have to be all things to all people? If it is not meeting your needs, there are plenty of other places to feel more fulfilled. I'm getting fed up with all of the complaining about the way this forum is and a few people trying to drag 3,000 people over to their way of doing things.  I come here to get away from that, I like the fact that it's not confrontational all the time. That's tiring to read and to respond to. And please stop with the "I respond this way because I'm from X", that just sounds like a cop out. I know that we were all raised better than that.

Now that I've broken my form on this forum to get upset and post about what's being going on here, I'm going to return to the regularly scheduled programming of favorite products, electrical differences and the wine vs beer conundrum.