What is it with drinking in the UK?

Ok....here's a bit of a lesson for ya Smilie means :it's a joke.....

I'm aware of what a smilie means and can take a joke when I'm inclined to.   

...it really is hard for me to make friends here, because even the women my age (I just turned 40) spend every weekend out drinking. Most want me to leave my husband at home and go out with them (leave him home to babysit, and then the next night I will stay home while he goes out with his mates to drink) and I find it so terribly unhealthy and boring.

I totally understand how you feel. DH has stopped going out with guys except for maybe once every 3 months. That was his choice not mine. I never asked him to, never got upset when he did. He just said one night it's not fair that I always go out and you never do. He even asked me to go a couple of times. I declined because it wouldn't have been right for me to be there when none of the other wives or girlfriends had been asked. I knew he was just asking to make me feel better lol. I tried to explain to him that I don't mind him doing it, it's expected of him here and I understand that. But that was 4 months ago and he's been out twice. He does go with them every Friday for lunch at the pub and he always has a couple of drinks but he has stopped going out every other weekend for the purpose of a 'crawl'.

The first time our single female next door neighbor asked me to do something with her (and she's my age btw) it was to go club hopping downtown with her and 4 of her other friends. Before I answered she proceeded to tell me that their last night out had resulted in one woman passing out at the table, another woman vomiting in the toilet, and the rest of them laughing about the entire experience. Gee thanks, sounds like a wonderful way to introduce the new girl on the block to life in the UK. I politely told her that I appreciated the offer but had other plans for that weekend (which we really did) and that I'd have to take a raincheck. I've not been asked out again since and it really hasn't bothered me. Now don't get me wrong, she's a lovely woman and I couldn't ask for a better neighbor. I'd love to go have a meal with her or go shopping or something of that nature but I don't care for our first social outing to be one where I'm going to have to watch people pass out and vomit. I went through that phase of "fun" when I was a teenager and on into my twenties. I don't care to relive my youth at the age of 42.

Okay a question to put to you all. What is a alcoholic? With this pub culture..I find the definiton of a alcoholic seems to fit alot of people here. Maybe my definition of a alcoholic is wrong. "A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess". 

Another question:  Is noticing how everyone behaves all the time and passing judgements on it an American phenomenon?  How do people manage to find energy to do this?  I take multivitamins and still feel too knackered to notice who is drinking what and when. 

Another question:  Is noticing how everyone behaves all the time and passing judgements on it an American phenomenon?  How do people manage to find energy to do this?  I take multivitamins and still feel too knackered to notice who is drinking what and when. 

For me this isn't a 'American Phenomenon. I only watch the people I work with and my husband.  I am knackered watching him drink.

Personally I like the French/Spaniard attitude towards alcohol...you have a drink and appreciate the experience.. The US and the UK view alcohol drinking at completely opposite ends of the spectrum..to me both are not healthy.

When I was living in the US there was binge drinking in the US and seemed at the same level as the UK among 16s-30s the only difference is that it spills out in public pubs/clubs in the UK while in the US people just do it at friends houses or run across the border to TJ.

I dunno about the others on this thread but I find an alcoholic to be someone that forsakes all other things in life for drink. When they perceive they can't function with any everyday tasks without the tipple that's when there's a problem or that's when I perceive it as being an alcoholic.

That's not it at all.  Anyone who's lived here for any length of time and made efforts to really understand the culture can see that.  It's just there - at lunch, at celebrations.  If you want it, fine.  If you don't, that's fine as well.  No one really cares if you don't feel you need it to have a good time.  

At our last Xmas lunch, I had two glasses of wine, then left to go do some shopping w/the rest of our half day off.  Others chose to stay and make merry.  Everyone just said, 'Bye!  Have fun!' , not 'Why aren't you drinking more?'  

Most people here don't spend time analysing other peoples' habits, something I find incredibly liberating after life in the States.  

Yes, I was born and educated in the US.  But I'm not there anymore.  I chose to come here and live here.  So I try my best not to judge my adopted culture.  It is what it is, work colleagues w/the odd hangover, pints and lunch and all.  

Alicia, you're going native here and assuming that everyone has a sense of humour    .

Expat, I do understand the culture. I don’t have to agree with or conform to all aspects of it though. I’m not going to deride or belittle the people I work with if they have a drink at lunch and I’ll probably be right in the middle of any office party I have the pleasure of attending.  At an office party you typically don’t have to go back to work afterwards. They’re held later in the afternoon or in the early evening when you’re not expected to have to go back to work. Yippee! A chance to have a little fun on a workday and get a little “giggly” on the bubbly. I’m up for it.

I don’t analyze other people’s habits and usually have the motto “live and let live”. God knows I don’t like other people up in my business. It’s only when another person’s chosen lifestyle begins to infringe and hinder mine that I get defensive. Hence, my problem with people showing up hung-over or, worse yet, still drunk from a romp on the town the night before. Yes, I can tolerate the occasional incident but not on a weekly or daily basis. That’s what I take exception to. I’d take exception to it in the US, here, or any other country I lived in unless it was part of somebody’s job description.

Yes, I wasn’t born or educated in the UK but I’m here now. I came here to be with the man I love. I’ll be here until he has fulfilled his responsibilities and we can move to the US. I’m not trying to change the culture I live in. It will be here much longer than I will. I’m not attacking the UK lifestyle, I’m just stating how I don’t agree with one aspect of it.

Expat, I do understand the culture. I don’t have to agree with or conform to all aspects of it though. I’m not going to deride or belittle the people I work with if they have a drink at lunch and I’ll probably be right in the middle of any office party I have the pleasure of attending.  At an office party you typically don’t have to go back to work afterwards. They’re held later in the afternoon or in the early evening when you’re not expected to have to go back to work. Yippee! A chance to have a little fun on a workday and get a little “giggly” on the bubbly. I’m up for it.

I don’t analyze other people’s habits and usually have the motto “live and let live”. God knows I don’t like other people up in my business. It’s only when another person’s chosen lifestyle begins to infringe and hinder mine that I get defensive. Hence, my problem with people showing up hung-over or, worse yet, still drunk from a romp on the town the night before. Yes, I can tolerate the occasional incident but not on a weekly or daily basis. That’s what I take exception to. I’d take exception to it in the US, here, or any other country I lived in unless it was part of somebody’s job description.

Yes, I wasn’t born or educated in the UK but I’m here now. I came here to be with the man I love. I’ll be here until he has fulfilled his responsibilities and we can move to the US. I’m not trying to change the culture I live in. It will be here much longer than I will. I’m not attacking the UK lifestyle, I’m just stating how I don’t agree with one aspect of it.

Good on you then. 

Some of us are lifers, some of us move on. 

I don't agree w/some aspects of UK culture, just as I don't with some aspects of American culture.  So what?  What is the big deal?

It is what it is.  Take it or leave it.  Life's a trade off.  You find what suits you best and yes, there will always be unpleasant or unattractive elements to deal with.

As Alicia said, 'Different stroke for different folks.' 

When I left Denver, squads of police were present in 'LoDo' the trendy part of town centre, at closing time every Friday and Saturday night, after several fatal shootings occurred following drunken arguments in bars and clubs.

So to say this is a UK problem is nonsense.

As for peeps showing up w/a hangover, well, like Paula said, better them than me. 

I've got friends who drink and friends who don't. 

If you're finding only people whose idea of fun is to go on the piss, branch out!  Join a ramblers or runners club, get into some non-alcholic hobbies and you're likely to find similar-minded people who participate in a range of activities besides drinking.

Make it a positive, not a negative!

again if these bouts of alcohol are affecting the workplace then bring it up with the Occupational health...if people are coming in with Alcohol breath or hung over that they can't perform their tasks or function properly then bring it up...there are code of conducts in the work environment that every office abides by. Isn't that why there are Duvet days ...sleep off these hang overs

I've had experienced from close friends , co-workers from different work /office/clinical environments having the old "Man , got so totally pissed last night...." conversations but I've never had the "alcohol breath" co-worker is this a big problem ..I've had the "coffee-creamer breath" co-worker and the "excessive halston perfumed" co-worker before though...

I've had the "coffee-creamer breath" co-worker and the "excessive halston perfumed" co-worker before though...

OMG, they still make Halston perfume?  Oooo, now that is offensive!

I've had the "coffee-creamer breath" co-worker

*Hangs head in shame* That would be me.

Or the "I've just popped back in from my smoke break" worker who reeks of the stuff...  

BTW - I always make sure to chew on a piece of gum upon my return to work so as not to offend anyone with my Guinness breath! 

Good on you then. 

Some of us are lifers, some of us move on. 

I don't agree w/some aspects of UK culture, just as I don't with some aspects of American culture.  So what?  What is the big deal?

It is what it is.  Take it or leave it.  Life's a trade off.  You find what suits you best and yes, there will always be unpleasant or unattractive elements to deal with.

As Alicia said, 'Different stroke for different folks.' 

There is no big deal. I was simply stating my opinion on something as you and others have stated yours.  I don't agree with all aspects of the US culture either and if this were a thread on one of those aspects I'd probably be just as vocal, at least I'd like to think I would.

In all fairness I should probably start posting more on the threads where I have a positive opinion. It's not in my nature but is something that I need to work on. I'm much more vocal about things that I don't agree with as opposed to things that I do agree with. I'll make that a resolution of mine from now on. If I see a thread about something I like in the UK I'll make a post. That should get my post count up quickly because there are lots more things about the UK that I do like than those things I don't like.  

BTW - I always make sure to chew on a piece of gum upon my return to work so as not to offend anyone with my Guinness breath! 

Ew, see, there's your problem right there.  Guiness rots.  It's only good in a casserole or added to beef stock.

If you would only get it through your head that wine is better than beer, life would be easier for you.

On a sunny day, my boss and I get the same look in our eyes about 12.30 or so - "pub lunch day"!

We go somewhere with a nice beer garden, nosh on chips or nachos and have a pint or two in the sunshine.  And then we go back to work and get just as much done as if we had simply eaten M&S sarnies at our respective desks.

I envy you because of this.    That sounds like heaven!