engagement

Hello everyone!

Ok, I understand this may sound a bit materialistic and pretentious (actually it does).  I am wondering, however, what engagement rings are like in the UK?!  Are they generally different than the US?  I've read that the ones in the UK more commonly are birth stones.  J/w, thanks.  Do you all find this to be true in your experiences? 

In the US it seems almost sometimes like the size of the diamond a woman has on = the amount that she's worth.  It's a bit tiring

The one thing I've noticed about engagement rings in the UK versus the US is they're usually twice as expensive for the same ring! If you're interested in saving money and getting a better value, definitely shop for your ring in the US... or buy it from an online US retailer.

There's definitely more variety over here -- you see lots of rubies and sapphires on engagement rings.  I have a blue diamond and got lots comments on it (in the US), but not nice ones -- people would always remark about it being a blue topaz with some kind of sneer on their faces, like DH was too cheap to buy a diamond (though really, what business was it of their's anyway?  Maybe I wanted a blue topaz!  ).  When I explained it was a diamond, I got the feeling that lots of people didn't believe me...like they didn't know that blue ones existed or something.    Over here, I've had nothing but positive comments and every woman who has commented on it has known it was a diamond rather than a topaz, etc.  Diamonds are still popular as engagement rings, but I've noticed that they tend to be smaller over here (though that could be due to where I was from in the US v. where I now live in the UK) and that more women have the 3-stone rings than solitaires.

The one thing I've noticed about engagement rings in the UK versus the US is they're usually twice as expensive for the same ring! If you're interested in saving money and getting a better value, definitely shop for your ring in the US... or buy it from an online US retailer.

this is really true, i've looked at my diamond here, similar size and quality and it's over twice the price...i am so happy he listened to me and bought in the states.

and i always get comments from his mom and her friends about my ring and how big it is and how spoiled i am....but the thing is, it's no where near the size of my friend's rings at  home.  it was a concern of ours-hence why he bought down in size and up in quality.....but i still never hear the end of it.   

i like the different rings people have.  i do notice a lot of women have a small diamond with other stones around it, or vice versa, and i like that look too!!!!!

another thing, some of the women i work with have eternity rings as their engagement ring, with diamonds around it.

My ring is a family ring and it's (to me) rather large.  I feel very conspicuous with it on.  But it was my great aunt's and I love it.  

However, when I'm in the US, I don't feel so much like it sticks out.  It's kind of small, comparatively, over there.

I have a blue diamond and got lots comments on it (in the US),

Jealous, jealous, jealous 

I think it's beyond crass to be only concerned with the size of ones engagement ring- urgh! What about the beauty, individuality, the romance? I am not saying people shouldn't get the most bling for their buck, but find it ikky that size is the main criteria for a lot of American women, as if their value can be assessed by the size of their rings only!

Not saying this is the case for you Luxie, indeed congrats on the impending engagement! Aimiloo is right about the cost though, particularly now with the exchange rate.

Little bit different if it is an heirloom piece in which case size is not a choice and is the best reason to wear a whopper of a stone

Yeah, congrats Luxie! 

I agree that there's more important things to spend money on than a huge rock. It doesn't say anything about the couple other than the amount that the guy was willing to waste on something that's only symbolic... it says nothing about love!

There does seem to be less of a concern with the size of the diamond over here, though I think that has a lot to do with the way diamonds are marketed here.  You don't see those DeBeers adverts every 15 seconds like you do in the US, for example.  And I do hear women here talking about quality a bit more than size.  I knew a girl in the US who had a 2-carat solitaire, but it was total crap.  Like, you could actually SEE the black inclusions in it.  She didn't care and was always finding a way to mention the weight of her diamond.    

I must admit that I did feel a bit of pressure to have a bigger diamond in the US.  The women in my family all have huge rings and the first question my (female) students asked when they found out about my engagement was, "HOW BIG IS THE RING?"   Now that I've settled into married life a bit more, I'm more comfortable just wearing my wedding band from time to time, which is something I'd never do in the US, now that I think about it.  Eeek...shallow, thy name is Lola.   

Not that I'm anywhere near getting engaged or married (damn slow BF!), but I have a question regarding wedding rings. It seemed like all my married friends in the US had stones on their wedding rings. I always thought a wedding ring should just be a simple plain band. What's the custom over here? I don't think I really look at people's rings very often, so I don't have any idea.

Not that I'm anywhere near getting engaged or married (damn slow BF!),

Ahem, YOU can propose to HIM! (but still make him get you an engagement ring!  )

but I have a question regarding wedding rings. It seemed like all my married friends in the US had stones on their wedding rings. I always thought a wedding ring should just be a simple plain band. What's the custom over here? I don't think I really look at people's rings very often, so I don't have any idea.

I've seen all kinds, both here and in the US. 

One thing I've noticed over here is that lots of married women don't wear rings at all...which I find quite strange. 

There does seem to be less of a concern with the size of the diamond over here, though I think that has a lot to do with the way diamonds are marketed here.  You don't see those DeBeers adverts every 15 seconds like you do in the US, for example.  And I do hear women here talking about quality a bit more than size.  I knew a girl in the US who had a 2-carat solitaire, but it was total crap.  Like, you could actually SEE the black inclusions in it.  She didn't care and was always finding a way to mention the weight of her diamond.    

To me that screams "I'm insecure, SOMEone thinks I am worth it"

I think you're right about the ads, I am sure I saw an ad over there once that said something like "you're worth a months salary" or somesuch. That has to play on a girls mind when she has grown up with that expectation.

My wedding band belonged to my mother-in-law's mother (my husband's maternal grandmother).  It's quite wide and it's got a very nice flower pattern etched all around it.  No stones, but very pretty nonetheless.  

I think you're right about the ads, I am sure I saw an ad over there once that said something like "you're worth a months salary" or somesuch.

Oh yeah. I've seen that. Blech! Is that really ALL I'm worth? A month's salary?!

Not that I'm anywhere near getting engaged or married (damn slow BF!), but I have a question regarding wedding rings. It seemed like all my married friends in the US had stones on their wedding rings. I always thought a wedding ring should just be a simple plain band. What's the custom over here? I don't think I really look at people's rings very often, so I don't have any idea.

Traditionally it has been the plain band but over the last 10 years or so, it started to change when people began buying celtic type wedding bands and then in this bling era, I think anything goes.

When my hubs proposed, we couldn't afford a good (not big!) ring and a wedding, I had spent thousands flying back and forth to the US for a year, so we had tattooed wedding bands (a fine heart on a ribbon around the finger) and my hubs always promised me I would get the diamond- I didn't WANT "the" diamond, but he ended up buying me a big one we couldn't afford, I made him return it and he got me a tiny but beautiful diamond that fitted into the tattoo heart when I wore it over the top. My dad brought our wedding rings from the UK with "I love you" engraved on the inside as I preferred the 18 ct gold option here.

As our fortunes have ebbed and flowed (mostly ebbed!) I have been given various anniversary pieces (yellow and pink sapphires are my faves), but last year my plain wedding band was replaced by a wider diamond band and I adore it, but I adore it because it took 8 years to get there.

For my tenth anniversary I was promised bigger and better diamonds or a horse- I WANT the horse!