so soon?

Am i supposed to feel down so quickly? I've only been here since Saturday and it's only Wed. Steve's worked full days this whole week, I knew this would be this way. I've gone to the gym with him at night, kept busy organizing, cleaning, studying for the driver's exam, emailing and calling friends but I just burst out into tears this afternoon for no reason. I am getting the guts up to take the bus to the gym to meet him after work today which will be huge for me. I took public transport all the time in the US, but it just seems scary here. I just want to know if this is normal, I thought there was a honeymoon stage? I felt that way at first, but last night and today I just feel so down, which is affecting my desire too (if you know what i mean).   :\\\'(
I feel silly, but any suggestions? Or is this something to just ride out?

Aw.  You're just finding your feet.  Once you start classes and make some freinds of your own and get out and about you'll be fine.  Why don't you get the bus into town now or go for a walk-have a look around.   

Please don't think for one second that I am minimizing this as I'm sure I will go through the same thing, but have you considered PMS?  Some of it might just be hormonal on top of the natural and normal pangs of making such a gigantic move.

My heart goes out to you.   :\\\'(  I'm sure it will all be fine, just take it one day at a time and let yourself adjust to what your going through.  You wouldn't have made this move if you didn't believe in your heart it was the right thing to do, so think about all the good reasons you had for making the move and try to find those in your day to day life.  

Thinking about you and just knowing it will be better for you!!!

~Liza

Yep -- totally normal.  My first four months here were pretty poopy.  Just ride it out and things WILL get better.  You'll probably go through a little mourning period because you'll feel like you "lost" your old life, but that'll pass as you start to get used to living here for an extended period of time.  Just remember that what you're feeling is perfectly normal -- allow yourself to be sad/angry/confused....you've just made an international move!  

Hugs!

Yeah - you need to just get out there.  You need to find out where things are, where you would buy what you need, get your bearings on public transport - or even see what's in walking distance.

Think of it this way - it would be different if you had simply moved from one state to another in the US.  Really.  Living in "urbran sprawl" Florida would be SO different from living in the heart of NYC.    So try not to think of it on an international/global level.  Break it down to simpler terms.  It's a new town, full stop - go explore!

It's a big change, Andrea -- just ride it out.  Give me a call.  The way I 'dealt' for the better part of...well, until I started working really (and truly) -- was by sleeping more than I prolly should have & bugging Steve constantly at work through messenger.  The more you get out though, the better you'll feel.  Let's talk and GO SHOPPING soon!

Thanks, but it's not hormonal, that would just add to it. I hope it doesn't take too long. It's not easy to figure out how to get downtown just yet. I've tried the bus site and I even have a good map, but it doesn't make much sense to me. The most i can do today is try to get to the gym (on the way downtown). It doesn't help that one of my supposed best friends is delaying making her plans to come visit.    I know i'll be fine, but right now I am feeling crummy. Totally unexpected this soon, I thought there was a few weeks til I felt this way.

thank you everyone. i just need to know I'm not alone and this has happened to others.

Hugs, Andrea!!! I really, really understand what you're going through, in fact I probably could have written that post two years ago!! It WILL pass, but it may take some time. It is totally and completely normal.... You're doing the right things - keeping busy. But I also would suggest getting out of the house as much as possible. Go for a walk - go to the post office, or to get a cup of coffee, or a newspaper, or whatever. It's so hard to be stuck inside all day. Also, if you can, try not to wait for Steve to come home all day - I put SO much pressure on my relationship by basically asaulting J the second he walked through the door. And it took him a while to understand that I'd been stuck at home all day, essentially waiting for him, and desperately wanted the company while he just needed to unwind from work and not be bombarded.... The last suggestion I can give is to try to get past your fears - it took me AGES to be able to order something in a shop or a pub or make a phone call or ride a bus and I think I let that fear take hold to the point that it was a little disabling.... Once you've done it a few times, you'll wonder why you were worried!! I promise!!   If I were in the north I'd invite you out!

Get yourself an A-Z of your immediate area and study it.  I was sent one by another ex-pat who lives in my area before we moved and it was a godsend.  Really.  I just took it with me and walked up and down the streets and knew I could find my way back as long as I had the A-Z!

You just have to take that first step knowing that you really don't know exactly where you're going!   

  It's not easy to figure out how to get downtown just yet. 

You can get out there on that canal (by the canal) & WALK to downtown.   But it's prolly a few miles...   It's five miles (approx) from Horsforth & I think you're further out than that.  No seriously, I'll help you get sorted with public transport, to the best of my limited abilities.

you are so not alone....

the first week of me being at home alone and him to work SUCKED

but i spent the mornings out, and spent the afternoons on here winging about it.  

it's a big BIG change you've made.......it's a lot of work in the beginning.......but as soon as you figure out how to get around etc. it will be much MUCH better

1. Go to bus stop that's on the side of the road that's going the way you want it to.

2.  Look at the sign.  It'll have the list of numbers(buses).  Find your stop on the list.  Look at the stops after it to see where each bus goes.  See what time it stops at your stop.  

3.  Chat to the people at the bus stop.  They will help if you ask them directly.

4.  Get on the bus.  Tell the driver where you're getting of and if you want a single(one way) or return(both ways).

5.  He'll tell you how much, you pay him as close as you can in change.  He'll give you a ticket.

6.  Sit down and locate the bell.  Watch out the window.  When you see your stop approaching-approx. 200 yards ring the bell.  

7.  Get off and say thank you.

This is your homework for today.  You can do this.  You can speak and read English.  You've been to University.  You can use public transport by yourself in the UK.  Good luck.  

Aww, you poor thing!

I doubt your body has even adjusted to the time difference and let's face it, massive change you have made yet, let alone your emotions

Ah, the impatience of the young

It will get better, but it can't be forced, it's almost like it happens gradually without you realising.

Hope you feel better soon

Absolutely normal.. I even go through it nowadays..not as much..and it gets better..  I agree with all the brilliant  ladies  who posted before  about  getting out there.. even if it is in walking distance..  Know where things are.. The more you do for yourself the better you will feel about how much control you have  on things around you.. I think that has been the hardest thing  for me..like AnneR mentioned.. being  needy and allowing myself to be  disabled  by my fears.. It is awkward at times  and you will feel like everyone is looking at you..but it's ok..     
where do you live now?  I know NOT Arlington!!      people on this site have been wondeful.. don't be afraid to ask for help..

1. Go to bus stop that's on the side of the road that's going the way you want it to.

2.  Look at the sign.  It'll have the list of numbers(buses).  Find your stop on the list.  Look at the stops after it to see where each bus goes.  See what time it stops at your stop.  

3.  Chat to the people at the bus stop.  They will help if you ask them directly.

4.  Get on the bus.  Tell the driver where you're getting of and if you want a single(one way) or return(both ways).

5.  He'll tell you how much, you pay him as close as you can in change.  He'll give you a ticket.

6.  Sit down and locate the bell.  Watch out the window.  When you see your stop approaching-approx. 200 yards ring the bell.  

7.  Get off and say thank you.

This is your homework for today.  You can do this.  You can speak and read English.  You've been to University.  You can use public transport by yourself in the UK.  Good luck.  

And if you're lucky like I've been, the driver may even look out for your stop for you if the bus isn't too crowded!    I've had plenty of times where I'm not sure what where I'm going exactly looks like.  So I make a big deal about asking the driver and they usually remember and will stop for you and let you know it's your stop!