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Topic: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?  (Read 2644 times)

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Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« on: August 30, 2005, 06:21:28 AM »
Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this...

Our situation is that we're a young couple, the male lives in the USA and the female (me) lives in the UK. We want to be together as soon as possible but everything seems to be in a tight spot. We're both still college students and the highest amount of pay we can get is just a mere part-time job. We're both stressing out and the male seems to start having symptoms of depression which is really worrying. We seem to be completely on our own on this because our relatives don't want to help us.

I know you don't know me and this is my first time post... but if you have any advice at all, it would really help. Thanks a bunch.

- Julie


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2005, 08:38:39 AM »
Have you met in person yet?  Could you plan a holiday for the Christmas break?  It would give you something to look forward to. 
I've suggested this to someone else, but how about looking for a summer job together next summer.  CampAmerica is a good place to start. 
Short of that there are always student visas. 


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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2005, 09:00:56 AM »
Hello! This is Eric Julie's boyfriend

Anyways yeah, we've met and we are pretty serious about each other, to the point of getting married.  I originally planned a holiday, but I have since recently moved into my mother's house to attend college.  However my mother dissaproves of my relationship and has decided to give me no support and is even threatening to kick me out of the house (as if making her son pay rent isn't bad enough) I wanted to finish up a college program so I could make more money to be a sponsor and to find a place to live.  College will take one year and I think I need a tax statement to show proof of income so I'm thinking it would take around 2 years if I went with that.

All of it is making me feel really helpless and stressed.  Visiting is nearly impossible and I want to be reunited with my partner as soon as possible.  I haven't much funds, but I'm willing to give up on college for a couple of years if I can make the process sooner, or if it were easier to find a job in England or to immigrate there instead of the US.  Any input would be greatly appreciated, thank you for the help.

~ Eric


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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2005, 10:00:32 AM »
If I applied for a fiance visa would it matter if my sponser lived in her mother's house and her mother recieved public funding?  Would it be okay as long as she doesn't get extra funding?  Is it possible to get co-sponsors from America and is it possible to have more than 1 co-sponsor?


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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2005, 10:15:39 AM »
PS, if you're feeling depression nip it in the bud.  see a dr.

i had to do this and was on meds for almost a year.  it really really helped me.  i was a wreck when we were apart once we got to the marriage stage.....

wish i could help more....


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2005, 10:22:30 AM »
I know this probably wont be of any great comfort but it's my belief that if you're meant to be together you will be together no matter what. Ocean, parents, money, youth...none of it will get in the way if it's meant to be... it will be :)
Best of luck!


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2005, 12:06:28 PM »
is even threatening to kick me out of the house (as if making her son pay rent isn't bad enough)

What's wrong with adult children paying rent to parents if they're living at home?



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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2005, 12:11:34 PM »
I paid rent to live at home once I turned 18 and was working.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

- Benjamin Franklin


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2005, 12:42:10 PM »
I paid rent to live at home once I turned 18 and was working.
I didnt pay rent but I started working when I was 15 and once a week my mother insisted I bring home a bag of groceries. I remember working for $3.15 an hour :)
I moved out when I was 18.


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2005, 12:54:36 PM »
I paid rent to live at home once I turned 18 and was working.

I moved out and paid rent to a landlord, but my sis lived at home whilst getting her journo degree, worked, and paid rent to my parents from the time she was 18.  It didn't seem to have stopped her living her life how she wanted - she's a happily married teacher and mother of two lovely daughters now with her own home.


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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2005, 01:32:56 PM »
i moved home after US uni, before moving to the UK.  i paid my parents rent, was expected to make dinner 2 nights a week, and serve as taxi to little sister one night a week.  i considered it a very fair deal. 
If you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2005, 04:47:56 PM »
Quote
If I applied for a fiance visa would it matter if my sponser lived in her mother's house and her mother recieved public funding

Thats fine as long as she (her mother) will be allowing you to stay there temporarily.
Also .both you and Julie will have to show proof that you two can finacially support you while you are unable to work. Co-sponsers in the US isnt recommended,its best to have one in the UK and yes you can have more then one co-sponser

You said you were both young,just how young are you guys?


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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2005, 03:38:15 AM »
I'm 18, turning 19 in January and she's 17 turning 18 in january as well.  So how much would be enough to finacially support us?  I currently have 2k american dollars in my bank account and I'm thinking about working full time until she is 18.  So I'd get about maybe 5k and then I could sell my car and all my crap and probably come up with another 3k.  So I'd have about 10k, but probably more around something like 8k because I always overestimate things.  We would be living at her mothers until we both got jobs to rent a flat, so I don't know if we would be paying much.  She doesn't have a job either and no one else in the uk to co-sponsor and the only co-sponsors we can get are from the U.S.  Does that sound possible at all? Would I need more funds?


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Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2005, 06:43:39 AM »
Are you talking US $$? Because that's about £4000 which won't last you very long.  I suggest you and your fianee give some serious thought to how this is going to work.  When your fiancee signs the visa form she is agreeing to financially support you.  This is not only for the fiancee visa but also the spouse visa, because if you are unable to find work here you can't claim any benefits for the first 2 years, similarly any co-sponsor. 

You say visiting is nearly impossible - why if you have a few thousand in the bank?  Flights don't cost THAT much and it sounds like you have free accommodation with her mother.   To get you over here, you fiancee is basically going to have to give up on higher education and start earning enough to keep both of you - is that what you want for her? I'm not saying don't do it, just think through how this is going to pan out.  If I were you I would come for a few more visits.  If you think you have symptoms of depression now, how do you think you will cope living in your mother in law's house for months on end with no job & no income? You might think that being with your fiance is enough to overcome that but don't count on it.  I'm just saying proceed with caution ...


Re: Young serious couple, apart... best thing to do?
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2005, 08:25:34 AM »
I'm 18, turning 19 in January and she's 17 turning 18 in january as well.  So how much would be enough to finacially support us?  I currently have 2k american dollars in my bank account and I'm thinking about working full time until she is 18.  So I'd get about maybe 5k and then I could sell my car and all my crap and probably come up with another 3k.  So I'd have about 10k, but probably more around something like 8k because I always overestimate things.  We would be living at her mothers until we both got jobs to rent a flat, so I don't know if we would be paying much.  She doesn't have a job either and no one else in the uk to co-sponsor and the only co-sponsors we can get are from the U.S.  Does that sound possible at all? Would I need more funds?
Awwwe... bless! I hope things work out for you two.
Best of luck!


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